Will they be ready for Christmas?????

[pigletwillie]

Being an avid radio 2 (and 4) listener, I took Terry Wogans advice and started off on a gentle simmer, our Christmas sprouts in mid June, a couple of weeks later than he reccommended.

Now, the question is, with 18 people coming for dinner on the day, will these sprouts be ready, or do I need to come up with away of catching up the two missed weeks????

Yours, a most concerned Piglet

[shirlthegirl43]

Give them 30 minutes or so in the microwave - that might help The topping up is a real bind isn't it

[Seahorse]

That was terribly cavalier of you PW! I think your only hope is to convince your guests that al dente is the in thing this year.

[Alice]

You'll have sprouts Piglet but they might be smaller than will make portions for 18 people. To bulk them up I like them this way
lightly boil the sprouts in chicken stock and drain well
Sautee lardons and shallots in a pan (enough to make the bulk)
Mix all together and serve.
Nicer than plain boiled sprouts anyway. Well I think.

[pigletwillie]

Sounds good Alice, I also do them with lardons and add walnuts and orange zest.

[Flummery]

They're not done till they're pink in the middle PW. At least, they always were at school - and I'm sure they started them WEEKS in advance. Cabbage too. Well, a good boiling makes sure it's tender!

[Alice]

I know what you mean about the pink bits Flummery. As a child I was always convinced the pink bits were SLUGS that had been in the veg and cooked. Maybe I just had an overactive imagination.

[Shortie]

18 people? That's brave

[Peter]

Dear Piglet, while it was most remiss of you not to follow old Tel's advice all is not lost.

We can catch up, but it will entail a couple of days hard work on your part.

You will need a welding kit 200m of high melting point angle iron steel, five plumbers brazing torches, ten 15L propane tanks, a stainless steel automated watering system, a nuclear hardened CCTV system from Maplins and a medium, or in your case medium+ sized lexan safety screen.

Construct from welded angle iron a suitable plinth to take the five plumbers torches as a ring to make a super wok style burner, install the stainless steel watering system to feed in over the top and adjust using an identical pan to the one the sprouts are currently in to ensure the water falls dead-centre of the pan. Finally add a tripod mast of securely welded high melting point steel over the burners, clearing the pan, but allowing the cctv camera to rest about twenty feet above the pan.

Set up the CCTV monitoring station, gas control valves and watering system controls behind the lexan screen, at a distance determined by your local councils health and safety team.

Don your best protective clothing, light the custom made burner and using your Snadger-tongs transfer the actively boiling sprouts from the cooker to the new burner.
Using the CCTV and watering system to ensure that they do not boil dry, gradually increase the gasflow to maximum on all five torches, one at a time to allow for connecting the second gas cylinder to each when the first runs dry.

When all 150L or propane is exhausted re-transfer the sprots to your cooker. Do not be tardy in doing this as you may end up with spouts that are several hours short of ideal cooking time.

Yours Auntie Petre-Rabbit.

[HeyWayne]

..or, put cabbages in on a boil setting, by the time Christmas comes around they'll be perfectly sprout sized, and will smell lemony fresh.

[wellie]

Piggy,

You haven't said if the Sprouts are Green ones or Red ones, because there's a huge difference in the cooking method between the two, don't you agree Peter Rabbit?

[Flummery]

Whatever the colour, if he wants them nice and tender (!) he should really start boiling them today.

[Peter]

Dearest Piglet, how are the sprouts doing?
Yours, Auntie Petre-Rabbit.

[pigletwillie]

Dearest Auntie Wabbit,

they still feel a bit too al dente, have ordered in 10 more gas cylinders for the triple ring burner.

[smallblueplanet]

Are you doing them in a pressure cooker? You'll be sure they're just done by xmas day then.