Arguement

[jackie j]

Me and OH have been arguing this afternoon by text cos I asked for some money to pay for daughter and her friend to go horse riding ( something he knew about ) and her hair cut. Apparently I need to earn more even though I do all the housework cooking cleaning gardening etc and look after daughter.
I know I only work part time but what the hell does he expect. he sits on his backside every evening and at weekends.
GRRR MEN

[Flump]

thats it deep breaths let it out, I can imagine how frustrated you must feel

[Shortie]

Sorry to hear that Jackie, sounds like you both need to sit down and have a chat about sharing responsibilities {{hug}}

With Mr Shortie and I we both work roughly the same length of time, though different hours, but I earn more than twise what he does. He often cooks dinner ready as he gets home earlier than me, but I've given up asking for help with the housework. It usually works for us.

As far as money is concerned I don't consider it mine and his. If something's needed/wanted we see if we have the money spare but don't worry about what account it's come from..

Sit down and have a chat, explain what repsonsibilities you have beside work and let him air his opinion. Then hopefully you can come to a better understanding?

[zazen999]

My OH and his DD has been here with me all week; I work from home and had no appointments this week. He said today it's given him an insight into what I do - inferring i don't do much at all. But it is difficult to knuckle down with chuckchuckchucklevision/Wii/topgear/cricket/football etc etc coming from the front room. I've done evening stuff when he's been out to make up for it.

Can't wait for monday when he chuffs off back to work.

Love him to bits but not when I'm trying to work.

[baggyman]

That's what wives are for aint it?

[jackie j]

He earns a lot more than I do and as I am not qualified I will never earn as much as he does. Nearly everything is his as he has paid for it. Anything that I had from my first marriage has either worn out and been replaced or thrown out cos he said it was rubbish to his quality of stuff some of which he was right and I was glad to get rid of. Not so long ago we struggled to keep our heads above water and had debts. we remortgaged to get rid of these all but one small one of mine and he bought a much needed new car with the rest, and my shed for the allotment.
He has recently bought himself a new bike and a laptop amognst other things.
If he wants something he buys it where as if I want something I have to save up for it or go without and as I give my daughter pocket money, pay for her music lessons and exams, as well as sometimes horse riding, I also pay for my hair and dentist and car not a lot left for much else out of my money.
I guess I'm just angry and I dont want to argue in front of my daughter and her friend so I will vent most of it at work tonight LOL just look out any customers who give me grief tonight.

[lynda66]

That's what wives are for aint it?

*pokes baggy in his eye* for being a sexist pig.

[biskit]

If partners paid the going rate per hour for the jobs that housewives do they would never be able to afford it. Bless them they dont understand. Thats why they have man flu & women have sniffles. Lol.

[lynda66]

He earns a lot more than I do and as I am not qualified I will never earn as much as he does. Nearly everything is his as he has paid for it. Anything that I had from my first marriage has either worn out and been replaced or thrown out cos he said it was rubbish to his quality of stuff some of which he was right and I was glad to get rid of.

sounds like my ex, everything was 'ours' till we split up cos he went off with someone else, then funnily enough, everything was 'his'

anyway, i agree with shortie, you really do need to sort things out with him, as you really haven't sounded happy lately, if you don't feel you can talk, maybe sit down and write, and tell him (also point out which bits of him make you happy) he may not realise how he is being, or that you are so upset. tell him exactly how you feel, once he's read it, it should open up the lines of communication, so he can understand

good luck with it ...... and be brave, if he doesn't know he can't change.

and if he doesn't change, i hear beachy head is nice when it's sunny

[Farmer_Gyles]

i've never had an OH to share the housework / cooking / bringing up kids / earning money / spending money ...... had to do the whole lot on my own ..... anyone who has an OH to share all that with should think about just how lucky they really are .....

[quark1]

Quite agree FG - know what its like to go solo on household/family/financial duties - but when you DO have an OH and he/she has the hobby of spreading their backsides due to idleness in the home that's seriously frustrating.

[Geo]

That's what wives are for aint it?

Yep

Geo..

[petal]

me and oh have been arguing this afternoon by text cos i asked for some money to pay for daughter and her friend to go horse riding ( something he knew about ) and her hair cut. Apparently i need to earn more even though i do all the housework cooking cleaning gardening etc and look after daughter.
I know i only work part time but what the hell does he expect. He sits on his backside every evening and at weekends.
Grrr men

my husband would be shown the door for less

[Alison]

I fully subscribe to the whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours and wouldn't have married my OH unless he had the same values. We don't earn the same but even if one of us earned nothing and the other earned loads it would still be 100% shared and not mine or his. We both work hard whatever our contribution and are part of a partnership. Makes me so glad that he sees it this way and appreciate him all the more.

[zazen999]

i've never had an OH to share the housework / cooking / bringing up kids / earning money / spending money ...... had to do the whole lot on my own ..... anyone who has an OH to share all that with should think about just how lucky they really are .....

Soon young FG, soon.