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  • Male or Female?

    Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:



    FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.



    PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.



    They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.



    TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated



    HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.



    SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.



    WEB PAGES:
    Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.



    TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.



    EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.



    HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.



    THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
    Imagination is everything, it is a preview of what is to become.

  • #2
    Nice one! I'm afraid it has now been duly 'pinched' and is being circulated...

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    • #3
      Nice one Lainey Lou. Anybody want to add to the list.

      From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

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      • #4
        Lainey Lou.
        See Wellie spray Cabernet Sauvignon all over computer screen....
        Now THAT was funny sweetheart. High Five.
        X

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        • #5
          Brilliant!! Now everyone in the office wonders why I have a huge grin on my face ... and I'm not telling them!!! Yet....
          Life may not be the party we hoped for but since we're here we might as well dance

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          • #6
            I like it! Very good lou, consider it circulaterised...

            You forgot to add cars though - which are clearly female. Men love them, and spend a fortune keeping them, but without regular servicing and tlc they will give you grief later in life.
            A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

            BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

            Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


            What would Vedder do?

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            • #7
              Walnut Trees are all Female...cos the more you beat them the better they be.
              TVs are women....because they spend 90% of their time telling you stuff you don't want to know.
              My phone has more Processing power than the Computers NASA used to fake the Moon Landings

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              • #8
                " A woman, a dog and a walnut tree .." I believe. What am I saying?
                Whoever plants a garden believes in the future.

                www.vegheaven.blogspot.com Updated March 9th - Spring

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                • #9
                  Just because you're quoting it Flummery, doesn't mean you have to believe it. That old saying was obviously written by a man!!!! And on a personal note I've owned several dogs and they respond to training with kindness far better than they do to "beatings". A dog cowed into obedience by beatings will just bide it's time, will never be really faithful, and will get it's revenge and the first opportune moment. I would think the same would apply to women. May work with walnut trees I suppose, but I would assume that this refers to thinning the fruit so it bears a good crop.

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                  • #10
                    Not its for the Grain of the wood. You bash the tree with chains to give charitar to the wood.
                    My phone has more Processing power than the Computers NASA used to fake the Moon Landings

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                    • #11
                      Walnut Wood

                      Originally posted by NOG View Post
                      Not its for the Grain of the wood. You bash the tree with chains to give charitar to the wood.
                      If you bash the tree with chains you will damage the bark - which I suppose might give a wavey character to the grain - but the best character wood comes from a burl and I don't think beating up a tree would help!
                      The weeks and the years are fine. It's the days I can't cope with!

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                      • #12
                        I think it was meant ti stimulate sap flow.
                        Always thank people who have helped you immediately, as they may not be around to thank later.
                        Visit my blog at http://podsplot.blogspot.com/ - Updated 18th October 2009
                        I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/

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