Forgot an Exam!!!

[BarleySugar]

I phoned my oldest son today at uni. I'd tried on Wed, but he had his phone turned off, to wish him luck in his exam the next day. I haven't managed to get through until today, when he told me he'd missed the exam! He said it should have been Friday, but was moved to Thurs, and he wasn't told. I know he'd told me Thursday originally, but he won't have it.
He's always had problems with organisation, it's part of the dyslexia etc, or so I was told when he was at secondary school, but this is the worst thing he's ever mucked up. He didn't do as well as hoped in his A levels, so they took him in on a foundation course, now it looks as if this has gone pear shaped too.
I'm worried sick now, he doesn't know if he'll be able to carry on, do a resit or what. Problem is, now he's coming up for 20, he's supposed to be able to manage his life, and we aren't supposed to be needed! I asked him what he's done about it, but he said no one would tell him what he could do, if anything. No one would talk to me even if I tried, he's an adult! So he's coming home, no job, not knowing if he can go back and still asking if he can borrow £800 to pay for next year's accomodation in Aug. (Eglu cube )
I'm just feeling totally gutted, but I can't see what I could have done, and it looks as if there's not a lot I can do now, except feed him and give him somewhere to sleep while he tries to sort stuff out.
I did see they are short of strawberry pickers, so I've emailed to find out about that as a short term job, while he tries to find something else!

[shirlthegirl43]

Oh bugger!!! It is my constant worry with our elder son - can't organise himself to get up and out the door at 17! He nearly missed an AS exam just a couple of weeks ago and no dyslexia here (that has been diagnosed anyhoo). Hope it can all be sorted out to everyone's satisfaction! Best of luck

[BarleySugar]

When he was at college he had a phone call to say he should be in the exam, and they let him start late, but the special needs person was so helpful there. At uni, if you don't do it yourself, no one else will, and I couldn't get through on the phone

[shirlthegirl43]

Our elder son keeps misplacing his phone. It is just as well I had an idea that he had an exam. He went to normal lesson and wondered where everyone was, finally decided to go see - just in time for the exam!!

[Alison C]

Oh dear that sounds bad.
Universities normally have an exam page on their internet web site that students are supposed to check regularly to make sure of exam dates and to check for changes, if so your son will not have a case for mitigation which would inable him to do a reffered exam in August or whenever the university does their reffers. However, if the changes were not advertised and were passed on by word of mouth then he should be entitled to sit a reffered exam.

As your son has been diagnosed with organisation problems as a result of his dyslexia was he not entitled to help at university ie a tutor that would help him keep organised?

[BarleySugar]

I'm not even sure it was changed, he'd told me Thurs originally, but it seems he got it into his head it was Fri, so as it was Thurs, for him, they must have changed it, not him got it wrong! He was supposed to see the learning support people when he first started there, and they are supposed to be good, it was one of the reasons for choosing this uni, but whether he really went to see them, I don't know. There were a number of things he should have been able to access, and we filled out all the forms before he went, but his ability to follow things up is not great if they don't chase. Once they are out of your 'control' it's pretty much like working in the dark, and I don't think he gives us the full picture either.

[pjh75]

There is always something that can be done, isn't there a lecturer that he (or you) can speak to and explain the situation... surely they will want to help sort things out rather than lose a student.

[Nicos]

He should be able to retake the exam module next year or at the end of the summer hols, although I imagine it will be capped at 40%
If he is doing a course which is very practical then he may already have passed the course on points already gained.
You need to phone the Uni in the morning. They will explain what is possible.

As he is dyslexic, they should require his written/spoken permission to talk with you.
If you explain he is dyslexic and will need you to help sort/explain things they may well explain in general terms rather than specifically.
The special needs department should be there for you as well as him.
Don't worry- he's not the first one who has missed an exam!
It might be a bit of a wake up call for him.
I'm sure he'll be allowed to continue
Let us know how you get on

[Alice]

What a shame Barley Sugar. I don't know what the answer is. All I know is in my day they didn't hand out degrees to people who needed any help with anything - you could do it by yourself or sink or swim.
And I'm not sure what use a degree is to anybody who can't keep track of the days, or needs help with writing or spelling etc. I think that's why we have so many unemployed graduates. They have degrees in obscure subjects they got with somebody holding their hand but can't turn up on time or do anything by themselves when they get there.
I'm not having a go at you or your son. I do sympathise with your position. What I would suggest is you have a long, hard think about what is best for your son. A degree is not the be all and end all in this world. He might be much more successful somewhere else.
Electricians around here seem to charge £100 per hour. But they do have to turn up at the right time on the right day.
I hope it all works out well.
Sometimes you just have to give them a free reign and let them work it out for themselves. That means they take responsibility for their own actions - including where their next meal is coming from. It's hard, but it works.

[vicky]

When I was at uni they would let students take resits in the summer hols, don't know if it's capped like Nicos said but it would enable him to continue his course.

[squashysu]

BS

Another day in the worry as life as a parent, its true what they say, that we all need our parents even in our 40's, i know i would be lost without my mum, so would my sister who at 38 got the wrong day for flying back to UK from USA, due to the time difference she was early instead of late (thank goodness), this is a woman who travelled around the world 2 years ago backpacking and still cant get flight times correct!!!!

I so hope he gets to resit the exam, if just for your piece of mind and so that his time hasnt been wasted!

SS

[Two_Sheds]

It would be odd if he really knew nothing about the correct date ... did he not talk to his fellow students? Surely everyone would have been talking about the exam, or was he not going to lectures?
Perhaps he was worried he wouldn't pass, so "forgot" to go.

If so, you may have to try some tough love. It's a parent's job to make their children into independent adults, not to sort out all their problems for them.

[heebiejeebie]

I'm sure he'll be able to resit. Students miss exams (or fail them!) for all sorts of reasons and there are usually resits in the summer.

[TonyF]

Barley Sugar, we have a severely disabled grandson at Uni and your son doesn't have to do it all himself.

After 25 years dealing with this sort of thing at LSE, Jenny says he should see his tutor IMMEDIATELY and speak to him/her, explain the situation and ask for a resit.

When my son's marriage fell apart when he was at Uni a couple of years ago, he missed two exams and they helped him no end.

[jackie j]

I really feel for you barley sugar its not easy when they are away and as parents you never stop worrying about your kids no matter what age they are.
I hope he is able to resit his exam.
All you can do is be there for him.
Good luck trying to untangle the problem.