Perplexing Questions

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If the plural of mouse is mice, why is the plural of house, houses?

Ah, English is a strange mistress!

Hice is singular! it's wot posh people live in!

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OK a old chestnut What goes up the chimney down but not down the chimney up!

[zebedee]

N'umbrella! How about this = if bricks make walls, what do walls make?

[moggssue]

Sausages!!

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Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

[zebedee]

Sausages!!

Damn, you've heard it

[moggssue]

Sorry Zebedee!!

[HeyWayne]

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

[HeyWayne]

What is the speed of darkness?

[HeyWayne]

Why do round pizzas come in a square box?

[lainey lou]

my brain aches.

[HeyWayne]

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

[HeyWayne]

Did Jesus Christ say "Jesus Christ" when he stubbed his toe?

[HeyWayne]

Here's the list I found:

If man cannot live by bread alone, why are some loaves labelled "whole meal"?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why do most membership organisations issue you with only one handbook when you have two hands?

How do the manufacturers of shaving foam get all those little bubbles into the can without breaking them?

Why does monosyllabic have more than one syllable?

Why is the second hand of a watch or clock so-called? It isn't the second biggest or the second fastest moving, it doesn't measure the second biggest units, and someone must have a new one.

If a kingdom is ruled by a king, an empire is ruled by an emperor and a dictatorship is ruled by a dictator, who rules a country?

Why isn't inflammable the opposite of flammable?

If the future is perfect we should be relaxed and happy about it, so why is the future perfect a tense?

A baseball bat is used to hit a baseball, so is a cricket bat used to hit a cricket (or to swat a grasshopper), a fruit bat to hit a fruit and a wombat to hit a wom? And is a vampire bat a useful weapon in Transylvania?

Is there a reason why the symbol of a bishop is a crook, and the symbol of an archbishop is a double cross?

Do most Christians and Muslims so dislike the naked human body because they think their god made a design error?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

For that matter, why do we say a discharged battery is flat when it is just the same shape as when it was new?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough in the account to pay it?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word lisp?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? (For an answer to that, see my page on The Measurement of Coolth.)

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation, and is the actual suicide a murder?

Can you cry under water?

What level of importance must a person have before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up about every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why is it people ask so many stupid questions?