Why Drinking is Bad For You

[SlugLobber]

Do you ever have someone 'trigger' a diatribe of information, which to you is most exciting, but to them, is, er, irrelevant?

I was on a coference Tuesday and Wednesday and Tuesday night saw some Exec type flashing the company credit card and buying us all drinks. Lost the ability to say no and ended up with numerous GnTs (doubles).

Anyhoo, some bright spark says that humans are the only ones to have sex for pleasure. Big red light flashes in my head and the databanks of all I know about animal sex open. This includes evidence of gay sex in monkeys, horses and cows, stallions masturbating (which led to an in depth explanation of how) and some guy chipped in with an anecdote about girlie monkeys doing norty things.

Now, even when slightly tipsy, I remember everything I do/say. However, if I didn't, the others were more than happy to talk about it the next day. These are people I'd only met 12 hours earlier and I'm now forever known as 'That Woman who taught us about animal sex'.

Please tell me I'm not the only one to get carried away like that!

p.s. for reference, read Jonathan Balcombe's 'Pleasurable Kingdom'.

[lynda66]

LMAO ...... i get like that when i'm drunk too ...... it's amazing what bizarre things you remember when you're drunk innit lol .... ....... mind you i come out with stuff like that when i'm sober ... so nope you're not the only one.

[HotStuff]

You're definitely not the only one, but thanks for sharing, that's the best laugh I've had this week

[bluemoon]

Nope, you're definitely not alone. I spout the 'biology' stuff too, and my family and friends are sick of hearing about how their food was produced - well you've got to tell them even when it's unpalatable, haven't you? How else do you convert people to grow your own? My favourite though is explaining how to dissect a cockroach when there are roast chestnuts on the go, suddenly I find that there are an awful lot left for me.

[zazen999]

That's genius...

[Flummery]

Explaining about camel droppings when black olives are served - that'd be another!

[Glutton4...]

Whilst eating something with rice for dinner at school, I would always start talking about maggots, then finish everyone else's grub when they were put off! (He he)

[Glutton4...]

By the way sluglobber,

You're right about horses. There's a pony on our yard who'll roll in the sand then just 'sit' there rocking backwards and forwards with a strange grin on his face as he rubs his 'wotsit' on his hind leg

[snakeshack]

alcohol improves your mind
this is the beer & buffalo theory.

Everyone knows that predators pick off the weakest members of the buffalo herd and as a result the whole herd becomes stronger and fitter as the weak members are culled.
We all know that alcohol destroys brain cells ,presumably the weakest least tolerant first so therefore as you drink your brain becomes stronger and fitter.
This is why we all think we are so smart after 5-6 pints

[SlugLobber]

By the way sluglobber,

You're right about horses. There's a pony on our yard who'll roll in the sand then just 'sit' there rocking backwards and forwards with a strange grin on his face as he rubs his 'wotsit' on his hind leg

Your's is actually quite unusual. Normally they slap 'it' against their belly. I told my OH ages ago and he was like, 'Yeah, yeah, shut up woman.' Then one day I got this phone call.

'URRRRRGGGHHHH!!! He's doing what you said!! It's disgusting! YEEWWWWW!!! DIRTY B*****D!'

Poor lad had wandered down his smallholding and caught his Mum's miniature shettie in the act.

Ooops. There I go again! Sorry!

[SlugLobber]

p.s. I almost typed cat instead of act, there. What an interesting typo that would have been!!

[Glutton4...]

p.s. I almost typed cat instead of act, there. What an interesting typo that would have been!!

Now THAT would have been wiped from the thread/censored, or whatever they do on here.

Whilst on the subject, I was grooming my Horse's belly one day, turned my head and got smacked round the ear by it - I pay more attention now!

[bluemoon]

I loved it when the Russians sent a chimpanzee into space, he was strapped down, but managed to get one hand free. One bored monkey in a confined space meant that the pictures from the mission were definitely not pre-watershed.

On the subject of horses though, when my daughter was learning to ride it sometimes looked as if some of them had five legs.....but the kids never seemed to notice.

[sallym]

I once visited a lady who had a parrot that used to rub himself along his perch and make OOH AAH noises. Spent the entire visit paralysed with laughter.