what happened ...... to time?

[garygc2008]

I don't have any kids yet, neither can i preach about a busy working lifestyle at the moment, ( but for goodness sake please let me find something soon!! ), but does anyone else feel that life has lost its balance of worklife and social life? do we really have time to fit everything in? with rising costs on such basic of foodstuffs ( except what were growing of cause ), both parents working just to make odd's end. I'd just like to know what you all think. who's to blame?

for example: I've been single pretty much all my life so far, and i havn't got hope in hells chance of mortgage etc. I'm 27 and still at home ( ) , unemployed, single and trying to remain calm for medical reasons ........ and thats my moan over.

When i've got work, i'm stressed, but don't have money worries, but also don't have time for anything else. When i'm not employed, I'm skint, struggling with bills and have all the time in the world........ maybe i'm doing something wrong.

[Claire72]

part of the problem I think is that nothing in life is easy any more, when we shop we need to consider the environmental impact of all we buy, as well as the cost, the amount of salt, sugar and fat in the ingredients, not only that, but have we got it all in one shop for the best value, as we can't afford the fuel to return to the shop for the missed items.
That is just shopping.
When we relax in the house, should we be watching this, or that? have we got all unnecessary electrical appliances switched off, can we turn the heating down another degree, have we had enough exercise today?
At work, are we dressed appropriately, are we there early enough, can we remember this weeks (or minutes) target and are we still reaching the ones from previous weeks, have we read the latest literature, spoken to the right person today and is our snack/lunch healthy and politically correct enough?

There is never really a moment any more to switch off and be comfortable in doing so, if you have kids it is even worse as you are constantly bombarded with the guilt of working and leaving them in someone elses care, (is it the best care they can get, are they safe etc) then are we feeding them correctly, are they being well enough educated, are we talking to them enough, appropriately, in an educationally sound way...... are they well enough disciplined, are they healthy, well dressed (whatever that may be) Do they have access to a broad and balanced diet, and outdoor curriculum? It goes on and on and on. No wonder everyone is nuts!!!! (apart from me, I'm the sane one!!!)

Sorry, rant over, I'll be quiet now, but that is one of my pet grumbles

[garygc2008]

I guess really, what my question should be is: what's wrong with a simple life? why is there such pressure to conform? there's just so much pressure for the most simplest things. Another of my pet hates is certification for EVERYTHING! another rant for another time. Sorry, one of those days ....

[bubblewrap]

My main grouse the PC brigade they seem to have taken over the country.

[Seahorse]

I guess really, what my question should be is: what's wrong with a simple life?

Nothing at all.

I think it's desperately hard for young, single people to live that way though. A 'simple life' became inevitable for me as a consequence of having a special needs child and becoming a lone parent (of four). I don't have to work outside the home (though I do take exception to the notion that I don't work!) so I try my best to grow what I can, shop carefully and live relatively frugally and responsibly. As a consequence, I feel my life is enriched, not deprived.

Easy for me to say though! Good luck Gary, you don't have to join the rat race to be happy.

[garygc2008]

My main grouse the PC brigade they seem to have taken over the country.

Very true. I tried the I.T approach and found it so strange that you go into work at 8:00 and stare at a computer for hours on end. I feel the need to do a job that makes me feel like i'm still in touch with civilisation, do you know what i mean? I used to be a web developer, great money when you can get it, but it certainly gave me a reality check. I'ts really hard to put into words what i mean. I used to do the work required and come home thinking i hadn't done anything, does that make sense?

[garygc2008]

Easy for me to say though! Good luck Gary, you don't have to join the rat race to be happy.

It's not that i don't want to work, don't get me wrong. I need to work, we all do in our own ways, be it family based, life based or PAYE basis, life would be boring without it. But i do wonder if we should work to live, or live to work.

[kirsty b]

At the moment I can honestly say that I'm pretty happy with my work/life balance.
I work 22.5hr (works out 3 days) a week at the hospital as a HCA which is a job I love. I find it rewarding, interesting and bloody stressful at times but the good outweighs the bad, especially as I work with a great team.
For extra dosh I have a cleaning job I do a couple of nights a week at a local firm for 1.5hr per evening.
With 2 jobs I still have time to go down the allotment, walk the dogs, cook dinner/housework etc. Some days though I'll say sod the housework and sit on the couch with a cuppa tea and a good book for the morning.

