I Have Really Gone and Done it Now

[Nicos]

That's the way to go Jackie..

Tescos eh???...absolutely NO excuse....go for them.
( don't forget to send a copy of your sick note with your letter..ask - from your GP - for counselling too )

I'm not really a person directed at the compensation society..but flipping heck..Tesco's are the leading company in the UK at profits and income....they should be cristal clear on their handling of bullying in the workplace.

[Johnny Appleseed]

jackie - don't let this bully spoil your 9 year record with your employer. You are worth more than this.

Citizens Advice are very good on these occasions and well worth a visit.

The management must realize something happened to make you react like this (no-one throws away a 9 year employment record lightly) and given the circumstances you acted in response to a manager bullying you in front of staff and customers.

Management should now deal with the bully and listen to your side of things. They cannot be party to this type of behaviour and will have to do something on your behalf.

Do not agree to meet alone with the manager who treated you in this fashion - make sure you have a witness present - not to say anything, just to note what is said in case there is a dispute later on about who said what and to whom.

I wouldn't post any more details or comments of this or previous events or episodes relating to your employment here or anywhere else on the web - it may not be in your best interest to do so as you never know who reads it and how it may be perceived in the cold light of day.

Kind regards and best wishes - no-one deserves to be treated like this - our thoughts are with you.

[Nicos]

To be fair to Tesco.... they don't need this sort of problem...somewhere a line management has failed to complete,
You clearly need to explain the problem ....it will be interesting to see the results.

[Hashette]

Good luck Jackie. I don't know what else has been happening in your life, but being stressed and/or depressed sounds like a fairly normal reaction to to being picked on by a supervisor over a long period, without whatever else has been happening. I'd agree with what's been said above, it does sound like constructive dismissal and it's worth a letter (with help from the CAB if you're going that route). On the other hand, would you want to go back if you could smooth things over? 9 years is a long time to just walk away from

[Tracey]

Good Luck Jackie

[jackie j]

I have been thinking of changing my job for a while and this was the tip of an iceburg. Those of you who have read my previous posts about other stuff going on in my life will know what I am talking about. I realised that I have also been snapping at my daughter which isnt like me at all, every one that knows me have said in the past that they wonder how I cope with every thing I do especcially this time last year when I was looking after my sister.
Doctors just after 12 today.

[Headfry]

Jackie j
I am so sorry this has happened to you, Bullying is awful and affects you in many ways.
Mostly it hurts and hurts deeply, worse still when you think you can do nothing about it.....yes you can, please do as Nicos and others have suggested.
I was badly bullied by a site manager at a job (I was a cleaner) and with that title I became fair game for the rather nasty young male, jack the lad, boss. He was in charge of many young girls, and me being the older and 'the cleaner' I was his target....until he started on some other new and young girls I just put up with it (had a good cry many a time) ok- I was about 36 years old but we can still cry over bullying!
Well, I got mad, I saw him upset one to many young lady.....
I asked for a meeting with the area manager..... I had said nothing to anyone to this point.
The day came, the nasty boss was on a day off (I had taken advantage of this) as I did not want to cause problems
deep breath was taken by me, I just thought of the last gril who had come to me in tears....that was my courage, into the office I went...
The area manager who I thought was all for the young nasty boss was aghast, I thought I was sacked gulp! but I carried on.
I had sat the day before and listed on paper, as many events as I could. I did not glorify events, nor did I name people.
Area manager just listened. I was not afraid by that time, a pure and calm pleasure took over. justice I think.
Will continue in a bit....back now...
Area manager took over site, nasty manager moved on! Justice at long last done!
Girls all happy, NO more tears.
It was not about me, that had already happened, it was about all those that came after me, they will not have to suffer this man and his nasty bullying ways.
Yes I did absolutely hate 'telling' on him, but those poor girls (and me too I guess) It was so worth it for them.
Had problems at next job(seem to collect them don't I)
This was about cutting staff numbers, exhausting and exploiting people mostly - young french waiters. I did nothing about this even though I had collected proof, dates, copies of shift sheets showing people working 13 days with no day off, no proper breaks, sworn at, and worse..... stupidly I did nothing I just handed in notice and left.
I could have done something to perhaps change the terrible working day for those left there and those who follow...I really regret not putting in the effort! TOO LATE NOW
This hotel had an 'Investors in people' award they should have been ashamed.
Unless they "invested" in the numbers of people employed then left within weeks due to ill management and little or no respect.

so, Jackie j please do try very hard to at least write and tell of your upsetting experiences working for a firm that really should know better!


Big hugs to you jackie from fellow bully'ee Sue (Headfry) xx

PS I am not a clever person, I just hate to see bullying and unfairness.

[Hilary B]

I would agree that this sort of bullying is grounds for complaint of 'constructive dismissal'.
There are 2 types of bullying.
Those in supervisory positions who bully from fear that you could do their job better than they do it, and those who simply cannot feel good about themselves except by making someone else feel bad. You seem to have one of the former!
It does sound as if this has caused your OH to come out and be supportive, so maybe there is a silver lining.

[jackie j]

Just been to the docs and everything came pouring out, from losing my sister, my ex daughter in law taking overdoses, dealing with a 13 yr old who has lost her mum, no holds barred. He was very supportive and I was with him a long time he will give me a sick note if it turns out I need one and I have to go and see him next week.
In the meantime nothing from work still, so I am going to pluck up courage and give them a ring.

[Johnny Appleseed]

In the meantime nothing from work still, so I am going to pluck up courage and give them a ring.

I'm glad to see things are moving forward jackie. Being the boring old fa*t that I am - it would be wise to make brief notes of anything that is said to you over the phone or face to face from now on - at least until the dust settles.

Hopefully you will never need to refer to them again but just in case you need to state what was said, by whom and when a few comments written down at the time could make all the difference. Just make a few bullet points, it doesn't have to be verbatim - just the simple facts outlined in a way you remember them.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Good luck with everything.

[Headfry]

Good luck jackie j
I and all those who have been bullied stand right by your side.
HF
x

[SueA]

Good luck with whatever you choose to do Jackie. It sounds as though everything had just been building up inside you & you've reached breaking point & this incident has just proved the final straw. It's good that you managed to talk to your doctor (& lucky you found one with the time to listen!), if you don't feel any better maybe you could ask to see a counsellor to talk some more. You should definitely get onto Tesco & see what they have to say about the matter & explain what has been going on from your viewpoint so they have both sides of the story.

[jackie j]

Made the call, seeing personel manager tomorrow, he was ok on the phone so hopefully i will go well.

[Headfry]

Big step jackie j ....well done you!
just take your time, state the events as they happened.
remember the following when you walk into the room.........
There are many grapes in your bunch! and we are all there for you

[lynda66]

*holds jackie's hand* you'll be great ..... go get em tiger