The killings in Carshalton

[NSB]

Advice please:

I only live 5 mins round the corner from the children that were killed in Carshalton. I've never met them but my friend and I wanted to take some flowers round to the house. (I dont know why but we feel we want to as it has really shocked us it has so many people)

Is it a good idea the right thing to do? advice please, we thought we might go tomorrow late in the evening when hopefully there are no people around.

[hooraynana]

I realise i may be unpopular saying this , but i feel laying floral tributes to people is wasteful , when people have died in roadside accidents the selophane etc gets left wrapped round a lampost and looks an eyesore and is dangerous to small animals when it flies away.
I can appreciate you feel upset and hurt by this, especially being so close to your home.- Why not do something that eveyone can appreciate , plant a tree in a public space near by or perhaps a plant or shrub ?
The thought then grows and is not dead and wasteful.
x

[Seahorse]

I can appreciate the above point about cut flowers and wrappings being 'wasteful' but on the other hand, what price bringing even a tiny shred of comfort to those left behind after such a horrific event?

All I know of this is what I've read on the BBC online but I would think an expression of your sympathy, in whatever form, would hopefully be a gesture appreciated by anyone who might need it.

[Claire72]

I agree with both replies, you could save the future 'eyesore' part by removing the cellophane from the flowers, but it is a good idea to lay something, to express your sympathy

[Pootle]

A posy of handpicked flowers from your garden would be a more personal gesture...

I personally wouldn't ever lay flowers for someone I didn't know - but I can understand why you might want to. Whatever happened in this case - its a tragedy for the family involved and my heart goes out to them

I think those roadside tributes are particularly sad and I know that if I had lost a loved one in that way the last thing I would want would be to be reminded by a bunch of mouldy old flowers and green teddies every time I passed the site of the accident.

[piskieinboots]

Roadside tributes do no good for anyone at all - the dead person cannot see them, the family and friends have to be reminded of the place of death every time they pass by and the rest of 'us' just feel sad for no real reason because we did not know the person. Bad idea, yet again, from the States I believe!

The family and friends can visit a grave side should they wish to remember - that is the proper and only place for floral tributes.

Pootle's 'hand picked posy' is a good option

[Two_Sheds]

I also don't like those seas of plastic wrapping (you can't actually see the flowers, can you?)
On environmental grounds, they're a disaster.
I think a card sent to the grieving father might be more personal and more appropriate, myself.

[HeyWayne]

I'm not particularly good at grieving - I'm a right state at the funeral, but don't hold on after that. Not one for visiting graves, don't see the point, but I understand why people do.

Not keen on roadside tributes myself.

Just do what you feel is right.

[Headfry]

Roadside tributes.....I don't like to see all the plastic wrappings, flowers are ok. My lovely young Brother-in-Law was killed on the roads last year. Just a few flowers were taken to the spot.
One thing, It does surely serve to remind us to drive with care every time was pass one of these very sad flower tributes.
I love the tree idea, or why not dedicate a bird feeder and food?
It's all very very sad.

[mapcr77]

[QUOTE=Headfry;236096]
I love the tree idea, or why not dedicate a bird feeder and food?
QUOTE]

That's a good idea, or maybe even setting up a bird box in a nearby tree? And sort of make a tribute by encouraging the formation of new life (i.e. baby birds)?

Not too keen on floral tributes either. I think they are ok (sans plastic) if you actually knew the person and hand the flowers personally.

[NOG]

Rather than increasing the florists profit why not give a few quid to a local charity.