This pregnancy lark is affecting me already!

[Winged one]

Rhona I am sooo jealous. I am still working on the OH that, if I ever have another, I want a homebirth and a pool to boot! (Champers would be such a nice extra touch though).

[Mikey]

Our technical director just announced he's "going home". I was sure he said he was a gay gnome!

Before anyone says nuffing I does not resemble this remark!!!

Ah the joys of being a future dad, here are some pearly wisdom from a man in the know.

Don't go overboard on the pandering malarkey, as there's at least 40, and more like 42 weeks of it!!, and only the last 4 to 6 are truly unbearable for you.

Try to let her be as independant for as long as possible, as once the baby come along you will be doing plenty of food shopping.

Try not to take any notice of the cravings, and do not assist in the purchasing of ridiculous items.

Do not take any notice of nesting as it is not important that the front lawn is mowed before they return from hospital, the baby will not mind one bit.

Do get used to the fact that the only topic of conversation between your missus and any other woman from now on will be babies, and your opinion will be sort after but completely ignored because you can never understand the true PAIN!! of childbirth. (On the contrary my son as it is you that is completely sane while the OH has taken every drug known to mankind, that should otherwise floor a rhinosaurus.)

Do take a flask of sugary tea with you for the labour as the nurses do not give a flying fig that you have not eaten for 24 hours!!.

And, Final bit of advise before the bab comes home do get several dummies of different types, as I can assure you you will be at the supermarket in your slippers at 3 am one morning if you don't. Congrats buddy boy.

[lynda66]

Rhona I am sooo jealous. I am still working on the OH that, if I ever have another, I want a homebirth and a pool to boot! (Champers would be such a nice extra touch though).

eekkkkkk nooooooo go to the hospital and have every drug available ....... was great once i had everything, went to sleep after they'd given me an epidural, woke up with them telling me to push ....drugs are definitely the way forward

[di]

Do get used to the fact that the only topic of conversation between your missus and any other woman from now on will be babies, and your opinion will be sort after but completely ignored because you can never understand the true PAIN!! of childbirth. (On the contrary my son as it is you that is completely sane while the OH has taken every drug known to mankind

I take it you weren't forced to pee a concrete football at the time!?

[tootles]

Try not to take any notice of the cravings, and do not assist in the purchasing of ridiculous items.

Do not take any notice of nesting as it is not important that the front lawn is mowed before they return from hospital, the baby will not mind one bit.

I ate those clay granules you put in pot plants to keep moist!!!

And yes, it is incredibly important that the lawn is mown and the nursery is painted the right colour - the baby will notice and be VERY upset!!!!

Whatever you do DO NOT have sympathetic morning sickness, it is not sympathetic, it is bloody annoying!!!

[Mikey]

I take it you weren't forced to pee a concrete football at the time!?

Pee, chance would be a fine thing, I had no flask or drink for hours and hours!! I have had the occasional bad case of constipation, which I naturally endured without any pain medication.

[HeyWayne]

Pain and I became friends when my back went pop. We have an understanding now.

LW wants a hospital birth - she feels safer, which I can understand.

Her only real "craving" is dairy. She's never been much of a one for milk/cheese etc, yet she loves the stuff at the moment. Yazoo (?) milkshakes - chocolate ones, are the current fave.

My opinion's usually ignored, but I'm comfortable with that - we've been together long enough. As for woman on woman baby chat, I can hold my own with the best of them girlfriend *clicks fingers*.

Thanks for all the hints and tips though Mikey!

[Mikey]

OH chose the hop-it-all aswell. good job really I'm not sure they bring gas and air, pethidine and epidural to a home birth!!.

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING - Drugs can have an affect on your ability to remember when where and how your baby was born, make sure you take a man with a good memory with you, as you will be called upon for future reference.

[HeyWayne]

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING - Drugs can have an affect on your ability to remember when where and how your baby was born, make sure you take a man with a good memory with you, as you will be called upon for future reference.

Well, that's me chuffed. LW already calls me Dory after that fish in that film, oh, you know the one, it's got fish in it....

[lynda66]

Before anyone says nuffing I does not resemble this remark!!!

so bending over while your pants are down isn't gay??

