Job Vacancy for The Gardeners Rest

[Cadalot]

So if no Panto what else have you got in mind, any form of entertainment planned, a slight of hand Magician perhaps? A real one this time, as Rary is very good at making coins disappear but once gone he never appears to be able to retrieve them again from behind an ear of any other orifice come to that!

[Lumpy]

If any one wants to put forward an idea or volunteer to do the entertainment please post on here.

After my brain cell had a very short thought about it all I do have a suggestion.

How about this year we keep it 'normal'. The quiet crackling of the fire, gentle murmuring of conversation with the occasional titter from VC etc etc.

[Snoop Puss]

I don't think normal is possible at the GR. The place seems to have a mind of its own, for starters. And Nicos... well, you'll have to get her agreement first. Last year, she had a way of setting things in motion.

[Cadalot]

"Grapes" in the same sentence as "Normal" now there is an example of an Oxymoron if ever I heard one

Mr Smith my old English teacher would have been stunned if he saw this post, me using a word like Oxymoron. I would be surprised if he did because he died many moons ago being about 105 when taught us back in the 70's

[Nicos]

Ha! ^^^ you think peeps listen to me??????

But of course....I do have the only key!

I did wonder if we could clean up the GR barn the weekend before the pub opens and hold a Christmas Fair...stalls, donkey rides( need a volunteer or two to be the donkies) , aFather C******** (beat you to it VC) for the children, games, free mince pies and mulled wine etc?
I have plenty of homemade C'mas decorations for one stall...and eco garden decorations for another.
A band, guess the weight of the 'mas pud....singing.
What do ya think?
The barn hasn't been used for years so will need cleaning up , but when I peeped inside yesterday through the dusty window it looks watertight and safe..(well, as safe as it could be in our hands!)
I have a feeling I know where the key is too.....

Worth taking a proper look inside?

[Lumpy]

See.................see...............see I try and be all sedate and 'normal' and look what happens.

Nicos mentions donkey rides although I personally believe it should be reindeer rides.
We all know whats going to happen. Trigger will appear with a bent up coat hanger selotaped to his head demanding to be THE official GR reindeer while Cad and Balders will be fisty cuffing each other over who is the reindeers bum in a costume they have rented from Twits R Us.

Cue LD with her feather duster, VC with her broom (not the flying one) and GL with his rendition of singing to entertain us.

[Cadalot]

Lumpy I will not fight with Balders over who can be the rear end of the "panto" I mean "festive" reindeer, may I suggest that we get a real reindeer like some of the garden centres do down our way.

[veggiechicken]

You were still in school in your 70s!

You're either a slow learner or your name is rary.

[Cadalot]

No VC we aren't all as old as you or Rary Darlink, I was 60 this year, I left school in 1974.

[veggiechicken]

Methinks you protesteth too much

[Snoop Puss]

Spanner in the works: Mr Snoop says my chosen tree is much, much, much too big. But his real objection is that it isn't really a Christmas tree. I can provide a largish pine tree with a dusting of snow that will never melt. Would that do instead?

[rary]

So if no Panto what else have you got in mind, any form of entertainment planned, a slight of hand Magician perhaps? A real one this time, as Rary is very good at making coins disappear but once gone he never appears to be able to retrieve them again from behind an ear of any other orifice come to that!

NO ONE said I had to bring them back

[Cadalot]

Snoops tell Mr snoops it's not about size its what you do with it

Aren't Christmas trees a type of pine?

Unless there is fruit on a tree I can't tell one from another, I have a few how to identify tree books as I'm so useless at identifying them.

[rary]

I don't think normal is possible at the GR. The place seems to have a mind of its own, for starters.

And Nicos... well, you'll have to get her agreement first. Last year, she had a way of setting things in motion.

What are you im-- imp-- saying Snoop, that we can't behave
As for Nicos setting things in motion, over the past year I have been installing composting toilets, for the clientele to use, ok its all the big shrubs in the garden but they are free of charge, yummy just need to pay for the security camera to be redirected, before any action £2. After any action £20..

[veggiechicken]

Aren't Christmas trees a type of pine?

Maybe its one of those dingly dangly things to make your interiors smell nice. Maybe that's what Mr Snoop has in mind?