Doctors/Scientists on the Vine?

[bobleponge]

Can any of the above quickly invent an antidote for stupidity please?
I would like a batch of about 200 vials sent over, (I am a medic, thus will administer). If possible, today. If not, I fear the early demise of a lot of my staff.
Thank you!!

[shirlthegirl43]

Oh dear, want to share what has happened today Bob?

Oops, forgot to say, I am not a scientist or doctor but it sounds like it might be funny and I need a laugh this morning

[zazen999]

I'm not gonna ask...but the only way to cure stupidity is to become a woman.

[smallblueplanet]

I was a student scientist in the 80s however unfortunately all of my vials have gone out of date according to H&S regs on glass vial storage.

[lynda66]

I'm not gonna ask...but the only way to cure stupidity is to become a woman.

actually that doesn't always work

go on spill bob wot you done this time??

[FionaH]

Ze German?

[bobleponge]

Thank you for putting what I was desperate to, Lynda.
You cannot, I repeat you cannot make this **** up.
I have 2 walking metaphors here, and a broken arm that I have just dispatched to hospital.
This morning I instructed my guards to clean their guns, as if I dont tell them, they dont do it. I dont generally stand over them to check, as the Cpl in charge is pretty decent, so I know they are going to be at least rubbed over with a cloth.
Walking back towards my office, I hear 2 shots in quick succession, followed by enormous belly laughs and then screams.
Getting back, I find that one of the guards not cleaning his gun at the time, had decided to test his steel toecap boots, by sticking a bullet through it. Whilst wearing it.
Metaphor number 1.
Obviously it hurt, everyone around bursts into laughter, one guy laughing so hard as he has his gun in his hand, that he pulls the trigger. He was sat on the floor and his gun pointing towards his feet, getting ready to clean it. Metaphor number 2.
Finally, one of the guards up on the towers, about 8ft up in the air, has seen all this, and laughs so much he falls onto the ground, breaking his arm.
This place .......

[Nicos]

...erm....who are they supposed to be protecting????

....bet they're sick of eating goat and want to go home ??

[lynda66]

you're welcome bob

brilliant ........ i mean oops ..........that's cheered me up for the day ..... i mean whoops silly people ..... hope the muppets are all ok lol

well at least i've never shot myself ........ mind you i've never held a gun either

[SarzWix]

You're making it up, surely...
Give the goats the guns.... Safer!

[squashysu]

so sorry but i am picturing a scene in carry on soldiering!! or something similar, but its not long until home time for you is it, but that has made me smile lol

[shirlthegirl43]

Oh dear, can't wait for Madmax to get home so I can show him this!

I had a laugh, then a cough, then more cough. Took me 5 minutes to get my breath back to type thanks for sharing

[lainey lou]

OMG!!! That's hillarious!! My OH will love it (Army)!!

[janeyo]

PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!

I hope tey pay you really well for dealing with such muppets. IN fact maybe muppets would be better...it's time to play the music it's time to light the light...dum de dum de dum

[NOG]

Well at least they know which end to put in their shoulder...thats a start.