I hope you find some way that works for you soon Gary.

[piskieinboots]

part of the problem I think is that nothing in life is easy any more....

was it ever?
and wouldn't easy be boring and taking for granted?

......Another of my pet hates is certification for EVERYTHING! ....

Are you trying to migration to Australia

[MrsC]

think it's what you consider important in your life and what you take the most enjoyment from if you know what i mean

[garygc2008]

piskieinboots : If only! not now, but as a family unit years ago, but points, certs and experience. I learnt a long time ago it was out of my reach. Leat alone now i'm older.

Mrsc2b : I guess one of my main problems is i need to find that. We all need a goal don't we.

[Flummery]

People have fairly unreaslistic expectations these days - I grew up without central heating, a car, initially a TV, a fridge etc. Everyone else was in the same boat. We didn't have a Jones to keep up with. Life was hard - Dad worked at work, Mam worked at home. When she had an hour or so to spare she would knit us clothes and my aunty - useless knitter but gifted seamstress, would make the dresses etc. Everyone did it. Dad grew veg, Ma made bread, jam etc. Not a rural idyll - a council estate on the edge of Manchester.
Now we work longer hours to make the money to buy the services we used to do at home (when we didn't have the money!) You can still do this, though it isn't an obvious choice these days. I worked part time. Someone asked wouldn't I be pleased if they doubled my salary. I said yes, because then I could half my working hours! They couldn't believe that I wasn't out for the maximum cash but just wanted enough and the time to do my own thing.
There is room for people who choose to buck the trend and go for a simpler life. You just have to get used to the funny looks!

Best of luck, garygc2008, I hope things work out for you soon.

[HeyWayne]

I don't think procrastination is a human instinct (well, not in most cases), we therefore feel like we're getting less from life if we don't fill it.

The more time we have, the more we want to do. It's why so many "time saving" devices have been invented and sold successfully during the past 30-40 years - possibly longer. The problem with these devices is that they create more time to do other things.

I also think that lots of people worry that if others see them not filling their lives, that they may be seen as unachieving, or at worst, failures.

This weekend, we had nothing planned on Saturday and it felt awful, like we were "wasting" time....

Mad innit?

[lainey lou]

This weekend, we had nothing planned on Saturday and it felt awful, like we were "wasting" time....

Mad innit?

I know exactly what you mean, I do 20-24hrs a week nursing, usually over 2 night shifts at the weekend and I see clients for reiki/reflexology 0-10 hrs a week. I do most of the housework/shopping/ childcare etc, am active on the PTA and pretty much do the lottie on my own (not moaning about OH, he does as much as he can with full time job, 2 hrs daily commute, OU degree, school govener and looking after kids while I work etc...) but I still feel bad if I'm not "doing" something to the point at which I feel stressed about it!! Silly really, I used to make time to meditate but my whole spiritual side has gone out of the window the past few months since my Nan got really ill and I just feel the need to be grounded, think thats why I want to be doing all the time.

[Winged one]

It does feel a little like a rat on a wheel at times doesn't it.

I am currently working on Christmas - I have decided that, as I have 8 aunts and uncles on my dad's side that need nothing, I am knitting each of them a scarf so all getting the same but colours to suit each one and a different pattern to each and all done by me. Not something everyone would appreciate but these will. Something to while away the time in that hour watching tv in the evenings.

I also often have people gaping at me when I say what time we get up. We are both up at 6.30am, so that we can drop the toddler at creche at 8, I have a swim a few times a week on the way to work (OH usually drops the toddler while I collect her in the evenings) but I am in before 9 which means I can leave about 4.30/5pm and not feel guilty (once my work is done) - this means I miss the worst of rush hour traffic, the toddler travels with us everyday so we at least have chat times, and we have an extra 30-60 mins at home before her bedtime.

We have never been huge "going out" people - especially not to pubs for a night drinking. But it does feel as though we are really out of step with "modern Ireland" in that respect and a lot of people can't understand why we don't see the need for cable tv and lots of other "conveniences", and those who know I have a lottie - most of them think I've totally lost the plot (pun not totally intended!!)