Spoonerisms / Malapropisms

[tootles]

In our house, cold people have gooseberry bumps, whiskey is daddy juice, red wine is grandma juice, a woodlouse is a nickmouse and we still call the tv a harbushun.
Some years ago someone clearly took my brain and put it somewhere safe (?!) and I too have the problem with finding the right words. Thankfully, no.2 son speaks fluent mummy and knows that when I ask him for a banana (spoon, elephant etc) I actually mean tin opener (knife, towel, television remote control.....) Although the remote control has always been the 'stick' with us. No.1 son, however, is very literal and if I hand him a lump of cheese and tell him to put it away in the washing machine - he will.
My mother calls her shoes beetles.

[Cloud]

When the cat does some thing wrong its "Cooking Fat"!!!!!!

[tootles]

When the cat does some thing wrong its "Cooking Fat"!!!!!!

or will be

[Flummery]

Why does EVERYONE in the famly remember when you say something daft? I couldn't remember the word for stable a year or so back, and not wanting to hold up the flow of the conversation completely I said "Horse garage". Wel,, it made sense at the time. I'm getting on you know!

[Rocketron]

My son's teacher in year 1 asked me what "Futts Ache " meant. My son couldn't pronounce C at the time. Oops!

[valmarg]

Going with the Malapropism thread, I used to be a shorthand/trypist, and the old expression was converted to 'carry on rewardless'.

valmarg

[wellie]

Tootles,
Absolutely priceless, if you don't mind me saying. Really enjoyed that!

Are any of you as old as me and studied MRS. MALAPROP for English Literature at school?

I'm so old now, I can't even remember any of the best 'malapropisms', apart from maybe:
Kate & Sydney (for Steak & Kidney)
?

[wiccanlou]

there is a few I use, flutterbyes because they flutter by, nutter butter, nissed as a pewt and snarpips.

[Gwyndy]

Florncakes, knickerknacker glories, humbergrillas, and par carks still stick in my mind!!

[Two_Sheds]

Does this count?
I couldn't say Grandpa when I was little, so it was Grampy which became Grumpy behind his back.

We call spaghetti "sketty" and milk "moo juice"

[MaureenHall]

There's some real good giggles on this thread It's given me something to laugh at every day!!
Another "daft" thing we do, especially on long journeys is to see what things along the road work if spelled backwards. For example Slow Down becomes Wols Nwod, police car becomes ecilop rac, hidden dip becomes neddy pid, and speed camera becomes deeps amerac. We have silly conversations talking "back-to-front". Try it, it breaks the monotony of long journeys and some place names can be really funny.
By the way, my son when he was a little boy used to ask when dinner would be ready because he was asolutly ravishing and could he have nipaplopitan ice cream for pudding

[Mrs Dobby]

At work I'm always telling staff that its in the Ociffe (office), and various other spoonerisms!

Miss D used to say Panio instead of piano, nosserinus instead of rhinocerus, effelump instead of elephant!

My Aunt is still known by all as Matey, as when I was little I couldnt say Rosemary, so it came out as Meeyoweyowey, which got shortened to matey?

Mr D and I often talk in gibberish to each other, I cant think of exact words we use, but anyone listening in must think we are a bit mad (and they'd be right!!)

[lynda66]

i've just had a recollection of my friend, after getting pulled over for overtaking a police car at 90 on the motorway at 3am ....... she got out of the car tripped over on her stillettos and from the floor said yes occifer is there a pwoblem?

he decided to breathalize her lol(she hadn't been drinking) ...... she did pass, and he let her off and told her not to do it again, then asked for her phone number ...... oh the good old days, when policemen took notice of short skirts, and couldn't be bothered with the paperwork

[bubblewrap]

Mixing incontinent & incompetent.
Eg ......George W Bush in mentally incontinent.

[bubblewrap]

Prestigious & prodigious.
eg A rolls Royce is a prodigious car.