Gardeners Rest #19 (2024)

[Nicos]

A ‘fast cookie’ indeed is our Snoop…with a twist of her hip and a flick of her wrist, the Xmas tree was adorned with sparkling mince pies

”Well” said Nicos (absolutely astounded by Snoops skilful aim) “that beats me hands down for accuracy!”

[lottie dolly]

miz Spelling wants know just how the hek the pies got from the plate in the bar, to the tree,as that is not very hygene,if you not hold yourself in check,the cost of clean up ext WILL be added to your bill,as i not got enough to do today,talk about while the cats away,talk of which,i have not seen the ginger tom about,you lot have scared him away,i hope he gone back to FF,a lt safer there,she goes away to lay down in a darkened room.

[rary]

Good evening said rary, walking in to the bar, just popped in to let you know that I will not be in to the bar very often this year, due to the fact I am far outnumbered by women of the opposite sex 🤔 did that sound right?🙄 anyway as no doubt you all know I am extremely shy and easily intimidated, so due to that I will limit my attendance, plus I have went teatotal so dont want tempted by anything or anybody, but before I go out again I need to ask a question of Snoop, I know you have been having problems with heavy rain fall, but why do you need three bridges I know you have a large area to cover but three bridges must be a pain to maintain, I will get your answer the next time I come in, so with that I will wish you all a goodnight

[Snoop Puss]

Snoop was so focused on the issue of the bridges that she very nearly missed rary's remark about going teetotal. Very healthy and extremely commendable, but not at all what she expected. Just as well the GR served teas, coffees and soft drinks.

"As for the bridges", she replied to rary, "they were very expensive to install, but so far maintenance free." And to Flo she remarked, "they provide no advantage when playing pool to my knowledge. But as I've never actually played pool, I won't know for sure till I've tried."

And whispering to Nicos, in the hope that Miz Spelling wouldn't hear, "I remember there used to be mice at the GR before the refurbishment. If they're still here, they'll help clean up any crumbs from the pies."

[Nicos]

But yes of course Snoop….plenty still around but don’t let on - Hibou has done her best, but the darn things keep arriving!…nice and warm and snug in here for them I guess?

[greenishfing]

Aaaarrrggghhh!!!! I am renowned for having ears like a bat ..... (and exceptional close-up vision). I am also phobic about "those creatures".

You may well come across me atop the Christmas tree along with the fairy if I so much as glimpse one.

[lottie dolly]

EXCUSE ME PLEASE young ladeeeeezzzz, piped up Miz Spelling,i head that,this establishment is vermin free,NOT free vermin,if you have seen one then it must have come in with one of you that has SIGNED in,as bridges,that would be referance to one of our card games,just for your information,see i aim to help where i can,also,re to mince pies flying around,may suggest ,merely for your benefit,that you try our range of soft drinks,and leave the alcohol where it it,to those that drink guinness,if you not aware already,they are rationed,on account of a shortage,and will only be sold to those who have aready purchased several other drinks,i meant to notify you all of this earlier on,but,as you remember,i had to turn my hand to a chaimermaid for the day,thanks to one of you here,but i take it on the chin,as is i take my roll seriously,

[lottie dolly]

Where are my manners,welcome rary,would you like to be our Father Chrismas on chistmas eve,evening,we have a suit ready,it will be great for us to take turnes of cause,to sit on your knee and and,storke your white beard,no doubt it will change to a darker shade by the time they all wiped their sticky finger on it,your room and food ext would of cause be free,just for you,please bring your better half,as she can oversee none overstep the mark

[Nicos]

Nicos and Mrs Go-4it were nodding enthusiastically at the idea of rary being Santa ( although of course we know how busy he can be at this time of year)

Still feeling very light headed Nicos headed off to bed…

[greenishfing]

Mrs Go-4it and her team had spent hours checking all the items in their stores to make sure nothing else was adulterated with cement or worse. She had also informed the police .... in case things escalated. Who on earth would do such a thing?

Today was sausage rolls made with proper flaky pastry. She was hoping for great things from the bakers.

She wandered into the dining room, to check on the guests. Everyone seemed happy ..... so far today.

[Snoop Puss]

Snoop was relieved to hear that Miz Spelling was not referring to her bridges. The idea that she might bring mice in to the GR in her mouth was utterly and unspeakably repellent.

On the positive side, she had been put off the idea of any more food for the day, which would save a few calories for the next bake-off tasting session. Mind you, she still hadn't had a mince pie...

But again, on the positive side, she was hoping that Rary would agree to be Santa and that she would get to meet Mrs Rary, who undoubtedly was not at all a tidiness and cleanliness ogre.

Oops, there was a word not to mention in the GR. Despite the refurbishment, odd things were happening. Her unexpected squiffiness after her first coffee, the untidy belongings all over the floor in someone's room, the winking fairy, the concrete and then flying mince pies and, most miraculous of all, the free dentistry... Mind you, she was sure Miz Spellling and Mrs Go-4it would keep things under control. Especially with Mrs Rary's help if she came to stay.

On the negative side, she had never played bridge and didn't have the foggiest idea about it. Except that when she'd seen people playing in TV programmes, the game seemed to stir up a high degree of animosity between players and their partners.

[lottie dolly]

Greeting everyone,Said Miz Spelling,hope you all had a good sleep again,the very comfey beds obviously do their magic,seeing how you all have boundless streams of energy,we have however,had to remove the drinks cabinets from each of our rooms,Iam pleased also to say that a new chamber maid has been appointed,or should i say chaimber man,so please treat him with respect,he is a little shy,/reserved,call it what you like,I wish you happy tastings at the bake off,and hope not too many feet get tangled up in our line dance session this evening,remember that Bramble will be here to assist and guide,for those that are not keen on takeing part,there is an area reserved for the shake the body around the handbags ,in time to the music being played,so wish you all another delightfull day

[Snoop Puss]

Snoop thought she might try her feet at the line dance and if she turned out to be a clodhopper, she'd go and shake the rest of her around the handbags. She'd better go and find the programme of events, see what time it started.

[rary]

Where are my manners,welcome rary,would you like to be our Father Chrismas on chistmas eve,evening,we have a suit ready,it will be great for us to take turnes of cause,to sit on your knee and and,storke your white beard

To answer your question No No No

As for sitting on my knee, as I have replacement knees and there is a load limit of 336lbs. on them so I would be unable to accommodate any of you on my knees, and there will be no stroking of beards or anything else, as I have just washed all my hats and caps etc.

[Florence Fennel]

We'll take that as a Bah Humbug then. I expect you needed the knees to bear plenty of weight Rary