I Sit Next to Gasbag Bess

[Shortie]

Now, by nature I'm not a rude or confrontational sort of person, so I can't face being rude to the person next to, but she drives me potty. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice person, friendly, caring etc... but where do you draw the line at work at personal space etc?

The alarm bell first rang when I came back off maternity leave and sat at my desk to hear "thank goodness another female at the desk" ..... uh-oh.

So today as an example before I've sat down at my desk I get "how was your journey in?" Friendly I agree. "Did you get wet?".. okay, I just want to get on with my work now. It might seem impatient of me from what I've written but I get this every single darned day. The next was "what have you got for breakfast?" - can't you see... a bacon sandwich or are you thinking I might be hiding a cheese burger and fries in there?

I managed to dodge that many (and I mean many) comments made out loud designed to attract my attention so she can talk to me for 10-15 while my deadline ticks away.I come back from lunch - "did you get wet?".'No'.. "What have you got for lunch?" .... 'Ummmmm porridge....' and so it goes on allllllll day. It drives me potty.

She'll start talking about a financial product, nice and work related, and end up talking about when she was the only person on a bus in Singapore and the lovely lady on the bus told her what stop she needed and how language never need be a barrier. That's after some how squeezing in that her Mum was premature, etc, etc, etc

Argh! How do you *politely* deal with someone like that?????

[Mikey]

Earphones, even if they are not plugged in.

[Shortie]

Yes, now you see in my old team they were allowed, but they're not allowed here... I might as my boss for special consessions though. He knows how bad it is, everyone who's sat next to her has asked to move but there's nowhere to move to now, and she's not in his team so he can't pull her up about it (and how do you kindly deal with that kind of thing anyway? Really, she's only being friendly, if not also totally destracting)

[lottie dolly]

she sounds like a very lonley person

[Mikey]

I think the best thing to do is carry on, and give the odd uhhu. Then every so often say I'm sorry I didn't catch that, but not stopping. Hopefully she will get the picture you are a very busy lass.

[Rhona]

Oh dear. I'm completely hopeless with this sort of thing. I cannot stand the idea of hurting someone's feelings or upsetting someone (something I take to ridiculous extremes) but I imagine how you're simmering, and whatever she says is going to wind you up.

Could you say that your boss has reprimanded you gently for not getting on with work or something (your boss could be in on that), and you really need to be careful about being caught chattering away? It's a bit of a white lie though I suppose - unless you COULD get your boss to tell you off as a favour!

My sister worked with someone like that and it drove her bonkers, but she's as pathetic as me and would never say anything out loud. She just spent months screaming silently inside her own mind, and going slowly mad with frustration. Work eh?

[ailsasyl]

politely point out you've work to do and will chat to her in the break and yumm make a quick escape at lunchtime!!

[HeyWayne]

Start chanting every time she starts talking. Then just laugh for no apparent reason and grab at the air. Soon she'll asked to be moved.

[Rhona]

Start chanting every time she starts talking. Then just laugh for no apparent reason and grab at the air. Soon she'll asked to be moved.

That's so much better than my idea. Ignore mine.

Also, try repeating the following conversation 10 times to her: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

Babble incoherently at her then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

Make her a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist as you put them down.


I don't go to work anymore.

[quark1]

You say your boss is well aware of the problem but this person does not work for him.

Surely if her presence is causing your boss a problem regarding necessity to keep moving people away from her workstation, can he not go to her boss, explain the problem and get the other fellow to sort it?

Surely that is a management task?

[SarzWix]

Put your fingers in your ears and chant "La-la, not listening" Works for me with the kids

No, seriously though, if you're anything at all like me, it's best to do something before it all gets too much & you burst out with something awful
Try "Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm rubbish at working and chatting at the same time, and I've sooo got to get this job finished by ___ or I'm in trouble, so don't mind if I just ignore you for a bit" And then utterly ignore her, invest in some proper earplugs if you have to. So long as you're reasonably polite in break times, there's nothing insulting there? I expect your boss would ok the earplugs for a few days if you're not listening to music, just blocking sound?

[Two_Sheds]

Wear earphones. They don't have to be plugged into anything, just look as if they are.

At some point, whatever you do, she will take offence that you aren't chatting to her all day. Offend her straight away and get it over with!

[zazen999]

Make her a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist as you put them down.

Got to be my fave so far. Still giggling to myself about this one.

There's all sorts of ways of doing it but I am afraid that some people just have no self-awareness and can't read body language.

Various suggestions - apologising for not being able to multitask; or asking 'in what context' to every question that she'll soon get bored, or wear the headphones but make sure she can SEE they are not plugged in; or just come right out and say that you come to work to work, and you leave the social stuff for home - nothing personal but you need to concentrate and can't cope with too much chatting.

You can always make a joke of it and say - 'you thought you were getting a female, and you got the only female in the world that doesn't like chatting about stuff - talk about irony'.

Personally, I'd just say - look I am a really sarcastic person and will just annoy you with my sarcastic remarks back at you so if you don't want to be offended, don't give me any sarcasm opportunities and we'll be fine. I come here to work and work I shall. I don't mind a little chat but I really need to get on - I'll make you a cuppa at 11 if I can get some peace and quiet in between.

And as soon as the work chat goes her way - and it will - just look at your watch and say ' aargh' and get back to work.

[di]

suppose it's too late to pretend you don't speak english?!

[Snadger]

It's all part of the rich tapestry of life...........stop bitching about her and learn to live harmoniously!