Proud of my son today

[Seahorse]

My oldest son is autistic and so is very rarely invited out anywhere and until today never at all without family accompaniment. In many ways, I think that's understandable. I know I'd hesitate before agreeing to look after someone else's special needs child (heck, looking after a 'mainstream' child that's not your own can be stressful enough!). This school year though, he has been taught with two autistic boys from the year above him and he's become great friends with one of them (amazing in itself, as he's not a child who seeks or appears to need company). And today, he has been to his friend's house for a whole 90 minutes without me, or anyone else in our immediate circle, to support or supervise him! He was apparantly very well behaved and relatively undemanding and he and his little mate gave each other a big hug when it was time to come home. I'll admit I spent most of those 90 minutes wondering if he was drinking bleach or dropping a priceless family heirloom down the stairs ('just looking') but happily my fears were entirely unfounded

I know it's not much at all in relative terms but I feel very proud of him today.

[Sue]

Seahorse
Can see why you're proud and also how it must have been a very long 90 minutes. Perhaps it's the start of a regular series of outings?
best wishes
Sue

[Alice]

Absolutely brilliant, Seahorse - both for you and your son. A great achievement for you both. Enjoy all your successes. It's not relative, it's absolute. Absolutely brilliant for you both. Best wishes to you.

[smallblueplanet]

I know it's not much at all in relative terms but I feel very proud of him today.

Well it sounds a lot - I hope his success continues.

[Nicos]

Fantastic news!!!
No wonder you're proud of him ( and I bet he and his new pal must be feeling pretty chuffed!)
Bet you can't stop grinning???

[pigletwillie]

And so you should be, give him a hug from me.

[TonyF]

I have a grandson who, at 16 and being severely autistic, lives in Dan-world. He has no communication skills at all, is still in nappies, has to be taken everywhere by wheel chair and is only the size of a 10 year old but with the raging hormones of a teenager.

Seahorse, the whole family group deserves a hug but you're son did good. Give him a pat on the back from me please.

[shirlthegirl43]

Well done Seahorse's eldest son. And well done Seahorse for letting him go - I suspect that is very hard to do. Hugs to you both. Also congrats to the other family for giving your son the opportunity to grow.

[piskieinboots]

90 minutes! That's a full football match!! well done Seahorse Junior

I don't have first hand experience of this but I can imagine how hard it must have been and how proud you are of him. Well done both of you

[HeyWayne]

Not having children myself, let alone children with special needs, it's hard for me to imagine what that must of been like. Suffice to say, I'm pleased for you and your family, and proud, not only of your son, but you for having the courage to let him go. A little self-praise does wonders for the soul! Apparently.

[Flummery]

Our very good friends have an autistic son, now in his 20s. Everything starts with small steps Seahorse. This lad now talks to people (initiating the conversation) works on his Dad's farm part time and works at a plant nursery part time (did a horticulture course) and recently was awarded his Duke of Edinburgh Gold award. He started off uncommunicative, running away on every possible occasion and often sat and rocked gently in his own little world. Your boy has taken an important step - the road can lead anywhere with the support you're giving him. Autism can obviously vary in its severity and Tony's grandson must be so draining to have to care for - I can't say strongly enough how I admire people who give these children (and eventually adults) the love and security to grow up in a difficult world.

Give yourself a pat on the back chuck!

[lainey lou]

Thats Fantastic seahorse and it is a big deal, lets hope it's the first of many fun times for your son and his new mate and hopefully in time you'll learn to relax with and have some "you" time.

[moggssue]

Oh, how brilliant Seahorse and Son!! Well done both of you - I dont have any experience of autism, but I know how nervewracking the first steps on the road to self sufficiency are with 'normal' children so it must have been a hundred times worse for you. COngratulations to both of you, an early christmas present

[scarey55]

Hear hear Flummery,

As many others have said, it must have been so hard to let him go in the first place.

I don't have any first hand experience of Autism but I guess it must be one of the hardest things to be told your child has Autism, then to have to put up with all those people who don't understand why he is "not conforming" but oh, soooo rewarding when something happens like this.
Well done to you and all your family and especially Jr. Seahorse.
Only thing though, does that mean that it is your turn to have his friend round next ?

[Seahorse]

Thanks ever so much for all your kind words! I feel emotional all over again now

It *was* hard to let him go, even though I knew perfectly well that with an autistic child of their own, his friend's family would be well aware of coping strategies for unusual behaviour.

Scarey, we have organised a return visit for after Christmas. I'll have a few more grey hairs afterwards, I should think!