fed up :( don't know what to do

[Two_Sheds]

i've just got to that stage where i want more than i'm getting ...... that's the problem, this situation won't change ..... i can guarantee he won't move, and i can guarantee i won't .... and with everything considered it doesn't look hopeful does it

I think you know the answer, but you're looking for someone else to say it for you.
It's difficult, really hard to say this, as I don't know you and it's none of my business anyway, but sounds to me like the relationship's going nowhere is it? Has it run it's course?

Would this help? Online Dating Service - Singles, Personals and Relationships, Match.com

may it all work out for the best for you, whatever you decide x

[Nicos]

I wonder if it's your relationship with Rob that you have to come to terms with first.
Both my kids went to Uni- Liverpool and Sheffield- both were 1 1/4 hrs from home. The first year we saw quite a bit of both of them and as they settled in it became less and less.
I know Rob intends to move back home, but is he doing that for you cos he can see how lonely you are- or because of financial reasons.
My brother commuted to Manchester Uni for a couple of terms and missed out on all the social side and realised there was more to Uni life than just studying and moved back into Halls again..
If Rob finds a girlfriend he'll not want to move back in with you- I wouldn't count on him returning and so don't make that your reason for giving up on the possible love of your life.
Can you imagine 2 years from now your'OH' married to someone else and suddenly realising he was in reality your solemate? Don't paint all blokes with a tarred brush just cos some have not given you the security you clearly crave. ( is Rob your surrogate safety blanket- ie you need him more than he needs you???)
Why not give it a few weeks living in Barrow- sort of extended holiday- you might even be able to get a temporary job in a garden centre in the run up to Xmas.
If you don't try you'll never know.
I don't envy your dilemma x
Everyone is different Lynda-tis always easier to do nothing.

[SlugLobber]

So move up there and rent your place out.

This is exactly my suggestion. Don't let fear of what might be wreck something that already is.

I was all set to move back oop North if my OH hadn't said he felt the same way. There's no way I could spend 2 months away from him as you do. Tricky situation and I don't envy you a bit!

[Flummery]

Oh heck, what can any outsider say? Except - I hate Barrow too - even though my Aunt was born there.

It's all about needing love and security isn't it? And you both need it.


Only you can save mankind...!

At least you've always got us. (Big, fat, hairy deal!!)

[marigold007]

"i do miss him, i also miss rob, to be honest i think rob leaving home has left me feeling depressed anyway, it's like all of a sudden i'm not his mummy any more. ... he rings me every night, but it's starting to do my head in (it's always when i'm watching something lol..... oh i dunno, when we're together it's fab ....... i think i've just got lonely and need someone here."

I'd go into psychoanalysis if I were you. It'd be less-expensive and much more fulfilling than turning your life up-side-down, in my humble opinion. {{{{internetz hugz}}}}

[SarzWix]

Big ((((hugs)))) sweetheart.
I've no answers for you, but I think the best suggestion so far is for you to go and stay with OH for a while 3 weeks/month. Assuming you can get someone to look after the animals for you? Perhaps after Christmas before term starts again, then Rob could animal sit for you?
Maybe if you suggest that, OH will agree to come stay with you for a while too?
I dunno, it's a tough one.
Definately don't rush into any decisions when you're feeling miserable/lonely, and I think it would be only fair to involve the OH in any decisions - he might have opinions/ideas which haven't even occurred to you!

[lynda66]

OH rang me last night, and caught me bawling ..... i blurted everything out, and he's coming down at weekend cos we aren't having 'THAT' conversation over the phone ...... then he said it's about time you moved up here anyway ..... to which i replied nope it's about time you moved here ...... but we've been there before .... it's complicated.

anyway, regarding rob, he wanted to commute, but i didn't want him to miss out, so he's in halls, his girlfriend has moved in with him ..... she does have her own place, but it's fun playing house lol ..... even with all that, he still wants to come home next year, we've already had the conversation about his g/f and it isn't a problem for her to move in too (she does housework lol)

anyway, who know, its 9 months off yet.

when rob was at home, i used to go up to OH's for a couple of weeks at a time, it worked out ok, cos rob got to live on his own, in practice for uni, so me and OH know we can spend time together ....... it's since rob has been to uni, that we haven't seen each other .... and that's whats causing the problems, to go from seeing each other lots, to not seeing each other at all.

can't rent my house out, and he wont rent his.

anyway, i guess we'll see what weekend brings.

[Flummery]

Best of luck kid, whatever you decide. We'll be thinking of you this weekend.

[lynda66]

I think you know the answer, but you're looking for someone else to say it for you.
It's difficult, really hard to say this, as I don't know you and it's none of my business anyway, but sounds to me like the relationship's going nowhere is it? Has it run it's course?

Would this help? Online Dating Service - Singles, Personals and Relationships, Match.com

may it all work out for the best for you, whatever you decide x

when we're together it's wonderful ..... when we're apart it's crap

think i'll give the dating site a miss lol ..... not desperate yet

[HeyWayne]

Having only ever been with LadyWayne I am not one to offer advice on this situation - all's I will say is that to me LW is everything and I've no idea where I'd be without her (actually I do, but that doesn't bear thinking) - I'd walk through a burning building for that woman.

I'm always a firm believer in not regretting the things I've done, but regretting the things I haven't. A "what if?" is a much more difficult question to answer than a "do you remember when?".

*snaps back to himself.

Whoa.

[OverWyreGrower]

Having only ever been with LadyWayne I am not one to offer advice on this situation - all's I will say is that to me LW is everything and I've no idea where I'd be without her (actually I do, but that doesn't bear thinking) - I'd walk through a burning building for that woman.

*sniff* That's lovely....

[janeyo]

Well I'm not back fom Barcelona til late Tuesday so I want full details of what has been decided this weekend when he visits when I get back - somebody bump the post if it goes too far down!

Am v nosey, lol, but I don't watch the soaps so this is the nearest I am getting...

janeyo x

[Two_Sheds]

Well, best of luck Lynda, whatever the outcome is. You'll always have us on here (whether you like it or not)

[Hashette]

Do you have to do anything just now?

If it hurts that much to end it, why not just let it be? You haven't seen him for two months, so if you do nothing, then nothing changes. Instead of doing something hasty that you may regret, how about writing down how you feel, sealing it up, and putting it at the back of a drawer for a month or so? Then if you still feel that ending it is the best option, at least it will all be clearer in your own mind

All the very best and I hope whatever decision you take, and whenever you take it, it's the right one for you

[Hashette]

Sorry, that was out of context, I didn't realise there was a second page and that you'd already had a conversation on the phone.

Best of luck Lynda