Reactions to Your Lottie and How You Deal With Them?

[Shortie]

I was wondering, of those of you who have allotments, what are the reactions you recieve and if they're a bit negative how do you deal with them?

I mean, I'm used to the "you're not in the pipe and slippers era yet, and anyway you're a female" looks I get, but the negative ones of "do you have the time?"

For ages I've brushed them off, but I feel they've sown a seed and I'm starting to cave in. I'm 99% certain I'm going to give up my 2nd plot at the end of this year as I don't think I have the time, but I've started to wonder if I should give up my first too . At any chance my Mum and Dad squeeze in 'but Kat, do you really think you have time for an allotment? What about your housework/life/ phasal alignment of the moon coupled with the direction of the breeze. It gets in the way' I'm suprised they didn't blame the fact I over cooked the bacon last weekend on the allotment

Most recently, my big Sis was talking about starting up a wedding card making service when she's off having her baby and it made me feel wistful and want to do the same (I was going to do this 6 years ago but ended up not having the guts to follow it through). Now whenever I meantion how lovely it would be if I started the idea up again it's 'but you have an allotment you won't have time' or why not grow in the back garden and give up the lottie so you can do the cards' or most recent stab was (in reply to me not wanting to give up the garden for veggies as the garden had no colour when I did it before and not enough space) "but you hardly have any flowers in your garden anyway. Is that because the lottie takes up too much time?"

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. You know when you hear something sooooooooo many times from different people that it starts to become your own thoughts too, against every bone in your body? The only person I don't get it from is Mr Shortie.

So, what reactions do you get from people and how do you deal with them?

[tootles]

Most people disapproved of us moving here (you must be mad, what about the children, the language, money etc) But it is our life and it is what makes us happy.
Stand your ground Shortie. Did your mother never tell you that two wrongs don't make right? (well lots of wrong people don't make them right!!!)
Personally I would tell them all to bog off - but I get the feeling that you are somewhat more diplomatic than me!!!

[HeyWayne]

YouTube - Siobhan Donaghy - Don't Give It Up

[Winged one]

Parents seem to know just how to get a dig in, don't they.

I now live quite a long way from mine (moved for work, and to where they both actually grew up!). We don't have much time to go visitng them, but that is as much because of EVERYTHING going on in our lives (both work long hours, toddler, I swim, OH wants to get back running, keeping house, doing my gran's garden - oh yeah, there's a quarter plot involved there too).

What is it all blamed on though? The plot.

And to be honest, even the times that we do find a window in our schedules and plan to head down, more often than not it's scuppered either by one of our families needing us to do something (provide beds, mind other relatives, or just general jobs) or by my folks in particular having such a hectic social life that they won't be there (and I then get a guilt trip for only coming down on weekends that they are away so only seeing the IL's).

So I just can't win. And now I don't bother. I do my own thing and try to fit them in around it as much as I can. But I enjoy the plot, as does OH when he goes (although he really sees it as my thing and the toddler doesn't hugely enjoy it just at the moment so I tend to go alone) and we all enjoy the fresh veg out of it. And both of our families were very happy to take some of my spare seedlings earlier in the year.


In your case, if you want to do some cards, they are something that might work very well for winter and leave you free in the summer (with your stockpile ready for sales). If you really think you need to give up one plot, do, but only give up 2 if it suits YOU and Mr Shortie. You are the ones who matter.

[di]

We've got a couple of friends who are always having little "digs" about how lottie takes too much of our time & we're turning boring as we can't dedicate every w/e to what they consider "family activities"~in our opinion the lottie has become a family activity & now there's more families there with similarly aged children they have fun too!
I did start to feel a bit guilty when D was always late handing in her w/e homework,until her teacher pointed out just how much she was learning from the lottie & how valuable that is.Ash(4)was just outside impressing our neighbour with how much he already knows~which bugs are good/why etc etc..
At the end of the day you have to do what feels right for you but make sure it's what's right for you & not to try & keep everyone else happy.In our experience the lottie has become part of our life & at times other stuff that would bear more importance to others takes a backseat~the toy cupboard is unaccessible due to ironing but it'll be there next time weather permits me to do it! Also before you hastily give up plots that you may later regret~What are the waiting lists like where you are?may not be an easily reversible decision?

[Hans Mum]

do what you want to do deep inside & dont take others opinions (maybe your OH's) into account, you only get one crack at this life and you should make the most of it for you..

[Nicos]

My mom loves our lottie- and is happy to give a helping hand with a bit of weeding from time to time ( she's in her 80's!!).

