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In amongst all the sorrow:
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either
you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case,
I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I
DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those
new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was
still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either
you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case,
I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I
DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those
new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was
still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done
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