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  • Feeling Low

    Not because I'm still sitting on Lynda's Norty step

    2008 was pretty carp for us and was hoping 2009 would be a lot better - especially financial. But it don't look like it's gonna get better any time soon.

    FIL who's 77 has been diagnosed with advanced localised prostate cancer which has been a massive blow. MIL taken it well but she's in her 80s and previously had cancer (in remission) and is looking older every time we see her. They live off their pension and interest from their savings which has been taken away by the BoE. It just ain't fair....

    I can't find any inspiration to complete my diploma - passed 4 exams in 2 years and now have 9 months to complete a project but with the industry on its knees I just can't seem to get my head into it - too stressed with everything else.

    My animals are my reason for getting out of bed in the morning. I'm hoping that the growing season is good so I can sell produce to get some income but I feel that God is not on my side for some reason and that nothing will grow - daft I know.

    I'm normally so good at bouncing out of it and making people laugh but it seems to be a lot harder at the moment.
    Hayley B

    John Wayne's daughter, Marisa Wayne, will be competing with my Other Half, in the Macmillan 4x4 Challenge (in its 10th year) in March 2011, all sponsorship money goes to Macmillan Cancer Support, please sponsor them at http://www.justgiving.com/Mac4x4TeamDuke'

    An Egg is for breakfast, a chook is for life

  • #2
    I'm really low too. I get SAD every winter, and it's just hitting me now.

    It's a tough time of year. I know it will get better in a few weeks, but I just wish I could hibernate under a stone somewhere.
    All gardeners know better than other gardeners." -- Chinese Proverb.

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    • #3
      Oh dear Hayley, {{{{{{{{{{{big cuddlyhugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

      It's rotten when you get that low isn't it, and nothing anyone says is going to help. Rest assured though, the sun WILL shine, some seeds WILL germinate and grow to maturity, you WILL get through this. I'm truly sorry to hear about your in-laws though, and yes, it is going to be difficult to cope with everything that's being thrown at you.

      How do you eat an Elephant? In small pieces! Think of all your problems and targets as an elephant, then divide it up into small pieces and tackle each piece one at a time.

      You do need to complete your diploma otherwise the last 2 years hard work and success will have been for nothing.

      Let off steam on here. We're all your friends and although we can't make your family well again or physically do anything for you, we're there to give you moral support, lend a shoulder to cry on (and a snotty hanky) and probably give you more advice than you need or want, but WE'RE HERE

      Chin up chuck, I'm sending you nice vibes xxxx
      My girls found their way into my heart and now they nest there

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      • #4
        Big hugs to you Hayley.(((x)))
        Life seems to be so rottenly unfair at times.
        Not really anything much I can say to make anything better....but if a bit of grovelling around Lynda to get you off that norty step might help....I reckon a month was just a bit steep meself!!!
        Even if they're just little almost irrelevant things,try to find a couple of things each day to make you smile...it's often those little things that help us get through the biggies,as for your diploma...maybe give yourself a couple of weeks off studying,it might be easier to get back into with a fresh mind...but don't give up on it totally...set yourself a date to get back into it...and stick with it!
        ((((x))))Di,x
        the fates lead him who will;him who won't they drag.

        Happiness is not having what you want,but wanting what you have.xx

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        • #5
          Hugs to you. Can offer you a clean hanky not a snotty one, if you prefer

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          • #6
            Come and sit on my shoulders - you won't feel low then I can assure you!
            A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

            BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

            Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


            What would Vedder do?

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            • #7
              I don't think I suffer from SAD but I do feel better when the skies are blue & it's warm/hot.
              The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
              Brian Clough

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              • #8
                Things will get better, all you can do is keep going and try your best. I think the elephant idea is great, how true! Do one little thing at a time and it will add up to a big thing. You are welcome to moan and talk as much as you want on here, lots of us have been through difficult times and there's no magic cure, but talking about it can really help. Hugs to you xxx

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                • #9
                  I'm sorry to see you so low. Life is a b####r at times and it's always one thing after another. God, I promise, is on your side as is everyone here. Love to you and prayers for your in-laws.

