The Gardeners Rest #3

[Finedon.Dandy]

Once Beefy had recovered from the shock and dizzyness of the floor spinning around, he niped into the Ladies (nearer than the Gents) as being asleep for two days he was in desperate need of a "P". He then got a further shock when he found Finedon asleep behind one of the cubicle doors. "Thats what that banging sound was" he muttered to himself "silly tart was trying to push the door open" Of course it was clear for all to read the sign above the handle that said "PULL"

She should have......

[Flummery]

... gone to Specsavers?

[Finedon.Dandy]

When instead she has a fair to plan. First though they have to wake her up. Zazen gives her a shake. "That wont work" Seahorse sniggers. Flummery agrees "She looks so peacefull - bless her" They all say "ahhhhhh" Then Snadger has a bright idea. "I know" he chrotles "we could.................

[HayleyB]

"Make a Parkin"

"Yep" cried BrideXIII "Aunty Flum knows how"

Aunty Flum starts mixing the parkin, Aunty mo pops in behind her back and throws in a handful of poultry spice "That'll get the girlies a layin'" she says "Hic"

Farmer Gyles walks through the door "Panto?? I bagsy I be the one who gets the girl, make her nice and warm and cuddly and make sure she is happy to dig up my new allotment that needs clearing"

Two Sheds staggers in "Me back, me back, No me bladdy back hurts from sleeping on the sofa for two weeks, need sommat for Mr Sheds tea, anyone got any wild birdseed cake? - Ooooooh Heywayne why are you dressed in a skirt?"

The room hushed and everyone stared at Heywayne...........

[MaureenHall]

I'm wearing a skirt cos Lady Wayne said me trousers were too tight and that's what was making me back hurt. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I like the feel of this, anybody got a nice frilly top to go with it?

[HeyWayne]

...but before anyone could offer their bodice the shirlthegirl had selected a little doowop on the Wurlitzer and began to dance with her new friend Harvey and a bunch of carrots..

[MaureenHall]

"What's happening?????????????????????????" Everywhere was as quiet as a graveyard in the middle of the night. Aunty Mo was the only one left! "Goody goody gumdrops" she said as she helped herself to the rhubarb crisps and pea pod wine. Little did she know that .......

[scarey55]

... rhubarb and Pea pods make a lethal combination and poor Aunty Mo had a nasty attack of...

[Nicos]

..well need I say????...why do you think she was on her own in there??

It looked like everyone had gone into the kitchen to help with the washing up as the dishwasher had broken down.

[smallblueplanet]

Yeah, maybe that's it Nicos - cos I remember someone saying that Mr. Muscle was in the kitchen!!! Although I'm sure they said 'under the sink'!???

[SueA]

In one corner Nicos sat down & began to carefully write out a sign to pin on the pub notice board...'French/English/ Anglo Saxon speaking/spoken/spoking advisor/adviser/advisa available' & then she pinned it on the board under one which read...
'Available TonyF, suave, sophisticated, Hugenot specialist, own moustache & hair (some)!' & another which read...
' Available male , Farmer Gyles, not fussy, WLTM female with own spade & wellies'
In another corner Sewer Rat was making up the Christmas veg. boxes with red cabbage, sprouts, onions, Rhubarb Schnapps, Peapod Wine & Marrow Brandy & asking Dobby how he got his cucumber so big & long.
In another corner Snadger was sawing the legs off a bar stool to make kindling for his stove & perches for the chooks.
In another corner Finedon Dandy had recovered enough to supervise the craft section again & Flum was busy quilting egg warmers, Alice was busy stringing dried chillies together & JennieAtkinson was putting together a scrapbook of the history of the Grapevine.
Meanwhile in another corner (very odd shape this pub)...

[BrideXIII]

........Demeter was running a whetstone along the edge of a large scythe in a determined manner.........

suddenly in walked........

[Nicos]

Nick the Grief and HeyWayne were discussing 'ladies wear' and the difficulty in matching purple berets with stilettos and fish net stockings.
Nick was clearly an old hand ...and it has to be said....looked particularly attractive this evening

HeyWayne - due to his dark complexion- suggested that either sunflower yellow or red would be his colour of choice...there was a lot of teeth sucking and head shaking going on in that corner.Such choices...such choices...

...and meanwhile in another corner.....

[Flummery]

...there was a builder knocking through due to a severe shortage of corners! Undeterred, the gang were excitedly .....

[BrideXIII]

planning new corners.
Demeter was shapening pencils with the scythe so that the whole gang could draw a plan out on the floor, and decide who was having which corner.

Nico's piped up....