What not to do at work. Tip no. 1

[Sanjo]

Ooops!

Tip No.2
If you are going to really slate your boss and the size of her enormous @rse, first make sure she isn't kneeling down the other side of your desk out of sight (yes, it was a really big desk)

Or if you're a new girl in the charity's office showing one of the old folk who volunteeer how the answerphone works - don't talk about the boss and his supposed affairs (unless you have made sure that it isn't on the recorder!!!)

[janeyo]

shall we have a whipround and collect some bits and bobs for the bob's survival kit?
1) goats milk
2) camel curry
3)...

[Nicos]

Don't you take your own coffee out Bob????
If he's English- and you have no tea- I could send you out a few teabags to bribe him ( doubt chocolate would cope in that heat!!)

[bobleponge]

Ahh, a postal service is something else that is lacking here too. Carrier Maribou isnt reliable enough to ensure delivery. We get a flight in and out once a week, thats our contact with the outside world.
I do bring coffee, but when he went on leave he brought back a super duper wonderful coffee machine and loads of these little pads, which he is now hiding in his office and refusing to speak to me.
If he wasnt over 50 years of age it would be quite funny. But then I spose, his nationality arent renowned for their sense of humour. Any guesses?

[janeyo]

I'd love to say German but someone might tell me off so I won't
lol
I'll just say 'a nationality that doesn't like to share sunbeds?'

[BrideXIII]

Shhhhhhhhhhhh please guys and girls, i just logged back in, first thread i stopped at, and i am nearly wetting my lil' thong already.
bet he is german

[miffy]

He is a right old grumpy man! He is just acting like this cause he feels a numptee and much easier to blame your good self than admit he was up to no good.
I hope his stupid coffee machine throws a wobbly and stops working and then he won't have any nice coffee to taunt you with.
I think you need to get your own machine next time you are on leave and then you can have your own 'coffee republic'.
Don't know what nationality he could be!!lol xx

[Nicos]

Nationality??...urm I would suggest Dutch- but my new friend here is Belgian married to a Dutch guy.....and they are good fun- so I best keep my mouth shut!

[Pumpkin Becki]

Oh dear, how to mend bridges when there's nothing to bribe the other party with...tricky, very tricky.

You could always email your Healthy and Safety officer (you must have one - even in the desert)(copying your superior in on the mail), drawing attention to the fact that this potentially dangerous situation arose. Perhaps you could suggest introducing a T-Card system next to the outer door which would show both of you who's in and who's out? (I am saying this slightly tongue-in-cheek, but we've actually had to do that in our office recently for very similar reasons)

[bobleponge]

He is of course a sunbed stealer.
Generally he is a decent guy and we get on ok but a new Anglo German cold war has broken out here. Good news is he's back to Khartoum soon, bad news is he's taking his coffee machine with him.

[squashysu]

ok - a whip round for Bob's new coffee machine, we cant have you suffering caffeine withdrawals, its not clever or funny!! i know, i have run out of Mellow Birds lol!

[miffy]

We should make him a mercy package and then he can open it infront of Herr Grumpy and he will be mega jealous!

[Glutton4...]

shall we have a whipround and collect some bits and bobs for the bob's survival kit?
1) goats milk
2) camel curry
3)...

Item 3: Klaxon horn for when the other fella locks Bob in to get his own back!

[bobleponge]

Even in the middle of the Sudanese swamp system PB, there is indeed a health and safety system in place.
With defence being the best form of attack, I got onto the system first thing this morning, informing all and sundry that its clearly not a sensible idea to be locking yourself in to your office with lights off with other people still in the office.
I await the counterpunch with interest.
However, if he had just left his door open (like it is right now, strangely enough) he wouldnt have been locked in!!

[miffy]

Perhaps he likes confined spaces and being unable to get free! Get my drift!! Would explain not having the light on, perhaps he heard you lock up but was tied up at the time!