Do you tell other people's children off?

[janeyo]

We had friends round oday for the afternoon and tea with children of age 7 and 5. My 2 are 4 and one. Theirs were running abot, jumping on sofas, trashing the playroom, y son's bedroom, taking food they insisted they wanted,then not eating it or throwing it away, wrestling on the sofas... etc. My 2 don't really behave like that and certainly not in other people's houses! I found some nuts and marbles in the baby's room at bedtime and he is way too small to have stuff like that about.

Just wondered who tells other people's children off in situation like that? Their own parents seemed blind to it!

I am a teacher and am quite used to telling off children but surely it shouldn't be my job when parents are about?

Yes I know they are only children, but it was definitely showing a lack of respect for other people's toys / property etc.

Feel a bit disgruntled.

janeyo

[kitchengardner]

We had friends round oday for the afternoon and tea with children of age 7 and 5. My 2 are 4 and one. Theirs were running abot, jumping on sofas, trashing the playroom, y son's bedroom, taking food they insisted they wanted,then not eating it or throwing it away, wrestling on the sofas... etc. My 2 don't really behave like that and certainly not in other people's houses! I found some nuts and marbles in the baby's room at bedtime and he is way too small to have stuff like that about.

Just wondered who tells other people's children off in situation like that? Their own parents seemed blind to it!

I am a teacher and am quite used to telling off children but surely it shouldn't be my job when parents are about?

Yes I know they are only children, but it was definitely showing a lack of respect for other people's toys / property etc.

Feel a bit disgruntled.

janeyo

If I notice the behaviour at the time I would say something diplomatic like "ooh do be careful with that" or "mind you don't hurt yourself". If the parents don't spot the hint then I bluntly tell the child to pack it in!

If it was afterwards that I noticed something (like the bathroom example) I would mention to the parents the next time I saw them in a firm but polite way,

Fortunately I rarely have this problem as most kids tend to hide behind their parents when i am around on account I look large & mean enough to eat them!

Regards

Kitchen Gardener

[Alice]

I can see why it upset you Janeyo, but I think in todays climate you can't tell other people's children off . I think the strongest you can go is John (own childs name) is not allowed to do that. The only solution is just not to invite them back.
It just amazes me that people will allow their children to behave like that.
But it's not everybody, I see some beautifully behaved children.

[yoanbob]

I tell other peoples kids off, I believe that their relationship with me is between me and the kids, Im more leanient than some friends are are less than others but the kids know how far they can go with me because I tell them. I dont always tell the parents if the kids have behaved badly while in my care as if Ive sorted it out with the kids there is no need for their parents to tell them off again, only exception is when we havnt sorted it out between ourselves.
also if the kids are allowed at home to get away with it then the parents wont notice at your house you have to step in and tell the kids where the boundrys are in your house.

[lynda66]

it's not often i have other peoples children, but yep, if they are doing things i find unacceptable, then i will say please don't do that, and if they don't do as i say, i'll tell them off, parents or not ..... mind you anyone i do know with kids knows what i'm like lol ...... if the parents don't like it, then they won't bring em again

[Glutton4...]

If they can't/won't control them, then yes. It's your house, your rules.

I had this with my bestest friend; her two boys always had a very long leash, and were an absolute nightmare - drove me mad, so I only invited her round when they were elsewhere.

Yes I know that not having kids of my own probably makes me less tolerant, but I wasn't the only one to complain about them. Now they're older they are lovely boys, but still 'adventurous.'

Have them for a day, without her - they'll soon learn, especially if you get them to help you with the little one, and explain things as you go. Their brains are like sponges and they'll just soak it up.

God luck!

[kirsty b]

My roof, my rules.
If behaviour under my roof is unacceptable, they get told firmly (but not nastily) that I don't allow (whatever it is) in my house.

I respect the rights of other parents to tell mine if she were to overstep the mark in their houses. Thankfully though most of Lauren's mates are pretty nice kids. If anything, she gets a bit show-offy and I have to tell her to behave.

[FionaH]

I have always worked on the theory My House, My rules. If they dont know the rules then you have to tell them. Some parents do get precious about it but to be honest thats their problem.

[jackie j]

Tell them when they start doing something you dont allow your children to do in your house let alone anybody else's. I was with my niece and nephew and they each have a child nephew little boy aged 4, niece little girl aged 3, the 4 year old is a nightmare you need eyes in the back, sides and front of your head, he isnt naughty just pushing the boundries when he is with his dad as they are seperated and dad doesnt always jump like mums do. I took something away from the little boy because he was hitting people ( all family ) with it and altough funny to start with became silly. I also told him off and called him back when it looked like he was doing a dissapearing act !!! If children are naughty when at other peoples houses it spoils the day for everybody else. I stopped taking my boys out when they were little because they were playing up all the time and their dad didnt seem to take control and it was always left to me and with four boys it became hard work and I couldnt enjoy myself or relax. We would only go to the park or the beach somewhere they could let off steam and I didnt need to worry too much.
I hate it when in cafe's or resturants and kids are allowed to run around getting in the way dont the parents realise the danger with hot food and drinks around. Also in shops where they run around, take them to the park to do that not the shops, Older kids I have told off saying this is not a playground. I get some looks but I dont care.
Next time say to the parents that you dont allow your kids to jump on the furniture so please could you stop them or I will.

[Two_Sheds]

Another vote here for My Roof, My Rules.

You can tell them in a way that is firm but still friendly. I would tend to use my eyes a lot (the Paddington Stare) to let them know non-verbally (with my back to the parents, lol) that I'm not happy.

If they've made a mess, I'd call them all back, really cheerfully, and say "right kids, now time to clean this all up, and then you can have a treat. No tidy, no treats"

[vicky]

Def your own rules in your own house (I can't believe the parents let them behave like that in front of them!). Also I am happy for other parents to tell mine off if they are misbehaving in someone else's house.

[Flummery]

I would certainly tell them off - politely. It's fine to say 'We don't do that in this house' and ask for the parent's to back you up. If they don't like it - they needen't bring their horrors (whoops, treasures) - here any more!

[piskieinboots]

see I don't have this problem because Snowdrop knows how to behave in other peoples houses ...
...give 'em the 'my roof, my rules' glare

[percy charlie]

i tell my friends kids if the miss behave its usually asking them to calm down a bit as they get over excited so long as it nice but firm i also get them to all tidy up what theyve had before getting out a new batch of toys so its not so caotic. i also tell my own child in our home if not behaving with her friends and if miss behaving at some one elses but she is usually wonderfully behaved so never worry and shes always been invited back. im also careful when an argument between the kids start to never just back my own and to get both sides this way my child knows she cant get away with bad behaviour if she was out of my sight in the house even for a few seconds, as we have a toy room and her bedroom is down stairs. my friends and i all have the same policy you cant condone bad behaviour and if naughty who ever spots it does the telling off, but we have all been friends for a long time and trust each other. if my daughter goes to play or out for the day with someone i always say to them if she miss behaves tell her off, i never allow anyone to smack my child as punishment for bad behaviour but a telling off in my book is perfectly acceptable, if not told how will they know the behaviour may not be acceptable outside there home.

[di]

......if needs be...yes!!!I'd never shout at someone elses child,but if I see them doing something that I consider out of order,then I tell them so.Also,I accept that there's times that mine may do something they shouldn't & am more than happy for another adult to pull them up for it.