Trouble at School

[jackie j]

Flowers is having trouble at school with one of the girls. Flowers is in year eight but most of her friends are in year ten, one of the girls in year ten is giving her grief about it, saying things like why do you hang around with year tens etc etc. She has been really upset tonight cos she found out they were all talking about her on one of the buses on the way home ( she doesnt catch a bus ). I never had this trouble with the boys why are girls such bitches. Will phone the school tomorrow to get it sorted as its been going on for a while now. I have told her that this girl is jealous cos flowers is so popular at school. Always ready to help someone and stand up for them when they are in trouble.

[ailsasyl]

HB and her pals were getting grief from older boys in the playground and when she was walking home, I wrote a letter to her head of year, he kept an eye in the playground, and they were caught red handed throwing boiled sweets and then talking to them , teacher asked what was said pulled the boys in and no trouble since, I picked her up when I could whilst it was getting sorted,
I say let the school know so they can keep an eye encourage flowers to tell a teacher and her pals whats going on, I've found that once they know its out in the open they back off on the whole

[jackie j]

They are on msn talking about it and the girl in question is being very spiteful. There is always one who spoils things. The school is very good at dealing with things as soon as you let them know. They have student services which is excellent and discipline suite.

[ailsasyl]

Girls can be real nasty, HB's group was friends with one girl but she kept trying to play one of against the other, didn't work, HB and her other two pals told her so and now she not friends with them anymore.
HB gets comments made to her cause she's not into usual pop, high school musical stuff, wears bright clothes rather than latest thing, is clever at school etc, she often just says yes random thats me or at least I'm my own person, said to one boy after he'd called her teachers pet cause she'd put her view across in class, at least I'm clever enough to form an opinion if you have one let me know and I'll discuss it with you needless to say he looked at her blankly and walked away, have to add she knows him quite well otherwise she wouldn't have had the courage to say anything.

[kirsty b]

Girls really are bitches to each other at school. Hope it gets sorted soon, and that flowers' friends are not so easily led that they join in with it.
Sounds like jealousy to me.

[Matt.]

Its a part of life and growing up. Don't jump in straight away running to the teacher on their behalf and give them some distance to see how they get on. You can't fight their battles all their life. They'll come out of it stronger.

Good for them if they're clever and don't follow the others like sheep. Its a strong character that can do that. Let them realise others will be jealous and may well be spiteful. Thats life I'm afraid. You make your own way and can't please everyone no matter how hard you try.

[Two_Sheds]

...why are girls such bitches. Will phone the school tomorrow to get it sorted as its been going on for a while now. I have told her that this girl is jealous cos flowers is so popular at school. Always ready to help someone and stand up for them when they are in trouble.

we have this all the time at school. The boys fall out, they just ignore each other.
The girls fall out ... and it's all backstabbing, snide remarks, "she's not your friend", taking sides ....

its really sad.
We have endless "talks" after breaktimes, with the same group of girls who are constantly falling out, being spiteful to each other (they're as bad as each other). We talk about being nice to other people, even if you don't like them ~ it falls on deaf ears.

I suspect (having met some of the parents) that is how the mothers talk about other women, and the little girls have learned to be snide too.

Poor Flowers. If she is strong enough to do it, I would suggest she meet this other girl, (one to one, no gangs, no backup) talk face to face with the trouble maker, and ask her why she doesn't like Flowers? Bullies don't like to be confronted. She will be embarrassed probably, and it'll make her think twice.

Either that, or she just develop a thick skin. Smile, be nice, rise above it, don't be cowed. It will go on all her life, so she needs to develop the skills to deal with nasty people.

[kernowyon]

I have had the same problem with my eldest daughter B, she lives with her mum in the west country and was being abused racially. her mum went to the school to voice her concerns and spoke to the teacher, who tried to sort it out (allegedly) by refering it to the year head. then ..... nothing.

a month or so later it happened again and B was reluctant to go to school, I got a text from the school asking if there was any good reason for her not attending and to be honest it was the first I knew about it. I was furious and went on the website to get contact number for the headmaster, and found a page of policies which stated that you could phone up for copies.

so i phoned and asked for the bullying, harasment, racial equality and greivance policies, as I wanted to read these before I took It further. Funnily after I requested these and mentioning Ofsted etc within 30 seconds I was speaking to the Deputy headmaster.

I was then phoned back within two hours, and hopefully, the problem has been sorted.

As previously mentioned, girls are strange, the 'other girl' and B are now talking, Ok they are not 'friends' but they have put differences aside, these situations are complicated but if it gets out of hand and kids stop going to school then sometimes you just need to get higher powers involved before it affects the childs education.

[jackie j]

The girl sent a text last night saying sorry. It sounds like its because flowers talks to the boys as well, and this girl has said she doesnt want flowers to be hurt by one boy in particular. Jealousy. Flowers has four rather big 6ft plus brothers all in their 20's so I think she can handle boys !!! I have left it for her to sort out today as I do stand back but keep my eye on the ball. I told her to contact me today if she needs me to phone the school. We had problems with a boy when she first started and it was sorted very quickly when we mentioned the problem she was having. That boy needed special help and ended up in the special unit down the road.

[Two_Sheds]

this girl has said she doesnt want flowers to be hurt by one boy in particular. Jealousy.

This girl has probably been knocked back by the boy at some point. Jealous.

I had the same thing when I was 14 - me and my pal were "going out" with a couple of boys in the year above, and the girls in their class didn't like it.

There was a lot of "accidental" pushing and shoving in the corridors from this set of girls, leading to an almighty catfight between my best friend and them.

I don't like violence, so I stayed out of it. I took the diplomatic route: told the Head, who called us all into the office to sort it out. The girls were full of regrets and apologies ~ and of course the bitchiness continued, but was more subtle. This particular girl started coming into the shop where I had a Saturday job, and waiting for me after school

After one too many "accidental" shoves into a brick wall, I saw red: and I whacked this girl really hard round the head with a bag of Shakespeares She never bothered me again.