Coming home - advice please....!?!?!

[madmax]

I used to be in awe of the lifestyle these people lead.

As was I HW. This lifestyle might look to be a bed of roses, but watch out for the thorns... It is indeed an empty existence. So easy to reside at a bar and get bladdered or start an illicit affair with a local woman - as so many contractors I know have done (as have their wives back home also...).

Sometimes one has to just make a decision and look at the not so immediate effect of their choice.

I think I will come home... And be there for Shirley and the boys. Whether this be in 5 weeks or 12 weeks. I feel the former is best. A local job (doesn't matter what it is) would mean more to my family than all the cash in the bank.

[kirsty b]

Good luck with whatever you decide Max. Being home with Shirley and the boys would never be wrong!

I used to work in a factory meat packing and while I hated it, thought we couldn't do without the money.

I now work part-time as a carer at the local hospital and I really love what I do. Never thought I would be able to afford part-time but we get by ok. I now spend more time with Lauren and Steve than I ever did working full time.

Even now I'm looking at taking the plunge into social care and leaving my comfort zone again as I would like a job a little closer to home (job is 40 mile round trip) so I can work on expanding what skills I have learned so far and try to use the car a lttle less.

[beefy]

Good luck Max with your decision.
Been there working away from home for periods of up to 6 months at a time before now. Got first job driving on the Monday after Valentines day , first time off was 1st June , married 5 June and back to work on 12 June. Next holiday 3 days at halloween and then home again 23 December. Back to work on 2 January to mid Febuary.First year of marrige = 22 days off -what a great start to a mariage.NOT
I was earning well over £800 / week I now earn a lot less but I would not go back to driving full time again. The little trip at the weekends keeps me from thinking that the grass is greener and keeps me in touch with a lot of friends that I made in the 12 Years that i drove full time.
I never expected to become a gardener but knew that an "indoors" job was not for me . As a driver I was told "This has to be there on this date at this time " and was left to get on with it. At the same time if I didn't get the job done the phone started ringing and questions were asked .

If your not happy were you are - its time for a change.
You may not get the ideal job first time round but if you keep an open mind (or a strong back and a weak mind) something will eventually turn up that suits you.
I know it's a big step but once you take it you'll never look back.

[Winged one]

MM, I'd agree with a lot of others for 2 reasons - finishing out your current contract that is.

One - you say it will clear a small debt - that would be hanging over your head otherwise when you are trying to make ends meet. By clearing it now, you will give yourself a little more breathing space in terms of finding work, and also work that is what you want/are qualified in. Or taking your time to find that or taking less well paid options that are better suited than higher paying ones you may feel you "should" take on. IYKWIM.

Secondly - it will give you a breathing space to finish off this chapter and prepare for a new one. You can leave on good terms, but still leave the Dutch job (and the door is left ajar behind you rather than slammed shut). You yourself can make a transition and allow yourself to say farewell to the good friends, remembering the good things etc. And prepare for a new phase - which includes a chance to think out various options and do some research into anything that grabs your fancy during those quiet evenings - checking out resources available for assisting new ideas, looking at your skills from various angles, being able to think plans through in depth (and having headspace to do that - families are great, but they on't allow much "thinking time" usually).

As you say, it is only for a few extra weeks (I know that might seem a lifetime now, but if everyone knows it is finishing, then you will all be able to look forward to celebrating it finishing) and - to me at least - it would seem to make soooo much sense to finish out the current contract and THEN take on new challenges. (And besides which - by waiting until June, the Boys will be just about on hols won't they, so everyone can take a short break together (at home just off, family time kinda thing) at that stage). But (eta) 7 weeks is really not that long in terms of your whole life together as a family, and it might really make a difference to the next few years - the time to clear debt and plan the short and medium term future.

(I also agree that writing is definitely something you should try to look into - you always come across so clearly and well here).

Enjoy your Easter break.
Wings

[gemlady]

The weariness is discernable in your posts, and you are obviously longing to come home to be with your family. Seems you have already made your decision and just wanting confirmation that you have made the right one, but only you know that.

Your family have obviously benefited materially from your job and who knows you could probably find something back over here which pays as well if not better, but in the end you're a husband and a dad and nothing is more important than that. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and can manage to carry on paying the ever increasing bills there is little else of any real importance. Your children will have grown up and be leaving home before you know it, enjoy every moment you can with them. Good Luck.

[madmax]

Thanks Grapes for all your input. I have applied for several jobs in the our local area now. Should any one of these go my way my notice will go in to Ericsson. I am no job snob (used to be) so whether it be a carer or a network engineer I really do not care!

Should nada come my way then I will have to stay put till I find my balaclava and sawn off...

Ericsson are a good crew to be with - the only telecomms company doing well at the moment. They are ethical and can offer fairly good prospects. But I think I have come to the end of this road now Even if I am paid to sit on my botty surfing the net, looking at 17 screens for 8 hours at a time!



In any event, come June 30th I will be home again. For good. Even if we have to flog the house...!!

[shirlthegirl43]

Do I detect the Vine on the bottom left screen there dear?

[scarey55]

Good call Shirley

[kirsty b]

Well spotted Shirley!

[madmax]

Do I detect the Vine on the bottom left screen there dear?

Can't I do a thing w/out getting found out? This was only 1/2 the NMC (a temp one)

[Mrs Dobby]

Good luck Madmax, sounds like you've made a sound decision after a lot of thought, I hope it all works out for you, Shirl and the sprogs!

I know myself that if it came to a choice between Mr D and my career, then Mr D would win hands down, even tho I really enjoy my job!

[shirlthegirl43]

An update for anyone who was wondering...

I am currently in Holland - we packed the car tonight, bought half a supermarket worth of chocomel and bier, and catch the ferry tomorrow afternoon. One flying visit to help Madmax with his return to home and family.

Wahey - one very happy Shirlthegirl!!

[Seahorse]

Oh! Pass the hanky!

Great news!!!!

[piskieinboots]

I was athunking of you guys this arvo and you have answered me - I am so so pleased you are both well and happy

[janeyo]

My OH rememebers his dad working away a lot, and being too knackered to play and do anything with him when he was home. I think that's terrible to not have any positive memories of your father. He doesn't rememebr him playing with him or taking him anywhere or doing father and son things. My dad used to take us all over whether we liked it or not!

Children's childhood goes so quickly.

He is determined not to be the same kind of dad and sacrifices have to be made accordingly.

janeyo