Please can you all help me get something into perspective?

[Finedon.Dandy]

Even more good advice. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing Bramble trying for a third child - being one of three does have its problems! Rat, Middle sister will be Matrod of Honour as she too is married. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times now so maybe I am adicted! Mind you I am looking forward to the day - when I think what the Bridesmaids get up to I dont think I will end up missing out too much (photos - they will include me I am sure, organising hen night - I have had an input and I made all the wedding stationery) and sister asking me to do a reading is quite special - as long as I can hold it together and dont blub! Feeling a whole lot better, kids in bed (lets hope they stay there!) and ready to get to sleep without wondering what every single noise is! - anyone else ever done that?

[RedThorn]

I have been a bridesmaid 3 times now so maybe I am adicted!

You've got a "27 dresses" thing going?

yah yah OH had me watch....promise

[Finedon.Dandy]

Thanks Kirsty - was adopted by my Mum when she married my Dad, before my sisters came along, and although they dont trear me any different I cannot help feeling a little bit like the black, ok grey! sheep of the family

HW - trust you! Thanks Dude!

[Finedon.Dandy]

You've got a "27 dresses" thing going?

yah yah OH had me watch....promise

Will have to watch it so I know if I have the thing going or not!

[HeyWayne]

Thanks Kirsty - was adopted by my Mum when she married my Dad, before my sisters came along, and although they dont trear me any different I cannot help feeling a little bit like the black, ok grey! sheep of the family

HW - trust you! Thanks Dude!

I'm the same - my brother and sister (both younger) are a lot closer to each other than I am to either. I'm seen as the "boring/sensible" one. They go out clubbing together with their respective other halves whilst LadyWayne and I are more likely to have people over for dinner. Even families have their differences.

You're welcome by the way.

[Glutton4...]

... I'm seen as the "boring/sensible" one...

Jeeeeze - they must be crazies!

[HeyWayne]

Jeeeeze - they must be crazies!

Oi! I resemble that remark.

It's all relatives.

[Glutton4...]

...I wouldn't want to be seen dead in a big frufru bridesmade dress...walking down behind a froofroo bride with lots of people staring at me...

I'm with you on that one - did it for my Sister (I wore piiiiiink - sooooo not me) I always said if I got married it'd be in my Jodhpurs but I wore a suit instead - probably the last time I wore a skirt...

[pigletwillie]

You can be mine Piglet, how does full length, strapless, champagne satin grab yer?

I am soooooo there. Piskie, wax me!

[kirsty b]

Has he got a stick to bite on?

[bluemoon]

FD, Buy yourself a knockout outfit, cultivate a superior smile for when you see the bridesmaids in their silly dresses, then sit back and enjoy watching your kids having a great day. If you still have doubts I'll send you the photos of my daughter's recent wedding; the bridesmaids wore pale blue silk and were so cold it's impossible to tell where dress ended and flesh began (this is TRUE!). I have the opposite problem to you, my mum lives about 15 miles away from me and I see her at least twice a week and am just so taken for granted. My brothers live away (one in Leicestershire and one in Gloucestershire), rarely visit her yet can do no wrong as far as she is concerned. I'm never involved in plans, I'm just told what's happening when they've arranged it all, even though it will then be me who's sent off to do the work of organising/shopping/phoning in order to get whatever it is off the ground.

[Finedon.Dandy]

Thank you Blue Moon. Have spoken to a wonderful lady who was listed in the Thompson under dress makers and she seems to think she can work miracles! She quoted me £170 which I was a bit *eeeek* about but as long as its something I can wear again I will be happy as the bridesmaids have all spent at least that anyway. I am getting a bit more excited now - think my self esteem isnt very well and I was more worried about what I will look like as the sad older sister rather than view it in a positive way as you have suggested. I am seeing this lady on Friday with a swatch of the bridesmaids material and a picture so I can tie in with them. In fact the more I think about it I want to do no more than compliment them - I just want compliments for myself!

Thanks again also to the naughty steppers for changing the subject and helping me to cheer up.

[moggssue]

Hey Tammy - firstly a big [[[[[hug]]]]] cos we're all your family too!

Secondly, I have no sisters (or brothers) and in the past would have done anything for one, even to argue with! I got games for christmas and had nobody to play them with, grew up a solitary and shy only child (still am). I had a cousin who I was fairly close to, but the families fell out and so I didnt even see her for years. Coming home from foreign holidays, OH always rings his mum and brother to let them know he's safely home - I have nobody to ring, nobody to worry if I'm safe, nobody who knew me when I was a child to share memories with, laugh and cry with over past events (and yes, even to argue with over them!)

Then I moved 3hrs down the motorway to be with OH. Now that cousin spends several weekends a year with us, we are as close as sisters, my OH and hers are great friends, and I am finally an aunty to her two babies. I think that's all partly because of the distance, in that we choose when to get together and make an effort to do enjoyable stuff when we are together. Arguments and frustrations and differences accepted, always be grateful for your family.

Sorry, just wanted to put a slightly different perspective on the whole issue! Now go enjoy the wedding, relax and let others stress instead honey.

[di]

Pleased you're feeling a bit cheerier about the situation Tammy....sure your family haven't/don't intentionally leave you out of stuff.There's occassions I feel the same...my mum & middle sis almost live in each others pockets,but I know there's reasons,far too longwinded to go into.Also,my parents know that we enjoy doing stuff as our little family unit & that we also have a few really close pals,so I don't think they feel the need to always include us in stuff,whereas my sis has a totally different life....illness/poor relationship with hubby & difficulty with her boys,so I think the reasons they have for spending so much time with her are more to help her out than to make me feel left out.Don't know about you,but for me the more I sit a dtew about something,the more paranoid I can get about something....turning it into something personal when it really isn't.
As for the whole bridesmaid thing....so much more scope for looking glam & you as sister of the bride than in having to wear a frilly number that mightn't compliment you at all....I'd absolutely be filled with dread if I were asked to be bridesmaid.

[SlugLobber]

Glad you're feeling a bit more cheery, but don't feel bad about getting emotional. You've had a tough time of late, so not surprising and even those having an easy time of it, feel down sometimes.