Organising Solstice shinnaggingans..........

[Lumpy]

OK it’s raining again and I was thinking about things that I enjoy.
My main source of funny is the annual Crimbo Gardeners Rest.
I thought all Grapes who are going nuts with the present growing conditions might unwind with the following................

So..........

Lumpy sat at the kitchen table looking out of the window at the rain. She’d already inspected the thermometer to find out that it was 9 oC

She remembered the goings on at the Yuletide Gardeners Rest and smiled.

Why not a Solstice Party?

Lumpy heaved her impressive (well done Sal) weight off the reinforced chair and started to dance in a jerky movement.
She could hear the call of both the seasons and music and was just about to strip off naked when the fellow Grape shouted......

[mrswadders]

Oh eck the waters worked it's way in,water ingress always causes malfunction.

[Lumpy]

Oh eck trumpeted Lumpy.
Water makes a very soggy elephant and Solstice celebration what shall we.

[veggiechicken]

.....suck it up with?

There's was a rousing chorus from the Grapes Choir................

Use your Trunk, Dear Lumpy, Dear Lumpy, Dear Lumpy.
Use your..............

[Lumpy]

But cant........

I’ve had it shortened shouts Lumpy,
Shortened shouts Lumpy,
The surgeon left me with half of a snout.

Can we bucket it dear Geapes,
Can we bucket it dear Grapes,
She shouted out.

VC grabbed a .........

[greenishfing]

From my dim and distant past I remember I once worked with a lot of Swedes and Norwegians (on a cruise ship). They really celebrated the Summer Solstice. I don't think that I could cope with those sort of celebrations any more!!! I don't remember much about them really....I do remember a fertility tree....not much else apart from lots of alcohol and singing and dancing. Too old now!!! (mores the pity!) If I remember rightly when we were having these depraved heathen celebrations we were in cold,rainy miserable Alaska....and really needed cheering up!

[Lumpy]

^^^^^im sure you’ll be fine reassured a slightly worried Lympy.

She’s organised a tent. It could be as big or as small as a Grape wanted it to be but it did have an annex where struggling toms and peppers etc could be housed.

On the upside it also came with a resident band called the Slug Libbers who promised a very varied range of music and noise.

It was located just south of Fertle Sonetime and half a mile from Squidgy Buttock.
Lumpy was sure Grapes would find it do they could.........

[Cadalot]

if for no other reason go via the Squidgy Buttock garden center the see if the 50p see sale was on. As they walked up the lane the huge tent suddenly appeared and outside was an impressive line of grapes waiting to get in and on the gate was......

[mothhawk]

....a sign - "Free entry if you bring your own sarsen stone". Great, I'm sure I've got a spare one left over from...

[Lumpy]

We could build our own Henge squeaked Lumpy then we could all stay up and say oooo and arrrrr as we pretend to see the sun come up through the thick cloud and pouring rain.

[Cadalot]

Little did Lumpy know that a months worth or rain was about to fall from the sky in about four to five hours that day and that there would be a Thunder and lightning warning with even more rain due the following day. Just then......

[Lumpy]

Lumpy thought about all of the issues and loudly declared ‘That’s it I quit’she cancelled the big tent thingy, the munchies and Howard the Druid and decided to investigate cross stitch.

[Cadalot]

meanwhile CAD had got completely the wrong idea because instead of Howard the Druid he had thought the attending celebrity was going to be Howard the Duck! ....