What not to do at work. Tip no. 1

[bobleponge]

Imagine if you will, my office. Its a portakabin type affair, you enter a door in the middle, to the left is my office with its own lockable door, and to the right is the camp boss' office (he isnt really, he's very hetero) again with its own lockable door.
Habitually whoever is the first one out of the office at night waves a cheery goodnight to the other, and locks his door and leaves. The other one then locks his door and leaves, locking the padlock on the outside of the portakabin. (Can you see where this is going yet?)
Last night, I hadnt seen the camp boss leave, but as I left my office, his door was locked and there were no signs of light or life, so I locked my door, and left, locking the padlock on the outside. (Got it now?)
At around 0330 this morning I was awoken by my guards, who asked me if I could possibly unlock the office as the camp boss had been stuck inside for hours. DOHHHHHHH!!!!!
I went and unlocked, the poor man wasnt best pleased. I did explain that his office was shut and the lights were off, but that just didnt cut the mustard.
I dont know what he was doing in his office with the lights off, and to be fair, I dont want to know either, but he is an angry man today.
Frosty day in Africa I fear.

[Two_Sheds]

Ooops!

Tip No.2
If you are going to really slate your boss and the size of her enormous @rse, first make sure she isn't kneeling down the other side of your desk out of sight (yes, it was a really big desk)

[BrideXIII]

so sorry Bob, but I just logged on quickly before i unplug the pute for the day, as its going in for a refit, thought i had better check in for a quick GYO fix, and THIS has me giggling like a mad thing at 7:20 am, i am not usually even up at 7:20 am!!!

Now I am going to be going mad all day waiting for an update!!
Hope he doesn't throw you to the lions

[zazen999]

Oops.

How come he didn't notice he was locked in until 3-ish???

[Polly Fouracre]

I would love to know what he was doing in there!!!

[Snadger]

Been there........done that........have the P45 to prove it!

[Two_Sheds]

I would love to know what he was doing in there!!!

Lights off, door locked until 3am ... I'm guessing it involves websites of some sordid kind

[FROSTYFRECKLE]

What was your boss doing that he needed the lights off?

[zazen999]

Unless he is a photographer and was processing film of course...

[Rhona]

Hee hee hee. Smile ruefully at him, 'bout all you can do today.
He's probably a bit embarrassed...

Tip no 3. Oh Lord no, on second thoughts. It's too excruciating to recall. And no-one except me would be daft enough anyway.

[squashysu]

Tip No: 4 - when you and only 17 and working in an office and filing your files in front of your boss, do not bend over and give out the largest bottom burp ever!!! it doesnt bode well for your career - hence why i am now teaching instead of being a lawyer lol! (kids love toilet humour )

ps. i dont do that anymore I am now a lady

By the way Bob, just smile at him today and ask him would he like goat lol!

[Irie Jan]

Ah bless you were not to know Bob! All the same is his fault for going on his secret mission in the dark! Lets just be kind to him, perhaps he was getting a few ZZZZ's NOT!! Give us an up date let us know how your day progresses!

Hope you have a good day anyway!
x Jan

[zazen999]

Been there........done that........have the P45 to prove it!

Or

Been there - done that - got the tissues.

[bobleponge]

Weeelllll,
Firstly in defence of the camp boss, and contrary to the way some of your minds are working, we cant actually access websites of "that" nature. We are on a company intranet that blocks all that sort of stuff. (I am tempted to write booooo but in the interests of decorum I shant.)
The reason he was in there till 3 am was because all of our portakabins are made from reinforced, 55mm thick ballistic steel, which drowns out most noises. My guards patrol every hour or so at nights, but they do the perimeter, our office is near the centre of all the buildings. He had realised not long after I left the office, around 9.30 pm, but didnt manage to attract anyone's attention till 3 am. Doh.
I have been out all morning and just returned, and still frostiness abounds.
Its a real b*mmer as well, as he has all the yummy coffee for his coffee machine. Guess who is drinking Nescafe for 3 weeks.

Rhona, you cant leave us in suspenders, you gotta tell us now.
Ah well,

[piskieinboots]

I can't imagine why he hasn't seen the funny (ROFL) side of this