Don't go overboard on the pandering malarkey, as there's at least 40, and more like 42 weeks of it!!, and only the last 4 to 6 are truly unbearable for you.

yup but when you are the size of a house, you can't fit through the supermarket door, and you can't fit in a trolley, so after they have let you in, through the stock takers door, because you have to walk, your varicose veins will burst all over the panty liner aisle, ......then you'd have wished you'd gone alone

Try to let her be as independant for as long as possible, as once the baby come along you will be doing plenty of food shopping.

that's rubbish, nothing a woman likes more in the first week or 2 than going shopping with a baby in a pram .... she's the centre of attention (oh yeah just remembered when the 500th granny has peered into the pram going coochy coo ...... it gets very wearing .... mind you, if you take the baby ..... apparently they are great chick magnets

Try not to take any notice of the cravings, and do not assist in the purchasing of ridiculous items.

ignore it at your peril .... i keep a large whip and a cucumber for just such a refusal ....... oops wrong site

Do not take any notice of nesting as it is not important that the front lawn is mowed before they return from hospital, the baby will not mind one bit.

its not for the baby silly ..... its for the other 50 visitors you will get on the hour every hour for the first 2 weeks, so you'll be so busy looking after them, you won't have time to mow the lawn

Do get used to the fact that the only topic of conversation between your missus and any other woman from now on will be babies, and your opinion will be sort after but completely ignored because you can never understand the true PAIN!! of childbirth. (On the contrary my son as it is you that is completely sane while the OH has taken every drug known to mankind, that should otherwise floor a rhinoceros.)

i only talked about babies with other mums ... it was bloody great to get to talk about something else over a pint of best
we only take the drugs otherwise you would think we are dying rhinoceroses with all the PAIN we're in ...and YOU trying to make out it doesn't hurt later is grounds for the answer to cravings above

Do take a flask of sugary tea with you for the labour as the nurses do not give a flying fig that you have not eaten for 24 hours!!.

if we can't eat you cant eat

And, Final bit of advise before the bab comes home do get several dummies of different types, as I can assure you you will be at the supermarket
your slippers at 3 am one morning if you don't. Congrats buddy boy.

oh i totally agree with the dummy, best invention ever ...... i never fed mine during the night, cos i'm really bad at not being grumpy when i've been woken up, so i gave him a dummy, and if he woke up, i'd put the dummy back in and in 2 weeks he was sleeping 8 1/2 hours a night (mind you the midwives don't like it but hey they aren't you and haven't been in agony with cracked nipples for the last 3 days.) feed on demand during the day and that means they get extra milk, when that gets too much start to make the distance between feeds a bit longer. or put them on a bottle and reduce the frequency, it really does work, i have 4 friends with babies, who all get a good nights sleep nearly every night.

[Mikey]

Well, that's me chuffed. LW already calls me Dory after that fish in that film, oh, you know the one, it's got fish in it....

John or Wanda?

[HeyWayne]

John or Wanda?

That's it! A Fish Called John! Cheers dude.

[Mikey]

so bending over while your pants are down isn't gay??


No, its called mooning.

yup but when you are the size of a house, you can't fit through the supermarket door, and you can't fit in a trolley, so after they have let you in, through the stock takers door, because you have to walk, your varicose veins will burst all over the panty liner aisle, ......then you'd have wished you'd gone alone

Hence Why I said only in the last 4 to 6 weeks, do you need to do the shopping.

that's rubbish, nothing a woman likes more in the first week or 2 than going shopping with a baby in a pram .... she's the centre of attention (oh yeah just remembered when the 500th granny has peered into the pram going coochy coo ...... it gets very wearing .... mind you, if you take the baby ..... apparently they are great chick magnets

[I]Old people have too many germs just like children, and they all like to touch babies, babies should be kept away from all alien life forms until after their jabs!!!![/I]


its not for the baby silly ..... its for the other 50 visitors you will get on the hour every hour for the first 2 weeks, so you'll be so busy looking after them, you won't have time to mow the lawn


Ban them all, unless they come with gardening equipment, tea aking skills, or food already prepared.

i only talked about babies with other mums ... it was bloody great to get to talk about something else over a pint of best
we only take the drugs otherwise you would think we are dying rhinoceroses with all the PAIN we're in ...and YOU trying to make out it doesn't hurt later is grounds for the answer to cravings above

Touchy are we!



if we can't eat you cant eat

Thats just selfish and bitter, a man could never hold a grudge like that.:rolleyes:

I have a cat, can you see any pidgeons?

[di]

And why after your OH has been through all that & given you the ultimate gift would you want to go out with a "chick magnet"?!

[lynda66]

And why after your OH has been through all that & given you the ultimate gift would you want to go out with a "chick magnet"?!

oh must just be my ex OH then and i meant you'll never be short of babysitters .... what on earth did you think i meant