Never mind knife crime

[HeyWayne]

I was just attacked by a vicious sheet of paper!

Sorting out some brochures and it just lashed out at me - damn near sliced the tip of my finger off!!

See a 6ft 7, 18st man wince and say something like "ow, that hurt"*

Bled quite a bit too - and bladdy sods law it's on the tip of my most prolific typing finger.

* quote may have been enhanced post-production

[janeyo]

Oooh ooh ouch, makes the tips of my fingers fo funny thinking about it.
Ouch indeed!

I think the cardboard ones are worse though.

janeyo

[Paul Wagland]

Oooooh, my sympathy. I've got a splinter under my thumb nail, if that makes you feel any better?

Can someone scientific please explain why the small injuries hurt the most?

[janeyo]

I've had a great thought, poor LW about to give birth, maybe HW needs to have paper cuts inflicted on parts of his anatomy to even things up a bit

janeyo

[Rhona]

Do you know what, it's only a matter of time before "young folk" are gathering on street corners, clutching a bit of A4, talking about 'respect' and threatening innocent passers by with a packet of multi-card dividers.

You should have hole-punched it. It's the only way to deal with unprovoked attacks like that.

[Rhona]

I've had a great thought, poor LW about to give birth, maybe HW needs to have paper cuts inflicted on parts of his anatomy to even things up a bit

janeyo

Or maybe HW suggesting to LW that the two are similar - paper cuts and child birth - and LW might feel compelled to 'even things up a bit' with a pointy shoe?

[di]

Do you know what, it's only a matter of time before "young folk" are gathering on street corners, clutching a bit of A4, talking about 'respect' and threatening innocent passers by with a packet of multi-card dividers.

...or the H&S Brigade go madder than ever & decide to ban paper in schools!

[HeyWayne]

Or maybe HW suggesting to LW that the two are similar - paper cuts and child birth - and LW might feel compelled to 'even things up a bit' with a pointy shoe?

Hey, c'mon - credit me with some intelligence.

Don't worry though, I took the offending little sheet outside for a thorough laminating, and he'll do no-one any harm ever again. He's spending the rest of his days behind a sheet of perspex 75 microns thick!

[Flummery]

Oooooh, my sympathy. I've got a splinter under my thumb nail, if that makes you feel any better?

Can someone scientific please explain why the small injuries hurt the most?

I don't think it's the size of the injury Paul, it's where it's sited. You have nerve endings on your fingers (so you can feel things) which means you sometimes feel things you wish you hadn't!

My fingers currently sport 2 oven burns. Golly they smart - and they last for AGES! I open the oven and get all enthusiastic and don't notice that I've leaned in too far and caught my hand on one of the shelves.

[Rhona]

Hey, c'mon - credit me with some intelligence.

Sorry. I know...but I can't let an opportunity for cheap and unfunny joke go by.

'Tis strange though, after having baby girl, I felt so great, that I made dinner a couple of hours later - nothing fancy! - and burned my finger a bit. I can remember thinking "blimey that REALLY hurts." Which is weird when you think about it...

[HeyWayne]

Sorry. I know...but I can't let an opportunity for cheap and unfunny joke go by.

'Tis strange though, after having baby girl, I felt so great, that I made dinner a couple of hours later - nothing fancy! - and burned my finger a bit. I can remember thinking "blimey that REALLY hurts." Which is weird when you think about it...

Are you suggesting I stamp on LadyWayne's foot when she's in labour to take her mind off the pain of labour?

I was just gonna go for a water pool, but this idea's much cheaper...

[HayleyB]

Ouch, I HATE paper cuts, plaster tightly and it'll bind better and stop the pain. As for burns Anty Flum, do that all the time, having a Rangemaster the oven is low as I'm so tall so the angle means I catch my wrists and forearms regularly, scars everywhere

[Mikey]

Yep its all about extremities, and most used areas, therefore, fingers, lips, feet, cause us most suffering, as we are constantly reminded of it every time we aggrevate them. Our brains are very good at diverting our attention away from pain, and putting it to the backs of our minds, I think hence why doctors ask if the pain is a dull ache. Unfortunately that is exactly why we keep aggrevating small injuries on the extremities, we forget they are there.

Ergo, it would hurt less to give birth than have a paper cut.

----------------
Ducks for cover.

[Flummery]

I should jolly well think so! Is there room on that norty step Rhona?

[Nicos]

'Tis strange though, after having baby girl, I felt so great, that I made dinner a couple of hours later - nothing fancy! - and burned my finger a bit. I can remember thinking "blimey that REALLY hurts." Which is weird when you think about it...

I had to learn to stand up again!!!!!

But of course...nothing beats a staple rip injury of the finger