Kids!!! It Never Gets Any Easier.

[bluemoon]

MY daughter phoned last night asking if I'd care for her friend's cat while they went away for a week. The week in question is 23rd December onwards. I have a dog who really hates cats as he's just not used to them. I have 14 people coming for Christmas Dinner, one of whom is a toddler. The only thing I could do would be to have the cat (and its litter tray ) in the sitting-room and make the dogs sleep in the dining-room for a week. I'd spend all Christmas keeping the dogs off the cat and the toddler out of the litter. I said no. I never say no, but I'm really not prepared to have Christmas ruined because of it. Now though I feel really bad about it and, as the cat actually belongs to her partner's friend, I'm worried that the partner might sulk and make everyone's life a misery on Christmas Day (he's the sort of person to do that). Also it turns out that the 'cat' is an 8 week old kitten and I don't think it would hurt for it to stay with its mum for a few extra days. Now I'm wondering what would be worse, putting up with the kitten or putting up with the sulky boyfriend. At the moment I'm leaning towards putting up with the boyfriend, at least I can chuck him out in the snow if he really gets on my nerves and I couldn't do that to a sweet little kitty. But now I'm worried about what will happen to the kitten if it doesn't come to me. I've suggested that it stays with its mum, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that these people listen to me. I mean, why take on a new pet then immediately leave it behind to go on holiday?

[di]

Well Done for managing the NO word!!!Now stick with it!
I don't get why,as mother of the girlfriend of the friends friend,you should feel obliged to help out???Like you said,surely it would be better for it to stay put with it's mum until they return from their hols.
Stick to your guns!!!

[BrideXIII]

I agree, plus you are dead right about getting a kitten and then leaving it with someone else straight away, far better if it can stay with its mum for an extra week, mine don't go until 12 weeks anyway, just because i think it does them good to stay a bit longer and learn their manners from their mum.

gotta start saying No sometime, may as well be now when you know you are right!

[Nicos]

If your daughter and her partner are staying with you is there any harm in the kitten and litter tray staying in their bedroom the whole time ? (You'd need to put something on the bed in case it wants to wee)


8 weeks? ...I'd ask the original owner to keep it a bit longer too though!

You are the one doing all the hard work...it's not fair to make you feel uncomfortable when you're already doing the utmost to give them a fun time.

( doesn't this friend have other friends to ask???)

[bluemoon]

I don't get why,as mother of the girlfriend of the friends friend,you should feel obliged to help out

I think I'm seen as a bit of a soft touch. I already have a 6 year old dog who came to stay with me "for a week or two" as a pup. (naturally I love him to bits now and would never part with him). But to be honest I thought it was a bit of a strange request too. Her boyfriend has not been brought up with animals, his own mum would never agree and I think he has this idea that because our dogs are well behaved they don't require any work except a bowl of food a couple of times a day. He doesn't seem to realize that they're this well behaved BECAUSE I put the work in. They're quiet indoors because OH walks miles with them and we spend lots of time with them.
If it had been an older cat and, for example, a family emergency then I'd have tried to help - or at least found someone else who could - but this just seems like an immature couple who've decided to take the kitten without any real thought to the responsibility needed. My other daughter seems to think that the kitten will be given to someone else if they don't take it Tuesday when the rest of the litter leave mum and I'm tempted to think that that might be the best thing for it.

Unfortunately Nicos, daughter and boyfriend are only here from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day, then they're off to Scotland for a few days.

[bobleponge]

Its a toughie when it comes to your kids, and also to sweet little kitties but I think you have done the right thing. 8 weeks is too young (imho) to be leaving its mum, another few days wont hurt, and anyway, chucking boyfriend in the snow if he sulks might be good fun.
Good luck.

[jackie j]

Yes leave it with the mum for a bit longer maybe if they offered a weeks worth of food they might help out.

[Comfreyfan]

Saying No to them can be so hard. But I've discovered if you say No sometimes, they appreciate the yes's so much more. It's lovely that they know they can depend on you in an emergency, but sometimes the answer has to be no and you don't have to have a dozen reasons to justify it.

I had to say no recently and then found myself apologising, but DD said 'That's ok mum, you're always helping us out' - I nearly gave in (but I didn't)

[lynda66]

this is the exact reason why most rehoming centres won't rehome animals at christmas, christmas is a stressful time to be in a new place anyway, being shut away from people after just leaving it's mum is not fair, they need constant attention when they have just left everything they know behind, and having a load of strangers round will probably traumatise the poor thing ....... i think you did the right thing saying no too xx

[SarzWix]

Totally agree with what you've done. If the kitten can't go straight to it's new home and stay there, then it shouldn't be leaving the mother. And I'd have to question whether it should be going to these people anyway, if they think it's right to palm it off on someone they don't know the minute they get it!

[kirsty b]

You did right. Not fair on kitty at all to be shunted about when so young. Not fair on you to be expected to take on the extra responsibilty when you are already so busy.

[MaureenHall]

Definitely the right thing to do! I'm not sure that the kitten should be going to this person either if he thinks he can just pass it around to whoever when he's got "more important" things to do. The kitten would have a far better life with someone who's going to love it and care for it from day 1

[bluemoon]

Well the good news is that the kitten is staying with mum until the new year. I feel a little better about the situation now as I've found out a bit more about the new owners and it seems that they've had a cat, but lost her recently when she was knocked down. Prior to that they were responsible people and took her to a licensed cattery when they went away, the problem with the kitten was that it was too young and wouldn't have had its jabs either. Anyway it seems that the mum's owner is quite happy to keep it until they return from holiday, it's just that until I suggested it they hadn't liked asking and were worried that the kitten would be given to someone else. They'd fallen in love with it so didn't want that to happen. A case of their hearts ruling their heads by the sound of it.

[BrideXIII]

well there ya go, you trusted your instincts and its all turned out for the best well done.