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  • The 11th husband

    A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to 'Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin'.

    'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times.?'

    'Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

    'Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

    'Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

    ' Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, .he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

    'Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

    'Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

    'Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

    'Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

    'Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

    ' Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector ; all he ever did was.......... God I miss him.

    ' But now that I've married you, I'm so excited'.

    'Wonderful', said the husband, 'but why?

    'You're with the 'GOVERNMENT'..
    This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED.'
    A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

    BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

    Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


    What would Vedder do?

  • #2
    Brilliant. Thanks Wayne.

    PS - do you ever get any work done?
    Happy Gardening,
    Shirley

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by shirlthegirl43 View Post
      Brilliant. Thanks Wayne.

      PS - do you ever get any work done?
      I'm a rare breed of male.
      A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

      BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

      Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


      What would Vedder do?

      Comment


      • #4
        Love it!! As ever Wayne!!
        Life may not be the party we hoped for but since we're here we might as well dance

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by shirlthegirl43 View Post
          Brilliant. Thanks Wayne.

          PS - do you ever get any work done?
          without meaning to start a pick on wayne day but....was wondering that very same thing!!
          the fates lead him who will;him who won't they drag.

          Happiness is not having what you want,but wanting what you have.xx

          Comment


          • #6


            Whilst doing that I had exported some data from our database into excel ready for an emailing, replied to emails from my German colleagues (who I'm not very popular with at the moment), just signed off some invoices, proof read some Germish translation document they'd sent me with invites for Euro 2008, I'm now looking to book flights to Germany, LadyWayne just called to let me know what we're doing tonight, I sent an email to a friend who designs hats to see if she could sort me out with something for holiday.

            And now someone wants a logo sent to them.

            I might get back to the job I started out doing this morning in a minute....

            I have four arms too by the way, which helps.
            A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

            BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

            Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


            What would Vedder do?

            Comment


            • #7
              wow!!,,!
              the fates lead him who will;him who won't they drag.

              Happiness is not having what you want,but wanting what you have.xx

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by HeyWayne View Post


                replied to emails from my German colleagues (who I'm not very popular with at the moment),
                because I sent them a joke, destined for the grapevine, last week instead....
                Tammy x x x x
                Fine and Dandy but busy as always

                God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done


                Stay at home Mum (and proud of it) to Bluebelle(8), Bashfull Bill(6) and twincesses Pea & Pod (2)!!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Can you believe a flight from Stansted to Dusseldorf on the 5th of June is €450 and the exact same flight 2 weeks later is €94. Madniss!
                  A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                  BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                  Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


                  What would Vedder do?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    very good, must copy and paste and send to my hubby !! thanks

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      great again wayne!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        A friend of mine came round who works for the Sector Skills Council for Construction [ie CITB] this afternoon; and kept this open to show her. As you are from a construction background, you'll appreciate the relevance hopefully!

                        It'll be doing the rounds there tomorrow.

                        Cheers HW; another fine posting on the Vine.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Loved that Wayne - made Scared and me laugh out loud. I've pinched it and sent it on, as I do with most of your funnies.
                          Thank you
                          A garden is a lovesome thing, God wot! (Thomas Edward Brown)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Brilliant HetWayne. Just where do you get them !

                            From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by zazen999 View Post
                              A friend of mine came round who works for the Sector Skills Council for Construction [ie CITB] this afternoon; and kept this open to show her. As you are from a construction background, you'll appreciate the relevance hopefully!

                              It'll be doing the rounds there tomorrow.

                              Cheers HW; another fine posting on the Vine.
                              I'm supposed to be looking into CSCS cards - might have to have a chat...
                              A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                              BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                              Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


                              What would Vedder do?

                              Comment

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