Gardeners Rest #16 ( 2021)

[Snoop Puss]

"Well", said Mary, "that's that sponge ruined. Just as well I was still at the stirring stage and hadn't put it in the oven, otherwise I might have burnt the house down. This is the third time this has happened to me this month already."

"Ooer", said Nicos. This was becoming her watchword of the season so far.

Rary was just goggle-eyed at the sight of the mince pies. Perhaps he should ditch some of the pasties from inside his tied-up nightie. Mind you, then everyone would see...

[Nicos]

….that there was a massive flock of his emergency smiles munching their way through them.
“Got a lot of hungry mouths to feed “ he said…

[rary]

Then Noddy, oops sorry Snoop thought it was time to take stock, GF had promised to make some Christmas puddings and evedently rary wasn't parting with the silver thrupenny bits, to be added into them, well not willingly, she of course was going to do a bit more baking, Plot70 was evedently trying to create an alternative fule source, to provide light if there was a power cut though Snoop had some doubts about beans and sprouts making enough gas to be of benefit, then there was the Tardis with its dalek and Nicos, mothhawk and greenishfing huddled together, and ofcourse there's! hold it what were those three talking about and casting furtive glances towards....

[Nicos]

…a large cardboard box which NTG was carrying whilst walking backwards.
“I’m walking backwards for Christmas” he was humming which set Rary off with his humming of “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”
Funnily enough the GR cats instantly ran away and the dogs started howling.
”Oooerr” said Nicos again as……

[Snoop Puss]

NTG proudly put the box down. "Took me a bit of effort to get that here, I can tell you", he said. "You'll be mightily impressed with me. Can't imagine there are many of these left in the world."

The box started to rattle and wriggle.

"Abominate, abominate, abominate", it said.

"Oh, that wasn't what I was expecting", Nick said. "What have you been teaching it, Rary?"

"Nothing to do with me", said Rary. "I've spent my whole time here eating." But it was true, he had been muttering under his breath while singing. But evidently he'd got the words muddled up... It should have been "abominable".

The box opened and out popped a very large white head. Everyone stood as far back as they could, fearing Nick had brought a polar bear and dalek cross into their midst, fear not being a very rational emotion, for how could such a thing be?

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the abominate snowman"...

[Nicos]

….”and I hate seeing people getting chilly so I’ve brought you all some preXmas gifts!”

Bending into the box ( he had to rearrange his waistline first to be able reach in properly) he pulled out a rather large red sack
”But - doesn’t that belong to Santa?” they all cried
”well technically yes , but he doesn’t need it just now!” and proceeded to pull out matching scarves and bobble hats and started handing them out. “No gloves I’m afraid cos snowmen don’t wear gloves and these are excess stock!”

”Funnily enough I’ve been busy knitting mittens and leg warmers” said greenishfing and pulled out a box filled with them - all colours of the rainbow!

Everyone gleefully started rummaging through the sac and box when the snowman spotted the wood fire burning brightly….

[Snoop Puss]

"Uh, oh", said the snowman.

"Ooer", said Nicos.

"Quick", said GF. "Put on one of these padded jackets. They keep us warm but with any luck it'll keep you cold."

"Quick thinking", Nick said, admiringly.

"So", said mothhawk. "Obviously no mulled cider for snowman, but what about a G&T with ice?"

"What a good idea", said Rary. He shot behind the bar and started shaking and stirring like he'd been doing it since the long-distant day when he was a nipper.

"A very good idea", said Mary, whom everyone had forgotten about, it must be said. "I can't drink on telly, it would ruin my image, but a little drop here won't matter. But then I'd better be going. Where's that fairy? Can she get me home?"

[greenishfing]

The fairy appeared as if by magic.

"You didn't look too happy travelling on the magic carpet Mary, but I've not got a lot of transport at the minute with it being Christmas. No sleighs, no donkeys, no camels......... I can lend you Cinderella's coach but you'll have to send it back by seven o' clock."

"Why? Does it turn back into a pumpkin then?" asked a curious Nicos.

The fairy rolled her eyes. "No, the pantomime starts then. By the way I think we should find somewhere cooler for that snowman or that puddle will turn into ......"

[Nicos]

….an ice rink “
“Oh wow”, cried the abominate snowman…(He thought he’d been losing weight!) and delved to the bottom of his sack and pulled out a selection of ice skates.
Mary loved skating , and whilst the fairy was freezing the puddle she laced up and set off doing spins and cherry flips ( yup those are real ice skating jumps!)
” Not the usual cherry flips I am associated with” she laughed…everyone was amazed….

[greenishfing]

The fairy waggled her wand again and music filled the room.......Ravel's Bolero. A hunchback with floppy hunch and an ugly sister with broken corsets took to the ice. Everyone held their breath waiting to see something amazing. It was like watching a puppeteer with broken fingers trying to control a pair of delapidated marionettes...... arms and legs everywhere.

[rary]

I wish I could skate thought rary, I should have learnt how to do this when I was younger (contrary to popular belief only a few short years ago) but the only thing I skated on was thin ice however if there is food associated with it I will do it, I want one of those cherry things, I wonder if it coated in caramel, not going to mention it to any of those women or I will get nothing

[lottie dolly]

NOW NOW RARY says LD on hearing him,we not all the same,and this is the season of good will,so will be fairy of anyones wishes,and therefore grant your wish RARY, at this LD flew away with the words,have a drink on me every one

[Nicos]

….unfortunately she had to fly back again as she’d forgotten to take Mary with her. Poor Mary was exhausted but had had a wonderful time.
Between Mary and the fairy - who in reality was Lottie in disguise having sprinkled magic powder into her hair - they left behind them a mahooooosive pile of festive cakes and pastries.
Rary did’t know which way to turn….mainly because he had absolutely no control over his skates. Worse in fact than one would have imagined as his floppy hump had got caught up in NTG’s broken corset….

[Nicos]

“Mind my fishnets “ called out NTG….

[Snoop Puss]

"There's a ladder in those big enough to climb up", said Greenishfing.

Rary and Nick looked at each other in disbelief. What was the world coming to?

Everyone else looked around them in disbelief at the state of the GR. It was worse than when they had arrived.

"Don't worry", said the abominable snowman. "I'll help you, I've got plenty of water stored in me and I can whizz round in a whoosh and it'll all be done in next to no time. Except you'll have to bung me in the freezer afterwards with all your ice blocks."

"Deal", said Nicos. "And how about we change your name to something a bit less of a mouthful?"

The abominate, abomination, abominable snowman hummed and hahhed for so long that Rary started to get impatient, the impatience for which youth is known. "Haven't you come up with anything yet?"

Yet... that sounded vaguely familiar, thought the Snowman. "How about Yeti?" he asked.

"Grand", said Nicos, keen to get on with sorting out the GR again... "Now where's Fluffy? She can help with spiking all the bits of paper before you get started, Yeti."

"What's this big blue box?" asked Yeti. "Do I need to clean in there too?"...