marriage vows

[rainbowbrite]

I'm getting married in July and amongst a million things i'm organising i'm trying to figure out vows and wondered if anyone can help, we're having a civil ceremony so God can't be mentioned and i wanted something slightly different to traditional so can anyone think of any good vows i could use

[FionaH]

So tempting to say get him to promise to take the wheelie bins out I will try and think of something more meaningful after some coffee

[Victoria26]

Dougie and I just had the bog standard ones. They've worked for hundreds of years and it was one less thing to worry about stuffing up.

Wish I could do it all over again. The day passes so fast!

[Hashette]

Congratulations and I hope you'll be fabulously happy. Ours was five years ago this week, and it still feels like yesterday.

We had the apache wedding blessing as a reading, but you could adapt the first paragraph and make it into vows if you wanted. It was a pretty emotional day all in all, and this turned me into a complete mess - if you do use it, I'd suggest wearing a waterproof mascara!. Here it is:

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

[zazen999]

*something in my eye

wanders off to find some tissues.

[janeyo]

I can't help with vows, but I did read a fabulous poem by W H Auden at my brother's civil wedding for them.

Made everyone chuckle esp the bit about nose picking!

O Tell Me The Truth About Love


Some say that love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go round,
And some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.


Does it look like a pair of pajamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.


Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway-guides.


Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.


I looked inside the summer-house;
it wasn't ever there:
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed.


Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all it's time at the races,
Or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.


When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my shoes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.


W.H. Auden

[vicky]

We married in vegas and the minister (who looked like mr T complete with gold chains) read out some great stuff about I was the queen of the house and hubby had to promise to do as I said in my kingdom....vaguely spoilt by hubby loudly (drunkenly...) stage whispering about being my sex slave in a mr T voice.....

He regretted it later when watching the dvd with his elderly family and new in laws!

[Flummery]

Ow - love the Apache reading - and I liked the poem too. We had the usual. Still together 38 years later! I hope you find the words you are looking for - and that the remainder of your life reflects them. Wishing you happiness.

[rainbowbrite]

the poem was ace, might have to include that. i liked the Apache reading as well, i would stick with the traditional stuff but i want something more personalsied for us as a couple.

you've been a great help, thank you

[dexterdoglancashire]

Congratulations!
When Drew and I renewed our vows at our Silver last September, I typed in wedding vows onto google and it came up with some good ideas - some were american, but at least I got a good idea.
Then I sat down and wrote what I wanted to say, as if I was actually talking to Drew there and then - with a bit of tweaking, I was very pleased with it.
Only trouble was, on the day, as Drew started saying his words to me, I started crying (in happiness of course!) and didn't stop until I'd finished my vows! I set everyone else off as well!
I'm sure you'll have a fantastic day - one that you will always remember - I'd love to hear all about it.
Best wishes to you both.

[paulab]

Kesiah and Elan are getting married in July too - although they're having church wedding [daddy assistant pastor] Kes has decided to write a poem for her vows - its a bit sloppy, a bit funny and very tear jerking. She got the idea off a poetry web site but can't remember which one.

[miffy]

When i married Mr Miffy we wrote our vows for each other, i wanted to tell the whole world how i felt about him and how he made me feel.
It made us cry and laugh at the same time, hard to get the words out but very special.
I hope you have a wonderful day, if you sit down and think about why you want to marry each other the words will come. Let us know how it goes.

[kirsty b]

Hashette, can I pinch the apache one please? We are doing the deed in July too, in a civil ceremony, and thats just lovely.

[Pootle]

When we had our registry office wedding we were sent a pack by by the registrar that included readings of Winnie the Pooh and the Owl and the Pussycat...needless to say, we didn't use them

[Snadger]

I really like the Pagan Handfasting Ceremonies and if I had it all to do again (unlikely after 35 years married) these are what I would use.

Loads of stuff to be googled about Handfasting!