A healthy level of insanity

[HeyWayne]

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.!

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee machine for 3 weeks. Once everyone has is over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In your cheque butts write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skipdown the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is 'take-away'.

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache..

11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

13. Pick up a box of condoms at the chemist, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

[allotmentlady]

Sounds like my life!!!!!LOL

[bubblewrap]

When buying a rail ticket just ask for a return.
When the booking office person asks where to say here else I wouldn't want a return!

[Two_Sheds]

nice one Wayne

[jacob marley]

I was looking at hi vis jackets down Nuneaton market one day and the large Indian gent says you want one i says yes i want a black or green one he say you cant have one i say i want one made out of the same material but not yellow every thing would run away when walking about in the fields.
As i walked away he stood there shaking his head....jacob

[bubblewrap]

A camouflage hi viz jacket Jacob?

Hey a new oxymoron.

[jacob marley]

A camouflage hi viz jacket Jacob?

Hey a new oxymoron.

Thats what i want he thought i was crackers....jacob

[bubblewrap]

Thats what i want he thought i was crackers....jacob

Jacobs do make crackers!!

[Spiderling]

I surprised even myself with my insanity last week. I was at the ATM and the woman behind started laughing. It turns out I had taken my money out and then thanked the machine....... Ah well, I was brought up proper like... Heywayne, I love all of those, especially 3, 6 and 7. I will definately try those out.

[petal]

Wayne -Good to have you back!

[Shortie]

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee machine for 3 weeks. Once everyone has is over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Skipdown the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

If I'm insane enough, I might try these at work this week

[Shortie]

I surprised even myself with my insanity last week. I was at the ATM and the woman behind started laughing. It turns out I had taken my money out and then thanked the machine....... Ah well, I was brought up proper like...

I'm guilty of that one. We have 'poluite' lifts at work and the only one that goes to the lower ground floor is ofter slow running/busy. If you wait for a little while for it, it says 'Sorry to keep you waiting'. Without fail (even aware I'm doing it) I always reply 'it's okay, it's not your fault

[Spiderling]

Sorted! I hate those lifts which tell you the doors are opening etc. and always tell it to shut up. I know these are of great help to the visually handicapped (my parents are) but I find them irritating beyond measure!!

[bubblewrap]

I often SHOUT at the puter when it seems to be going S........L........O..........W

[Spiderling]

...my husband swears at our pooter if it doesn't do what he wants it to...(we are both new to technology)..