Confessions of an allotmenteer

[Baldy]

So far this year I've taken confession from plot holders for 1960s inappropriate bus driver - young lady shenanigans, expenses misappropriated on beer and mildly problematic local political shenanagins.
People like to talk to me. They seem to trust me.

Anyone had worse confessions?

Why doesn't Monty Don mention this when he talks about allotments?
"Get it off your chest. Dump your problems on someone else. Reduce your emotional reliance on corduroy... ?"

[veggiechicken]

You been talking to yourself again, Baldy?

[SarrissUK]

I don't get any confessions.. I wish I did! That sounds interesting! LOL

[Snoop Puss]

Maybe they assume you've done something similar or worse, so you're a safe confessor figure, in that you won't judge them harshly...

[Baldy]

Maybe they assume you've done something similar or worse, so you're a safe confessor figure, in that you won't judge them harshly...

Hmm, you could be onto something there Snoop - though I don't know why anyone would make that assumption...

[Cadalot]

Balders are you wearing that priests collar down the allotment again?. It's about time you told them its a shed with a composting wc next door, just because it has a seat and a mesh window for ventilation It's not a confessional booth.

[Snadger]

Bless you my son.

[Aberdeenplotter]

It's long been known that allotmenteering is a great way to escape from life's problems and of course a problem shared is a problem halved innit.

[Lumpy]

Come here a minute Balders as I’m desperate to talk to someone.
I have a secret. Not a little one but a piggin great doozie.
Giggle, mumble, snigger, struth that’s an impressive size, giggle, mumble.

Now, Balders if you tell anyone else I will take a pair of tweezers to your dangly area and make sure you live up to you name.

Kissy kissy.

[Cadalot]

Lumpy My eyes are watering...…..

[SarrissUK]

haha I am laughing so much I am nearly falling off my chair haha

[Snoop Puss]

Lumpy, I'm speechless. Well, certainly on a family forum.

[Baldy]

Lumpers trumpet(ing) again...

[Lumpy]

Lumpy, I'm speechless. Well, certainly on a family forum.

I was talking about a giant cucumber and hairy ear lobes......................

[lottie dolly]

Baldy,are you open to hear my confession,now remember not to tell a sole,he we go,LD whispers,
I have been inventing new naughty words in my stress over virgin,