Gardeners Rest #18 (2023)

[Snoop Puss]

But where to find bagpipes?

'Fairy', Rary asked, 'Am I allowed another wish?'

[rary]

Depends, said fairy, as long as the wish doesn't involve anyone getting hurt, I didn't think I could grant you your wishes, well thought rary, that will mean I won't be able to play the bagpipes nor sing some songs, as I can kill a tune in three cords flat, and I can't organise any highland dances, as with a king on the throne my dancing about could be too much for some of the girls, as it could give them high blood pressure and at their ages daren't take the risk, right I need to.......

[Nicos]

….think of something else then…..

[Florence Fennel]

I could talk the hind leg off a donkey if we had one but ...

[Snoop Puss]

'However', the fairy continued. 'The giant was trying to make a jacket from some of your old panto costumes but the design wasn't quite right. And I can see from up here that the rhythm sticks are hollow, so if you make some holes in those and poke them through the various openings in the jacket and then use an intact rhythm stick to blow through, I reckon you could make something that would approximate bag pipes.'

Everyone knew Nicos was a dab hand with a needle and thread, all those camper van, cushions, curtains and the like. She felt everyone's eyes on her...

[Nicos]

…she pulled out her Opinel knife, put on her specs, and set to…”.easy peasy lemon squeezy “ she could be heard muttering….pins and needles in mouth…”now we just need some….”…..

[rary]

But by now rary was away to see what Flo was meaning by, indeterminate age, did that mean she thought him so much younger than the rest of them????
meanwhile Nicos was being very industrious with knife and needl, Snoop decided to go and find her glasses as well, no one seemed to know why she needed her glasses, as Nicos was managing fine, well so everyone thought...

[Snoop Puss]

And indeed she was.

But Snoop wanted to have another inspect under the floorboard. So she needed her glasses. There was definitely more there than met the eye...

[nick the grief]

surprise!!!!

Snoop lept backwards squealing as ntg popped up fromunder the floor boards! ...

Sorry about that Snoop, I dropped a broach and it fell through a gap in the floor boards ... it was off my favourite ugly sister costume and some damn fool put the floorboard back still ...

[Florence Fennel]

looking for the jewellery, but I've found something that will be of great interest to you, it's a

[Snoop Puss]

Ruby elephant.

[nick the grief]

"Yes Snoop, it was my great Grandads... I come from a long line of female impersonators" ... but I have to keep fighting Nicos off as my dress is posher than hers

Still no harm done and how about ...

[Nicos]

…”Getting some of that there fizz in the corner into the fridge so it’s ready for midnight?….”

Fizz?….everyone looked around.

There in the corner was a crate of homemade Jerusalem Artichoke fizz he had brought in with him , along with a bottle of whisky for Hogmanay

“Urm…Urm…” they all thought……and “Urm” again……

[Snoop Puss]

They all looked at the fairy, who took pity on them, though partly, it has to be said, out of fear for her own safety and the atmosphere she might be forced to breathe...

She waved her wand and...

[Nicos]

…and everyone took cover…..