bread-making/cry from the heart

[BroadRipple]

I have no idea which forum to put this under, as it's a strange combo of baking/kitchen-gardening and pitiful self-help...BUT I've started to make my own bread (Dan Lepard, you have a lot to answer for) and want to know if there's any way to get those yummy grains you find in granary bread other than buying granary flour. You can buy wheat/rye etc. grains, but I don't know how to make them usable for bread.
Also, anyone know the best way to sprout grains? Like seeds, but on kitchen towel?
Also...WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? How did I turn into a chilli-drying bread-making compost-obsessing seed-sprouting neo-hippy urban farmer? What's the next step? I'm frightened that that scary couple in Kitchen Garden mag, the vegans who make their own oil, are only a step away...help me somebody...help...me...[fades away into wholemeal obscurity]

[zazen999]

How to Make Mozzarella - Mozzarella Cheese Making Demo - YouTube

[SarzWix]

Hahahahahaha You've missed out spinning/weaving/knitting, tallow candles and a methane digestor...

You should be able to get the seeds/grains you're looking for from a biggish healthfood shop. There's a couple of good ones online if you don't have a local one

[BroadRipple]

torturer. actually I started reading the Barbara Kingsolver ANIMAL VEGETABLE MIRACLE about an even more hardcore attempt to go home-made, and their unbearable smugness soon cured me of cheese-making thoughts. at least for today.
btw zazen, i loved your mathematical avatar. your new one scares me. what if some of the others start posting sexy santas or erotic easter bunnies?

[BroadRipple]

Sarz...yeah but...ok I haven't yet started weaving jumpers out of guinea-pig fur yet but it's a matter of time.
if you start a 'ye homespuny ways' forum i'll be in like a shot.
Also... it's OK I've got the grains, I just don't know how to turn them into whatever the kind is you use in granary bread. any ideas?

[Florence Fennel]

There are some grapes on here with spinning wheels BR, so be careful what you wish for

[BroadRipple]

I bet there are, and I'm coming round with a very small bag of guinea-hair.

[Munch]

Wine making, no one has mentioned wine making, at least then you could be rather too sozzled to care what comes next

[taff]

I'm frightened that that scary couple in Kitchen Garden mag, the vegans who make their own oil, are only a step away...help me somebody...help...me..

but.....but......you ARE them!
didn't you know?

mwahhh haaa haa haaaaaaa!!!

[BroadRipple]

Taff how can you SAY that? have you seen them? if not, please please somehow have a look...they are extraordinary. I'll be Joe Maiden happily (love that beard), I'll even be Medwyn Williams, but that couple is frightening on so many levels. Have you seen their recipes?
anyway, that's mad. I'm not them. I'm Percy Thrower.