Cats and bad owners

[Geo]

by Roger McGough


Midnight. A knock at the door.
Open it? Better had.
Three heavy cats, mean and bad.

They offer protection. I ask, ‘What for?’
The Boss-cat snarls, ‘You know the score.
Listen man and listen good

If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood,
Pay your dues or the toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall.

Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
a smelly minefield awaits you at dawn.’
These guys meant business without a doubt

Three cans of tuna, I handed them out.
They then disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.
__________________

Geo..

[Paulottie]

I really had no idea people hated cats so much!

Pas du touts Nicos (can only speak for myself of course) I am quite fond of cats- it is just they don't suit my life here in the country where I love the birds, slow worms, fish and frogs. plus my chickens and guinea pigs. I do hate irresponsible pet owners though.

Good find Geo -Love Roger McGough's work.

[petal]

Good grief, I think some people are taking things too literally on this thread, I am sure no one wants to hurt cats! Just their owners - joking!!...I think (some) people treat cats the same as they do their children - keep them in and entertain them whilst they are cute and cuddly and happily clean up after them, then when they become more loud, larger and objectionable(and not so cuddly) they kick 'em out as part of a gang on the streets to do what they will. By the way I have kids and a 6 month old kitten - my kids do not wander the streets making a nuisance of themselves and nor will our cat - we love her and can't bear the idea of her getting run over so outside time will be limited. sue is spot on in what she says.

[srodders]

but this one doesn't like my cat!

Easy, let the cat "roam" elsewhere and everyones happy - except maybe the person whose garden the cat ends up in, but heyy, you've got a dog now, so what do you care!!

[janeyo]

I'm a bit soft and would have to keep taking it back. I would feel so guilty if the one time I shouted at it and shoved it back it got hit by a car.

Maybe it just likes your garden because you don't shout at it?!

janeyo

[SarzWix]

I know, promised myself one as soon as I gave up work, but this one doesn't like my cat!

Sarzwix, that's a good suggestion as long as the dog warden did a 'found wandering on the street' lecture to them, they know where I live

I know why she comes back, first visit was last summer when we had a day time party, house and garden full of food and drink - dog paradise

No worries there Nell, they won't say it was you reporting if you ask them not to. I know dog wardens get a bad name, but usually they do it because they like dogs not the other way round. Or try the RSPCA, they will do the same thing - bit of a lecture about the law, but the dog warden is more likely to have the time to do it

[nelliegemini]

I'm a bit soft and would have to keep taking it back. I would feel so guilty if the one time I shouted at it and shoved it back it got hit by a car.

Maybe it just likes your garden because you don't shout at it?!

janeyo

I think the party had something to do with it, lots of drooling people shoving food at her and making a big fuss (ooos a lovely dog then, oo is, 'es oo are) - probably thinks it's worth a try every now and then, never know your luck in a raffle!

But I couldn't just shove it over the wall and trust to luck - will try the secret warden route - I understand the law has changed recently and the council deal with strays now, will double check.

[Paulottie]

Indeed the police no longer deal with strays. its the council...so probably only every other week then!

[nelliegemini]

Indeed the police no longer deal with strays. its the council...so probably only every other week then!

... and only if the collar's the right colour and the mouth firmly closed.

[Alison]

Therefore if it can be proved that someone has left a Cat outside while they are at work they can be seen to be abandoned in the context of the above...

If you use a cat being outside as proof that's it's been abandonned then presumably you're going to be on the phone to the NSPCC every time you see a child playing outside as by your argument, this must be a sign of bad parenting!!!!!

[Shortie]

... or in the same context as what Alison's saying, when people go to Tescos and leave their dogs in the house alone does that mean the owner is abandoning their dog???

Going back to what Sue said about being advised to keep cats indoors - okay, agreed some cats really aren't 'built' for being outdoors - Siamese is one, they're just not outdoor-wise cats usually. But it goes to show how differing the advise can be as Battersea won't rehome a cat if you don't have a cat flap

[SarzWix]

I don't "leave my cat outside" at all, he takes himself out & gets himself back in! If he was outside all day, that would be his choice. Last year my neighbour was having trouble with cat mess in his garden (although he said he didn't think it was my cat), so I bought him a 'Super Soaker' water pistol and told him to fill it with cold water & a splash of vinegar & he should squirt my cat with it whenever he saw him. It only took a couple of squirts, and my cat skirts his garden completely (on his way to the field) now - they don't like being wet & the smell of vinegar makes the cat think he's being sprayed by a tom so they steer clear. Alternatively, you could use your own urine...
Simple solution, doesn't hurt the cat, deters them from your garden and you get the satisfaction of 'shooting' (squirting) them.

[nelliegemini]

Sarzwiz - lovely, rational advice. My neighbour has two cats and has trained them not to jump on worksurfaces by hiding behind a door and having a squirt, it works a treat and they never jump up. When my cat went missing a couple of years ago, one man up the road was very defensive and admitted to have turned the hose on the cat, then also admitted he hadn't seen him since! I said I had no problem with that - and I don't, it worked for him and the cat knows to avoid that garden.

(Stupid moggie had got caught in the garage of someone who used her car once a week! Came home safe and sound and a little slimmer, but no more sensible)

[Paulottie]

It only took a couple of squirts, and my cat skirts his garden completely Alternatively, you could use your own urine...
you get the satisfaction of squirting them.

I'm afraid I'm Gettting Older now...I'm not sure I have the range to p*ss on a cat.

[nelliegemini]

I'm afraid I'm Gettting Older now...I'm not sure I have the range to p*ss on a cat.

I think you have to let them get really close, and hope it's not one of those cats that swipes at things