Advice on Settling Toby please

[Finedon.Dandy]

For those that dont know we got a cat on Monday. He is an ex stray of around 1-3 years old and has just recently had THE op!

When he arrived on Monday afternoon we left him to decide when to come out of the basket. He took about an hour but then snuck out of the basket without us seeing and we eventualy found him hidden in the back of the pantry. We got him out once I had moved the hoover, trolley, wine rack (full!) and the spare tiles to get to him! He then spent the night in our bedroom, leaving our cat Lilly to her usual run of the kitchen, dining areas and utility. He stayed in his upturned box most of the night. As we had guests on Tuesday he spent most of the day still there and seemed quite happy. Tuesday night he decided he quite liked me and wouldnt settle until it was at the expense of my comfort! so I didnt get much sleep. We tried to make the next day as normal as possible but he immediately disappeared behind the sofa much to Lillys annoyance as she has been using that spot to hide from him! My brother-in-law stayed over last night and agreed to have him in with him so I could get a full nights sleep but he was a right pain, only settleing with the light on and some fuss being made so my BIL didnt get to sleep till 7am!

He doesnt seem to be eating much, only been having around one pouch and some crunch every 24 hours or so. Toilet wise he seems ok. I know Lilly is probaly on edge as his scent indicates he is a full male and that will take a couple of months to disappear but can we leave them together over night or will they fight? We tried to show Lilly him, as she just wont go near and seems realy frightened but she just hissed and ran away again - they both just keep avoiding each other - is this normal? Toby doesnt even seem to want to go and explore as other new cats I have had have done?

Hope you can come up with some reassurance,

Tammy

[BrideXIII]

yu aint gonna like this

yes they will fight, if lily feels the need to put him in his place, he may ( as you think) have male scent, but trust me as a neuter he just got busted right down in rank, hopefully he knows that and will not push his luck, if he does lily will kick his ass.

he is as a new cat, not kitten,he is gonna hide a lot, let him alone, let him hide he is just finding his place in his new 'pack' if you try to find it for him, you are going to screw him up, let him find his own level, he already knows he is safe, or he would be gone, and trust me closed doors wont stop him, he just needs to find the point where he can fit in.stop moving things to accomodate him, he wants them where they were, you move stuff, he gets nervous.

If a cat is hungry enough he will eat..........or leave, keep putting the food down, twice a day, give it 20 minutes then take it up again, you dictate when they eat, they eat when you dictate.

and if lily and he want to avoid each other, let them, you cant MAKE them like each other, you wouldn't do it to your kids, don't do it to your cats, if they are avoiding its because they are settling things between them without it coming to a fight, don't force the issue, they are better at it than we are.

[Two_Sheds]

Um ... like what Bride said

Let him (and Lily) have a safe place each to hide in, and leave them to get on with it. They probably won't be pals, but may learn to tolerate each other.

[allotmentlady]

its tough, you dont him proper yet and he isnt sure of you or lily but with time things will settle down and you will wonder what all the fuss is about, you got a piccie of him? :-)

[Finedon.Dandy]

Thanks Guys that all makes alot of sense and I feel alot better now. Think cos we now have to keep the bunnies apart (or they will fight to the death apparently) in two seperate hutches, I am worried as I cannot divide our home in half just to keep the cats seperate!

[Finedon.Dandy]

its tough, you dont him proper yet and he isnt sure of you or lily but with time things will settle down and you will wonder what all the fuss is about, you got a piccie of him? :-)

He is 6.1 kg - not fat looking, quite tall and the bulk is all muscle. He has huge paws and is a big softy from what we have seen, once he isnt hiding. He seems to be a real night cat as thats when he wants to be our friend!

[FionaH]

Yup I agree with Bride on most of that. Let em get on with it and good luck

you dictate when they eat, they eat when you dictate.

Bride could you come round here and explain this concept to my cat please?

[BarleySugar]

Imagine the pestering I get from 6! I have to give in if I want any peace

[jackie j]

we had two cats until recently chocolate is still missing but the female used to beat him up lol she was the boss, if he came in she would wait and pounce on him. quite funny but we would tell her off.

[BrideXIII]

Yup I agree with Bride on most of that. Let em get on with it and good luck




Bride could you come round here and explain this concept to my cat please?

sweetheart you know i could, me armed with fresh chicken wings, you with your kibble? you just know its gonna be me thrown to the floor and eaten first

[lynda66]

Asbo is now 2 years old, and cleo is now 9 months, ..... when she first moved in, he hid for about 3 days, he would run away if she went near him, or sit and growl, over the last 7 months, there have been some fights, usually cos every time he passes she jumps on him trying to play, he growls and hisses at her at her all the time, if she gets too close, basically he hates her, but as long as she stays away from him he's happy. they still fight occasionally, but it's usually just him being a wimp.

give each cat a safe place to sleep, even though they will probably ignore it ...... and leave them to it, you interfering won't help them, they will sort it out, don't pander to him at nights, he needs to learn nights are for sleeping,(will take time) let him choose if he wants to sleep with you.

as an ex stray, night times are when he would have done some of his hunting, so he is more likely to be lively at night, as that's what he's used to.

If he were mine, i'd leave the doors open at night, so he can explore, and just let them get on with it ....

oh and regards food, as a stray food wouldn't have been there all the time, so he is probably just not used to having so much of it, don't worry, it's all just a learning process, it will all take time, you just have to treat him like a cat ...... cos even if he is really a ikkle people ....... he's a cat ikkle people

[BrideXIII]

you just have to treat him like a cat ...... cos even if he is really a ikkle people ....... he's a cat ikkle people

yes dear ...no really................*shhhh anyone got her pills handy?*

[Nicos]

Make sure they have enough litter trays to have access to- the last thing you need is peein on a bed/sofa/corner of a room

[allotmentlady]

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He is 6.1 kg - not fat looking, quite tall and the bulk is all muscle. He has huge paws and is a big softy from what we have seen, once he isnt hiding. He seems to be a real night cat as thats when he wants to be our friend!

He is beautiful, with time all be okay. Good luck, also spend a bit more time mollycoddling him, he will feel accepted more, also routine is good

[kirsty b]

"Most cats are nervous and ill at ease when taken out of their territory, which is why cat books go on about putting butter on their paws and so on, presumably because constantly skidding into the walls will take the animal's mind off where the walls actually are"

You can thank the great Terry Pratchett (Maskerade) for that gem. Remembered it cos it made me laugh out loud when I first read it.