Gardening Jokes..

[Steve(spt)]

..this seemed funny after a glass or two of Tempranillo..

A man went into his local shop and asked the sales assistant “Do you sell potato clocks”?

“Potato clocks sir? I’m not sure what you mean,” replied the sales assistant.

“Well” came the explanation

“I’m always late for work, and my boss said I would get there before nine if I got a potato clock.

[Hazel at the Hill]

'...up at eight o'clock...'

tell me I wasn't the only one to have to think about that one...?

[bubblewrap]

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells,
and don't work half the time.

[scarey55]

'...up at eight o'clock...'

tell me I wasn't the only one to have to think about that one...?

Nope, you weren't

[kentvegplot]

Thank goodness someone else worked it out

[HeyWayne]

A few faves:

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.

What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming.

Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

What is small, red and whispers?
A hoarse radish.

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

Here's a slightly longer one:

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.

One leaned over the other and said, "By 'eck! Life is boring. We never have any fun these days. For Ł5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through the blummin flower show!"

"You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up a five pound note.

As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes, and while completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town
hall.

His friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by a loud roar of applause. The streaker burst back out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. Hurriedly, he ran over to his eager chum.

"Wow, what happened?" asked his friend.

"It was great!" he said, "I won first prize for best dried arrangement!"