Gentle Thoughts...

[wellie]

Patience is the key to joy.
(Fortune Cookie)

Now where's that luddy Chinese Takeaway I ordered an hour ago?...

[bubblewrap]

Here's another from Mike Harding!

THE WEDDING AT NUMBER 18, CLEGG STREET

'Twas a fine foggy day in Septober
The rain it were bucketing down
So I picked up some buckets - and I flogged 'em outright
To the council for half a crown

Through the drizzle a form come walking
Clad in an old flannel vest
He wore nowt on his feet but bunnions
And a cauliflour pinned to his chest

What a man has to do for a living
He said as he passed slowly by
And I recognized him, it was Acroyd
I could tell by his roving black eye

'Cos it had roved off his head to his kneecaps
And was stuck there swivelling round
When lasses walked past it looked up, aghast
And at other times looked at the ground

'Ay up lad,' I said, 'eh, how are ya?'
He smiled, his teeth blackened and broke
He said, 'I'm marrying a lass in the morning'
I said, 'Its better than marrying a bloke'

So we went to the registry office next day
On back of bus - 59
The bride was too wide to get up and ride
So she run like bugg'ry behind

At Oldham the hill was against us
It was far too steep for the bus
So I held the brides aspidistras
And made it easier for her to push

To Cheers and Hurrahs she shoved us
Right to the top of the hill
But her eyelashesran down her face with sweat
So she'd a tash and mutton chops too

After the wedding was over
We went to the Clogger's Arms
Where they'd tripe and cow heel and parkin
Black peas and black puddin' on barms

The bride cut the cake with her false teeth
'Cos someone'd buggered off with the knife
But she didn't take care and they slipped - and flew through the air
Causing buggerations, trouble and strife

'Cos they landed on grooms fathers bald patch
And took a big chunk off his head
So he smashed father in gob with his hearing aid
And left her in't jelly half dead

At that the brides mother errupted
Without even excusing herself
And she poked the old fella, with a silver salt cellar
Which wasn't too good for his health

Now the nephews and nieces chucked parkin
And splurted black peas all over t'room
An the in-laws and the out-laws, they battled like buggary
And the brides mother throttled the groom

She were eight foot seven and six foot wide
And arms on her just like a bloke
She'd teeth like the holy commandments
Ten of em - every one broke

Babel Fish Translation

[wellie]

I'd love to stay and chat a while Bubblewrap, but the reason I'm posting these is because they just popped out of my bookcase and there's a Gentle Thought or two coming through? Honestly, I promise, they'll be finished soon so that you can continue?!

[wellie]

And short but sweet today:

The quieter you become the more you can hear.
(Baba Ram Dass)

[scarey55]

Loving that one Wellie although, it doesn't work for me -I can't keep quiet for toffee

[Hazel at the Hill]

Loving that one Wellie although, it doesn't work for me -I can't keep quiet for toffee

Well, I can, but only if it's very sticky toffee.......

[Flummery]

Goes hand in hand with - God gave us two ears and one mouth - to be used in that proportion!

[wellie]

and it's silly to stick toffee in your ears....

[Birdie Wife]

Totally agree with that one. It's like the childrens poem:

Up in the tree sat the wise old owl
The more he heard, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
Now wasn't he a wise old bird?

But I like the version I found carved on a lovely oak table in Budapest, of all places:

"Words are like leaves; where they most abound
The fruit of truth below is rarely found."

Something to mull over!

[moggssue]

and it's silly to stick toffee in your ears....

Wellie, you're going to get me into trouble!! I've just spat coffee allll over my work computer screen!!!

[wellie]

Serves you right moggie - get on with your work......

[moggssue]

But its soooooo quiet Wellie, think everyone has gone home for christmas already!!! Got a tin of Quality Street though - now, which toffee is stickiest?!?

[wellie]

Right now, this is serious business....
Identify all the different sweeties by shape and colour. Lay them all out on your desk, and with your index fingie, slide all the toffee sweeties to one side.
Now, unwrap them, one by one, and put all of them in your mouth at once.

Which one would YOU say?

[moggssue]

Now I cant say anything at all, mouth wont work, teeth stuck together - I'm all toffied up - hope the phone doesnt ring

very yummy though ... think I vote for the big yellow wrappered one!

[wellie]

Don't speak with your mouth full...
Big round one?