My BIL makes MY BLOOD BOIL

[ailsasyl]

I know what I want to say about her dad but I'd get banned!?! It makes my blood boil. Hope all goes well with the custody case an defo get on to the benefits people the money is for her not him.
Going to go and calm own now.

[Two_Sheds]

Her dad says she cant go to college or uni. ...Her dad only wants my sister to teach her how to peel potatoes, cook, iron etc.

Yes, he wants her benefit money, and he wants a housekeeper too. Brilliant if she can be shown another way ... college, university, a career

[kirsty b]

Thats shocking jackie. I'm sure your niece can learn to do the housekeeping side of things, but not to look after him!! She can use those skills to look after herself or her own family later in life.
Its going to be a hard road for you all, but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end. Your niece will appreciate all you are doing for her too.

[SlugLobber]

Just look after your niece, Jackie, and forget about your BIL. There's just no space in a decent brain for people like that.

I entirely agree with this comment. Sounds like he creates a lot of negative energy.

[dandy]

If he is claiming child benefit for her and she does not live there he is breaking the law. The child benefit goes with the child so the person looking after her should be able to claim it.

Dob him in!

[tricky]

good luck jackie
i hope your neice goes to uni nobody should have there right taken away from them .
and i hope she becomes a top laywer.
best of luck

[lynda66]

if it helps any jackie ..... regarding custody of children, when deciding where a child lives, the court will around 99% of the time go with what the child wants (especially when they are teenagers) ..... when my sons dad tried to get custody (by telling them i was a dug addict, and god knows what else, the court welfare officer sat with rob on his own, and asked him (aged 5/6) where he wanted to live ...... he said i want to live with my mum ...... my dads annoying, his wife doesn't like me, and only wants me for the child benefit (apparently he had overheard him and his wife discussing it) but i love my mum more than anything in the world ...... except my hamster ........ there was no doubt in the welfare womans mind where he was better off, and based entirely on what he said, his dad didn't stand a chance.

[jackie j]

Her dad wont stand a chance either, there are too many of us wanting the best for my niece and she wants to stay with my sister, mind you my niece doesnt get away with as much as she did with her dad, like staying out late not going to bed at a reasonable time etc. We have just found out that once she stayed with a friend and hid in the wardrobe because the friends mum drinks and the boyfriend she didnt like but it was better than going home !!! I have never liked him even tho he was married to my sister for over 25 years. I always rang her when he was at work never on his day off, how sad is that.
We are determined that she stays with my sister but as she doesnt want to go home even for a visit we wont force her to go any where she doesnt want to, they will never have a father daughter relationship which is what I missed out on cos my dad died when I was six. He doesnt have any relationship with one of his daughters and the other one only gets in touch occasionally.

[lynda66]

it's funny though .....isn't it, how much happier she is with rules ..... kids need rules, and actually even when they rebel a bit, they are usually much more thankful for them being there, than not ...... i'm sure everything will work out fine ...... all she 'really' needs is love and security, and to know she belongs ...... she has already lost so much, she will appreciate that more than anything

[jackie j]

Trouble is my sister spoilt her especially in the later days when my sister didnt have the strength to do anything else, it was easier for her to allow her daughter to do things even if she didnt agree. Out of sight out of mind, but who would wish for their children to see their parents suffer like that.

[Nicos]

13 is a special age jackie.....


YouTube - Kevin becomes a teenager - BBC comedy

[jackie j]

Isnt it just, my own daughter will be 13 in April yikes and my son will be 30 the day after yikes again.

[crazy_red]

Hope everything goes well for you, Jackie.

Red x

[FionaH]

As Red said I hope all goes well for her

[Glutton4...]

Your BIL makes MY blood boil.

He must have had some good in him for your sister to have married him in the first place. Strikes me he's just wallowing in self-pity and can't get over it or her. But there is no reason for him to behave like he is, perhaps a custody battle will wake him up?

My sister married a loser. She left him some ten years later, and they shared custody of my nephew. My sister now lives in Spain, nephew didn't want to go, but lives most of the time with his Grandma (father's mum), because his Dad spends all his time in the pub.

Strange things, families! X