The Gardeners Rest #3

[Nicos]

"Egg nog for everyone" called moggssue..."we're celebrating tonight folks!!"

[Hilary B]

"Anyone for a Snoball?" NO NOT the sort you throw!

[JennieAtkinson]

"Oyh thet sounds a spleeeendid idea" cried Jennie trying out a new voice for an audition next week. "Ken i hyave one of those phyansie glasses pleeeaze aynd a cherry?"

"Wot? - no cherries 'ere mate" cried Jacob as he launched himself across the room and missing ........

[MaureenHall]

Lynda who quickly turned her back on the group, but not before everyone had seen strange movements in her big booby bra where she'd hidden the new born chicks. Wayne and Sarzwix were propping each other up against ............................

[Nicos]

..Lynda's webcam which she'd accidentally left recording and transmitting live to You Tube....

[SarzWix]

Poor Jacob landed in a heap on the floor, at the foot of the big squashy sofa that Piglet had moved in for the invalids. "Room for one more up there?" he said in a slightly strangulated voice, his precious cherries having been crushed on landing, along with a nasty bang on the...

[JennieAtkinson]

.... rhubarb butties he was heaving across the room. Sadly Jacob was beaten to the sofa, literally beaten, by a poor soul who needed to rest ...... Oh yes I do said Jennie, Oh no you don't said the chorus of ........

[SarzWix]

filthy rugby players, who'd just piled through the door looking for a pint and a large, comfy sofa to kaffle on... They had reckoned without the 'Gardener's Rest Laydees' though, who rose from the sofa as one, brandishing....

[kirsty b]

...several large glasses of something wickedly alcoholic and a nasty glint in their eye's. 'C'mere' says Piskie, last one under the table is a great big..........

[wellie]

Bu@@er. ...... I was really enjoying reading that.!

"Isn't it annoying when the WHOLE cast of The Gardener's Rest Panto WELL falls asleep Girls'n'Boys?"
said Wellie, stamping her foot in the middle of a newly iced Christmas Cake?
Anyway, Wellie couldn't sleep with the noise of Trousers snoring in yonder Holly Cottage, and took a stroll through the village on this crisp pre-pre-Christmassy morning.
She was way too excited to sleep, knowing that there were presents under the tree, and besides, the Penguins were revolting.

As she pushed open the already half-opened Pub Door, the Penguins found their own way to the Ice Machine in the Kitchen and Piggie's Festive Chocolate Fountain Machine. Wellie decided not to go there....

As Wellie gingerly pushed open the door to The Snug, and looked round it towards the welcoming fire, she was touched by their beauty.

The whole cast of The Gardeners' Rest HAD fallen asleep.! .... Beautifully. AAHHH!
This is no ORDINARY Gardeners' Rest my friends, (she said seductively), this is our very OWN Grow Your OWN Gardeners' Rest (see Wellie do a Marks'n'Spencer Voice Over).

And you will NEVER guess what happened next, unless I tell you. (No, I've stopped doing the voice-over now?!)

All of a sudden, Secret Santa completely lost his/her footing. And with the weight of all of those welcome/unwelcome/welcome, but very well-thought-out presents, came crashing through the pub ceiling, knocking over Aunty Flummery's Quilted Empty Sherry Glass? (wait for it.........)
("Ouch!" said Wellie)

Naturally, the sound of an empty glass woke the entire pub up, and it all 'kicked off' once again.
Didn't it Children?!

[Nicos]

"Come on children " called MOM...carrying a large batch of freshly made croissants and mince pies
"wakey wakey"

The fire had been remade and was glowing warmly and the children were covered in penguin chocolate.....

[scarey55]

The fire had been remade and was glowing warmly and the children were covered in penguin chocolate.....

Buttons?

Oh no, that's another panto isn't it

The rugby players were getting rowdy by this point and had started...

[Glutton4...]

Singing dirty songs and practising rugby tackling with a leftover Pumpkin that had been sitting under one of the tables...

[wellie]

Unfortunately, no-one had thought to varnish the under-ripe display Squash, and the Rugby tackling did not do the Pumpkin any favours. Never mind. Pigletwillie would have the pub cleaner deal with the mess 'on the morrow'.

For now though, his main concern in these (see Wellie shake her head) troubling times, was to encourage his Vine 'punters' to keep visiting. Or should he, like the Summer Sunday Night Chat, just cut loose and close the doors?

Would the Gardeners' Rest's Grapevine completely dry up and become wrinkly old Prunes?
Would the Orange Squash rehydrate the Prunes to become Grapes again?

Nicos joined Wellie at the bar. They chinked glasses...
"To everyone that we know and love. May this New Year be incredibly forgiving, beautiful and healthy. May we put more into life than we get out of it, and may that make us twice as happy".

There was silence in every corner of The Gardener's Rest (all 20 of them!) and as each and every Grape raised their glasses to the toast.........

[Nicos]

" To a wonderful 2009 children" said MOM, closing her storybook.
Quietly - everyone turned round to see Piglet carrying the boxes of Xmas decorations into the cellar ( whist quickly scanning for a biscuit box full of seeds).

"Hmmm.....a wonderful year it shall be folks" said he

"Night All"