I've met someone

[JanieB]

I didn't think I would ever feel anything after Brian died 3yrs 7mths ago. I belong to a widows site but I don't feel comfortable with it.

I was in my local waiting for my son to turn up and reading a book. There was a man on my right drinking a beer and looking bored. He asked me what I was reading and I said I always took a book or crossword in with me. If someone wants to talk, fine, if not, I don't look like billy-no-mates.

We were chatting about books/authors when my son turned up. They introduced themselves to each other. Interesting since I didn't yet know the name of the man. My son got the approval from the man and he had my son's approval.

WHAT about what I think!!!!

Anyways. After my son left we got on. Exchanged phone numbers etc.

I haven't felt like this for so long. I would really, really like to see him this weekend, but it is my birthday on Sunday and my family and friends have the whole Bank Holiday organised for me.

I know they think they have my best interests at heart. I won't disappoint them but my mind will probably be elsewhere.

It's too early in the relationship to inflict the whole force of my family on him.

I haven't found out yet but I do hope he's into allotments/gardening.

[quark1]

Janie - what have you to lose by having a bit of light-hearted fun with this new person?

Play it cool and 'intellectual' to begin with - you seem to have a common interest in literature etc. Just make it clear that you had a life partner who is no longer here and need to take things one step at a time. He may well be in the same boat? Who knows what might happen going forward.

Just enjoy his company (if appropriate) and he yours......I know I'd be plenty happy if someone thought the same about me (the blind insensible one!) - but I'm too shy and perhaps a little alarming to all but the strongest of characters!

There you are - a CHALLENGE!

[JanieB]

Thanks Quark, I'm in a scarey new place. I feel old, fat and unlovable, and this man made me feel feminine again. I do know that I never turned ugly - but I did put on a lot of weight. The weight is going off slowly - I'm now looking to increase the decrease if you know what I mean.

This man seems to like me anyway so this is for my comfort zone only

[janeyo]

Sounds like you are ready to have a fling / be flung / have some fun / do some chatting / have a few dates / have a friend / be loved *delete as applicable.

Go for it. You deserve to be happy in life.

I am sure your family wouldn't want you to be miserable!

[Comfreyfan]

It's a very scarey new place, but also exciting and very good for you! Enjoy whatever comes along.

[NOG]

oh oh can i be a brides maid.......I want to get in quick cos everyone will want to be one...a Vine wedding on the cards.

[blue411]

Take a deep breath and go for it, what have you got to loose?? more importantly...what have you got to gain??

[Alice]

Just regard him as a new friend JanieB and take it slowly from there. Best wishes for the new friendship and whatever comes next.

[HayleyB]

And I second Alice there, a new friend who may become more, step by step..........

[jackie j]

I am sure you will take things slowly and find out as much as you can about him. Is he single as well, good luck with it hope it turns out good.

[kirsty b]

Chance encounters eh? He sounds nice enough, and you'll know what is right when its right.

Good luck Janie
Kirsty

[SueA]

I hope you at least get a new friend out of it Janie, as you say it would have been nice to see him this weekend but it would be a bit much introducing him to your entire family as though he was your 'intended' or something. Take it easy as everyone says & have a bit of fun, hope it works out O.K. for you.

[squashysu]

Thanks Quark, I'm in a scarey new place. I feel old, fat and unlovable, and this man made me feel feminine again. I do know that I never turned ugly - but I did put on a lot of weight. The weight is going off slowly - I'm now looking to increase the decrease if you know what I mean.

This man seems to like me anyway so this is for my comfort zone only

arr Janie, its lovely and will put a smile on your face which is a good thing and you will one day realise that no everyone wants Claudia Schiffer on their arm! I feel very uncomfortable in my skin! i have now lost 3st 3lbs (i may just advertise that in a thread lol) and not been this weight for a very long time, a pat on the back for doing great and also remember, you are liked for you xxx

[Birdie Wife]

Wow JanieB I'm really happy for you! Like the others have already said - take it slow, have no expectations and just be yourself! There's plenty of time yet for him to meet your family in less full-on circumstances If it's met to be, it will happen

[bluemoon]

I'm very pleased for you, Janie.