How do you get rid of cold callers on the phone?

[dexterdoglancashire]

Had to share this with you. Last night the telephone rang around 630pm. I never answer the phone (coz Im a miserable sod!) but Drew said, answer, its probably my mum.
I did so to hear a smarmy voice saying "can I speak to the gentleman of the household?!
In my poshest voice (allotmentlady can confirm I have a posh voice on the phone!) I said "Im so sorry, hes lancing the cats boils!" and cut the chap off before he had chance to say what he was selling!
Drew was in tears sat at his pc, coz he was laughing that much!

[Naga]

Lol nice one. I like to listen to what they have to say and ask questions and sound really interested and when they cut to the chase I say "Thanks for calling but I'm not interested". Then they keep on so I listen and then tell them the same thing, total waste of time. Also trying to get them off script is fun and just have a conversation about random stuff is fun too.

[MaureenHall]

Love it Must remember that one and try it out myself.

Had to read it twice though cuz at first I thought you said "balls"

[Marthaclematis]

We don't plug our landline in these days as dh used to get too many cold callers during the day. I must say we don't miss it, we both have mobile contracts with all the free calls and texts we need. If it wasn't for the broadband connection that comes with it we'd have it cut off all together. ANYWAY.. back to the question - when we were plugged in, and we'd get a sales person I'd just let them start talking then quietly place the receiver on the table or arm of chair and continue watching tv, or filling the dishwasher... I'd go back a minute later and they'd be gone. No stress, no telling them politely (or otherwise) that you're not interested - they just go away all by themselves.

[dexterdoglancashire]

Love it Must remember that one and try it out myself.

Had to read it twice though cuz at first I thought you said "balls"

I'll remember that! Its better than boils!

[Hilary B]

One trick often recommended is to start asking embarrassing, personal questions, like "how old are you?", "What colour car do you drive?" and anything else you can think of (you can get a LOT more personal than that if you like). If they object you say something like "but you ask me equally personal questions, and it was YOU who wanted the conversation".
Or you could simply do the 'heavy breathing' routine, or try to 'chat up' the caller. If they get really upset they may hand you over to a supervisor, to whom you can point out that you didn't ask for the call, so you feel entitled to continue it in whatever way you like!

[SarzWix]

I usually put the phone (cordless) down next to the radio speaker If they can inflict their dire lift music on me, then I can inflict mine on them! Although, since we changed our number and went ex-directory we hardly get any calls at all.

[lynda66]

the most annoying ones are people asking for you via a crappy voicemail, then leaving you on hold for half an hour while a real person their end come to the phone lol .... i just leave the phone on the arm of the chair too or unplug the phone.

[di]

Had to share this with you. Last night the telephone rang around 630pm. I never answer the phone (coz Im a miserable sod!) but Drew said, answer, its probably my mum.
I did so to hear a smarmy voice saying "can I speak to the gentleman of the household?!
In my poshest voice (allotmentlady can confirm I have a posh voice on the phone!) I said "Im so sorry, hes lancing the cats boils!" and cut the chap off before he had chance to say what he was selling!
Drew was in tears sat at his pc, coz he was laughing that much!

I've now got visions of your OH going in to work tomorrow to discover the caller was actually not a cold caller at all!!!
Excellent line though!
That said I try to be nice until they give me reason to be otherwise,my bones not with the caller that's getting paid a pittance,but the companies that use cold calling!
The ones I dislike are the ones that simply won't take no for an answer & actually start to get quite pushy in a nasty way...next time I get one of them I may just need to pretend I've got a cat!

[Growem]

I agree with andi&di, I don't see a reason to put the people working the lines through agony when they call. I usually listen for a minute or two to make sure it's not actually something like the bank calling about something important (rather than selling me something I don't want or need), then say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested," and hang up. Simple, effective and short on wasting my time.

[sewer rat]

OH just cuts them off - but when she is talking!
When I was in London, sharing a house with three mates, we used to invite the door knocking JW's in for a chat then have huge long complicated arguments with them about religious beliefs, all the while offering them alcohol as we drank ourselves silly! Childish I know but it was fun at the time.

[Peter]

OH registered us with the no cold calling register (I don't recall the proper name), she reckons it takes about one second from "Why are you calling us, we are on the <no cold calling register>" to "So sorry, goodbye."

[terrier]

When they ask " Is that Mr.(name) speaking ", I just say "No, wrong number" and they hang up! They can't have very flexible scripts.

[PAULW]

You could try this

YouTube - The Greatest Prank Call Ever

[coreopsis]

My way to get rid of them is to say:"Um a foreegner,no speek anglish.Works a treat!