Each time she's guaranteed to say " Isn't it lovely down here....gosh ...but there's SOOOO much to do" * sigh..

Strange how a simple comment can take the wind out of your sails

[carlseawolf]

housework is a chore , the allotment is a hobby , everybody should have a hobby.

[piskieinboots]

a subject very - oh so very - close to my heart

I have been mulling over this fact for about 5-6 weeks now, do I give it up because:
a) I am starting college in September
b) I have a large garden
c) SD will never ever enjoy it
d) I work full-time and already have another course on the go

so I have given in, I have (today ) handed over the key to my shed to a neighbour on the understanding that he gives me back half the produce that I have planted.

So, I am lottieless for a year and according to Snowdrop about £600 down - not that he's counting!

There's no rights or wrongs here Shortie hun, just do what works for you. I don't see my handing over the lottie as a failure, I have enjoyed it very much and will do so again when I can give it more time. Giving up a lottie doesn't mean giving up for life.....

[HeyWayne]

so I have given in, I have (today ) handed over the key to my shed to a neighbour on the understanding that he gives me back half the produce that I have planted.

...and that he looks after Dawn!!

[piskieinboots]

yes Dawn was on the list

[Pootle]

Take a deep breath, a good glug of wine and just be grateful that you don't have my inlaws! Seriously!

Having come to the realisation that they are never going to be happy with anything I do I'm so much happier because I'm not always trying to be something I'm not. So, when they're relentlessly negative about us having an allotment, or about what we choose to grow on it, or about how I don't pick up OH's pants when he leaves them on the floor I just don't care anymore - as long as OH and the children are happy that's really all that counts.

And then there's that saying about 'if you want something doing, ask a busy woman' and the other one about 'you're a long time dead'!

Just make sure you make the right decision for you and your family and let the naysayers get on with their own business. And as for the cards - I'd do as Winged One said and try doing it as a sideline for when the weather is too bad or its too cold to be on the plot...let your business grow organically over time and see where it goes!

Now, how did this turn into a bit of a rant...sorry, must keep taking the pills

[ScottyW]

Like other have said it's best to do what your heart says and not listen to others

[TonyF]

Most people disapproved of us moving here (you must be mad, the language, money etc) But it is our life and it is what makes us happy.

Know all about that one - and we had the 'at your age' thrown in for good measure.

Shortie, do what you want to do to make you, not them, happy. Life is too short to have regrets - perhaps 2 plots are 1 too many, cut that back a bit perhaps but so what? It's your life, not theirs.

My old Dad died a week after his 61st birthday, over 25 years ago, full of regrets about things he'd not done - not been to uni, not emigrated because of other people putting pressure on him etc etc. I promised myself then I would not end up the same and I live my life for Jenny and I, we agree what we want from life, how to do it and then get on with it.

If the family doesn't like it, it may be sad but it's our life as your life is your life - do your own thing, be happy and don't end up like my old Dad.

[Matt.]

I know exactly what you mean. I struggle to keep the allotment going and when I look at what I get out compared to the effort I put in I do question why I bother! Having a plot takes so much time and when you are involved in other things its hard to find the time. I would go against what most will say here and probably agree with you that managing two plots could be too much.

In my limited experience there are three types of allotmenteer: The first are the die hards. These guys own at least two maybe more and spend every available moment there. They are the ones who are always around whenever you go, can pop by for a chat and grow tonnes of produce. The second are the naturally green fingered ones. These are the guys you never see but somehow their plot is always producing and yet they do no work? Its full of (small) weeds but also full of veg? The third are like myself. I get half the time I need and as a result reap less than half what I should. There are always more jobs on the "to do" list than are crossed off but jobs gradually get done.They are often seen on the phone saying "ok I'll be home in 10 minutes..." less than one hour after they arrived. There is a fourth type but they don't count. These are the ones who show up on day one and you never see again. They may have got lucky and the seeds they sowed in that single 1m2 patch have come good but who knows as the weeds are so tall nobody can see!!

So if you're a number three you're in good company! Its always going to be difficult if you work, have a family and (several) other interests. However just because its tough I wouldn't give up your first plot. How about concentrating on easy crops like spuds, onions and squash so get something but don't spend ages. Also consider the layout. This is my second year and I've now built a bed system rather than a traditional open plot I tried in my first. Its loads easier and I can manage my workload. Also I'm expecting next year to be easier as the beds will only require light digging and adding compost.

Don't give up completely, save the garden for flowers and childrens play space and just don't worry about how much or little you get from the plot - just enjoy the litte time you get there.