really annoyed, need to rant

[Two_Sheds]

The daft thing is, when she is with us she has a lovely time. A bit of stroppiness if she doesn't get her own way, but it soon blows over. I am very good at distracting kids with something more interesting (I work in a special needs class).

If she was really frightened of me, and hates me, why does she ask me if she can help to plant bulbs, shell beans, etc when Daddy is watching footy?
We had a grand day Sunday

[HeyWayne]

Th
Anyone else see a pattern here? Get married, have child, leave husband, keep house and child.

Have they been on Jeremy Vile yet?

[Finedon.Dandy]

Came on here to see why one of my friends needs a hug and I can see why - grrrrr

TS - how old is little one? I may have some HSM stuff of Bluebelles she can have. If not when you go shopping be prepared to pay a little extra for HSM branded stuff but its probally just sooooo well worth it to avoid so much hassle.

Germs are good - how is she gonna build up resistance to stuff if she doesnt come into contact with any - sounds like you show her a right old whale of a time with plenty of good old fashioned fresh air!

Its a shame if access has to be granted through the courts but then at least Mr TS will have more control over the situation and it will protect his little girl a little against all this nonsense.

Here if you need me hun. ((((HUGS))))

Tam

[ginger ninger]

I've just been reading about your plight T.S and it's disgusting what your having to put your self's through just to keep the "peace", Like you, it would make me angry that the real parent, ie her mum dosn't stop her new partner from interfering in what should be between Mr shed and her, and to use the little girl as a big stick to hit Mr Shed with is beyond contempt.
I think your both doing the right thing in going for proper parental rights so Mr Shed can have proper access to his daughter, and with regard to bending over backwards...there's only so much you can take.. and it sounds like you've reached your limit....stand straight and tall TOGETHER on this one, in the long run its all going to be worth it....Massive HUGS to both of you and Lots of luck . xx

[Finedon.Dandy]

Anyone else see a pattern here? Get married, have child, leave husband, keep house and child.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Hans Mum]

TS just carry on doing what youre doing when she does come to you giving her a good time and showing her different things, when she's older thats what she'll remember not the fact that youve got germs (havent we all!"!!) its a difficult place to be but chin up and keep smiling when she's around (stick pins in the mother/new husband when she's not)

[zazen999]

Yes, we had a set of pants, tops, jeans etc. She refused to wear them, they weren't HSM

Oh, the other thing this weekend... she's been told I have "germs"

I don't even know what HSM is

[HeyWayne]

I don't even know what HSM is

Derr! Heritage Seed Merchandise!

Sheesus. Get wid it girlfriend.

*clicks fingers*

[Sprocket*]

If the step father put so much effort into caring for the girl rather than filling her with poison she would be a lovely little thing all the time! I really feel for you. I have not been in this position but have gone through it with my best friend when her husband left her with a 9mth old.....Ummm she can be a pain and cause problems herself but the new woman reached new heights when she dragged her out of the house with the baby in her arms, and pushed her off the drive. She is now 5 and we still get "N**** said that I don't have to Mummy!"

I really think as hard as it is that you should formalise the arrangements with a solicitor then she is restricted by the CHILDRENS ACT and has to answer to the court rather than being a first class bovine.....

GRRRRR to her and even bigger GRRRRRRRRR to him.
Big hugs for you and Mr Shed xx

[bobleponge]

Any particular sort of germs??? The mind can boggle a bit.

T.S. We may not always agree about stuff, but please believe me (and the others that have said it) things WILL improve. At some stage in the future the littl'un wont be so little, and she WILL know what has been done to her. You will be seen as the good guys not the badd'uns, I promise you. She is clearly too young at the mo to realise it, but it will come.

I would agree with custodial access, that way if your visits do start to get messed about, get straight back to the courts, it wont happen again.
Like Mr S. I also never liked to make a fuss or complain, just smiled sweetly, but there comes a time when enough is clearly enough!! He may not want to, and I do appreciate that you dont actually wear the trousers in this particular debate, but for the good of everyone concerned, especially the young lady, you need to try and make him see that he HAS to do something. Perhaps get him to read this??

Good luck T.S. Having been there myself I sympathise hugely.
xx

[Sprocket*]

OH dear I am getting old, what is HSM?

[Incy]

What a horrible situation Two_Sheds. I really feel for you all and particularly for the little one who must be feeling really confused at all this.
Definitely go for formalised access arrangements if you can convince Mr TS.
My friend went through a very unpleasant divorce and really tried to keep things pleasant for her son's sake. Unfortunately her OH didn't do the same. Formalising access really helped and now that both parties have moved on to new relationships things have at least become civil between them. Her little one is now 3 and he too was really confused by it all.
Good Luck with whatever path you decide on. I definitely think you are doing the right thing in not retaliating.

[zazen999]

She is now 5 and we still get "N**** said that I don't have to Mummy!"

I was the total opposite with my OH's DD. She went through a spate of trying to find out what her 'bits' were REALLY called. When she was about 9. She went on and on and on and on - when her dad wasn't around to hear the questions....

Sigh....

I would ask her what her mum called them; and then say if that's what her mum called them - who am I to disagree?

I trot out the old 'hasn't your mum told/taught you...doesn't your mum do this or that?......whenever she is having problems 'remembering' to do things. Simple little things. But of course she defends her mum and thus in the process, drops herself into doing the thing that she should be doing anyway.

It is all very complicated when you are a step parent. Esp when you don't have them all that often as you have to go back in stages every time.

[RickinDarwen]

I think Daddy needs an ultimatum TBH.

Life is too short for you to be putting up with this BS.

[Finedon.Dandy]

I am sure you all know really but just in case................

H.S.M. - High School Musical (Grease in modern clothes )