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                  • #10
                    Aw, Hayley, you have big January Syndrome. My best wishes to your in-laws. Give a horse a good groom and cuddle. If nothing else, you'll be distracted by the filth and grime. For maximum enjoyment, visit the house of someone you don't like afterwards, and shed on their carpet.

                    No really, we've all been there (I think!). I often feel like I wouldn't get out of bed if it wasn't for ponies and cats. I agree with sticking with the diploma. Mid-way through ANY course is the worst point, as it feels like you've been working for ever, but the end seems very far away. What you have to remember is that it's half the distance of when you started.

                    Good luck with the elephant. Hope you got a steak knife!

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                    • #11
                      Big (((hugs))) from me too Hayley. We're wrestling with some fairly horrid stuff too atm, sometimes it seems never ending! But, try not to feel abandoned, as they always say He works in mysterious ways, and the cr*p things often hide big changes which are for the better in the end.
                      As the others said, don't give up on your studies, just have a little break. Spend the time planning your veg growing instead, so you feel a bit more in control of that, work out how much extra you can grow, perhaps veg boxes are the answer?
                      Hope you start seeing the light again soon, i'm sure it hasn't gone out, just got a curtain in front of it temporarily... ;-)

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                      • #12
                        Hi Hayley.

                        Been there with the studying thing...I was 3/4 way through my degree when my boss decided to put me forward for a post grad diploma - so for the last 2 years I did both as they finished within 2 months of each other.

                        At the time I was single and I would put the times aside to study and let it go for the rest of the time...it sounds like you need a few days/weeks away from it to clear your head. Although it feels like a waste of time, there will be recovery and if this helps you financially in the long run - it WILL be worth it. Can you give yourself a plan to do stuff week by week and cross it off so you can see how far you are going with it. My latest photo project I am doing on blogger rather than a sketch book so that I can track what I've done and not done as I go.

                        I can't say for the other stuff, but things always come in lumps or threes...and worrying about it isn't going to actually change it - it just makes YOU feel worse because of the feeling in your tummy and not sleeping.

                        The sun didn't go down until 4:30 last night - that's whole hour and a bit later than only 4 weeks ago. It will soon be spring, and you'll be bouncing out of bed again with plans to make and people to see. Just stick with it.

                        xxx
                        Last edited by zazen999; 16-01-2009, 11:51 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Thinking about you hayley, big hugs coming your way, its at times like this that we feel that there is nothing you can do. When my sister was very ill with cancer the councillor said to us ' dont under estimate what you are doing ' I am sure your inlaws appreciate all you do for them. Like others have said the sun WILL SHINE ( it is here at the moment ) the seeds you sow WILL GROW. Just think life IS GOOD. ( well sometime anyway ) Hope things improve soon and dont forget we are all here for you.
                          Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
                          and ends with backache

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by andi&di View Post
                            .but if a bit of grovelling around Lynda to get you off that norty step might help....I reckon a month was just a bit steep meself!!!
                            oooooooo i like grovelling ...... anyway, i gave her a slinky ..... what more could a girl on the norty step need?? ..... i even gave her a bucket

                            life is **** hun ..... but then it could be worse ..... you could be getting bombs dropped on your head every day, or you could be starving in africa, or a million other worse things

                            all we can be certain of is the sun will rise every morning, ..... the economy will get better, and then when you have that elusive fantastic job, you will be dead chuffed with yourself that you finished your diploma and passed with flying colours ...... when the little green shoots start growing, you'll be glad you planted them, just like when you go into the chook run in the morning and pick up warm eggs, you are glad you rescued the girls

                            there is a bright side to everything, sometimes it's hard finding it, but eventually you will.

                            big hugsssssssss and snogsssss and stuff, and i think you can come off the norty step later ....... after you've done a bit more grovelling of course xxxxx

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                            • #15
                              This is the worst time of the year, no doubt about it. Sounds like you have some good reasons for feeling down Hayley.

                              I'm a great believer in what Di said - concentrate on the good things around you. Your family, pets, friend, there must be many.

                              How about making a list of good things you want to do this year? Jeannine and I do it every January when winter seems neverending. 10 things we want to achieve, experience or enjoy! Just thinking about things like that make you feel better. Every time you feel down just look at the list and take a step towards one of your goals.
                              Resistance is fertile

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