Regret is.......hearing a Nan you hardly knew has died

[Finedon.Dandy]

Its been a bit of a time here on the vine eh. what with Piskies news I was blubbing not that the 'ormones have been helping and then I opened up an email entitled "sad news". Well I am so sad that I didnt get the news in an email sent especialy to me - instead I was included in an email sent to all and sundry - various widespread family and friends but then maybe I should explain why this deistance just grew and grew.

Around 40 years ago, my Mums heart broke when her mother along with her three brothers (one with a wife and kids in tow) emigrated to Australia. She suffered from depression but seemed to turn a corner when they returned and looked set to stay. She was so much happier that she fell pregnant with me but was heartbroken all over again when they decided to return to oz.

She died when I was 9 months old of an accidental overdose of anti-depressants and from what I understand she never got over her family going. My Nan never got a glimpse of me (they in fact lost touch with my Dad) until I was 21 when she came over with two of the brothers for a visit. We met once more during a return visit when I was around 26 but that was over 10 years ago.

I always held a dream to go and see her, my uncles and all my cousins but sadly it wasnt to be. She was 91 and doted on all her grandkids and great grandkids - I just wish I could have felt myself and Hannah and Daniel more counted amoungst them.

I will be thinking of her as I have an early scan tomorrow. Lets hope all the bad things have now gone and there is to be more good news around soon.

Tammy

[Polly Fouracre]

I feel very sad reading your post. My grand mothers and one of my grandfathers died long before I was born. My other grandfather was extremely old when I met him and died not long after.
I never missed having grandparents until I had grandchildren of my own.Now I wonder what I missed out on. I aim to be the best Granny in the world and hope that my love will see my grandchildren through any hard times!

[rustylady]

I think the biggest regret is losing a close family member (Mum, Dad, Nan or Grandad) without actually ever telling them you love them. I was lucky with my Dad, we'd become much closer after Mum died, but he was a bit "stiff upper lip" when we were kids. Anyway, he actually died on my birthday a few years ago, and I was so glad I'd phoned him that morning, thanked him for my birthday card and cheque (which never did get cashed) and told him I loved him. He died very quickly (of a massive heart attack) in the company of his friends later that evening, and I'm glad for him, although it was a hell of a shock for the rest of the family.

[squashysu]

I am so sorry for you and feel your pain, here is a little huggle for you ((())), if only if this would make you better, but i know it wont. take care FD we are all here xx

[maytreefrannie]

Thoughts are with you - it's sad to hear of your nan's death, the fact that you don't have many memories of her is particularly hard.

your nan most likely also would have wished to have had time with you and your siblings; the distance was a major physical barrier, but believe in her feelings for you, emotions have no limits of space or time.

I feel that the fact that you'd have liked to have known her better reflects a lovely side of you - who knows, perhaps that good nature was inherited from her.

[di]

Sorry Tammy!!x
All the best for tomorrow.Di,x

[jackie j]

I lost my grannie when I was about 3 years old and I didnt have any grandads as they died before I was born. My nan lived in southend and we stayed in the summer holidays but I didnt like her and she died when I was about 13. I have been a grandma for 7 years and I would like to think that I spoil my grandson a little bit, he always gives me big hugs when I pick him up from school even in front of his friends.
Just because you didnt know them very well doesnt mean they didnt love you, just distance makes it harder and with your mum not being around probably made it harder for them to keep in touch.
Thinking of you Tammy at this sad time hugs to you and your family.
Good luck for your scan.

[HeyWayne]

Sorry to hear of your loss FD.

Nans are something special aren't they? I still miss mine.

Good luck with your scan today.

[Flummery]

I was very close to my Gran who died when my own children were young. I apreciate how lucky I was. Now I have grandchildren, I apreciate it from the other side. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and the circumstances surrounding it.

Your Nan will have loved you and been proud of you even though circumstances kept you apart. Trust me, I'm a Granny!

[yoanbob]

sorry to here thet tammy.

did I miss somthing? early scan? can it be?