Loss of gardening friend

[bramble]

How sad Sue when it could have been avoided. My neighbour who lived facing me died from the same thing. She would'nt see a doctor and died at 49. Her husband went around us all telling us not to neglect ourselves like his wife did.
Its a wake-up call to all of us and thanks for that.
I;m sure you'll never forget her.

[martini]

Sorry to hear about your loss Sue. Get those check up girls - they can and do save lives. Knew someone (a nurse actually) who neglected to follow up and she ended up having a hysterectomy at 29.

AND - all of you gents out there - we know men hate going to the doctors but any problems with 'tackle'/waterworks, don't waste time off to the GP!

[Mrs Dobby]

Sorry to hear of the loss Sue, my deepest condolences to you, her family and all who knew her! I'm not too far away, so if there's anything we can do, just holler, ok?

[Earthbabe]

Sue, so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sure you will find many ways to remember your friend. It is such a shame her loss could have been prevented but that loss may well save another life judging be the responses here so it is not entirely in vain.

My thoughts are with you at this time and with her family and those who knew her.

[SueA]

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm glad that this sad news might spur some of you like Pickledtink to go for a check up & agree that the men on the vine should keep an eye on their health too & not be afraid to visit the doctor's - my father-in-law died a couple of years ago from prostate cancer & possibly would have lived longer if he had got treatment earlier.
I also had some treatment about 15 years ago DDL after abnormal smear tests, it only took about 20 mins under local anaesthetic as an outpatient & I've been clear ever since so it distresses me that this could have saved my friend too if she could have faced up to it.
She loved wild flowers & fuchsias (which her late father had shown her how to grow- he was a fuchsia nut!) & I'll always be able to remember her by the rampant red campions all over the garden which she grew & gave some to me & then we spent the rest of our time trying to stop them self-seeding everywhere!

[ugly gourd]

My old boss was the same exnurse when things started to change thought it was the menopause didnt get it checked she died 6 months later remember you cant see yourself a smear can show the problem before the symptons arrive my thoughts are with you sue A

[Slug]

Sorry to hear about your loss SueA - cancer is such a terrible thing, and what's even worse is when someone is so scared of hearing that they have cancer, that they refuse to see a doctor in case their worst fear is confirmed.

I used to work as radiographer in radiotherapy, so I have seen so many patients with cancer, and it's such a shame when you come across the people that have waited, because they're too scared to see someone, and you know that things could have been different.

I can't stress enough the importance of getting yourselves checked, and looking after your OH too. If you're a girl, then making sure the boys go to see the doctor if they're any problems 'down below', and for men (OK Nick.... no need to be dirty when I say this), but it's important for men to say if they notice any differences in their wives and girlfriends. - I've seen cases where men noticed that the women's breasts looked different (dimpling etc...) and they hadn't even noticed themselves, and it turned out to be breast cancer.

So there we go.... look after yourself, but look after each other too

It's encouraging to hear everyone saying they're going to keep on top of their checks - so hopefully SueA, your unfortunate and sad loss will have a happier ending in the long run

Gosh... I've gone all soppy here

[dexterdoglancashire]

Sue - it's lovely that you've got some of your friends favourite flowers in your garden to remember her by. I think that as well as letting us all know about your friend, you have raised a very important issue. Good things do come out of sad things. Well done, it must have been very hard to talk about it. If there is anything I can do, or if you want to talk send me a PM. DDL

[JennieAtkinson]

There seem to be two sides to this thread - medical and memories. I agree wholeheartedly with the medical posts above, but in terms of memories, ANY chance you have of sharing your plants with family and friends means that you will always have something to remember them by. My mother, a great flower gardener, often used to send me cuttings in the post. At the time I didn't realise the importance, but now 9 years after her death, I feel she is in the garden with me all the time. I have her geraniums and Japanese anemones in the borders and have now planted geraniums in the veg garden so she is there with me as well.

When I look around my garden (well perhaps not today, because it looks a bit decimated with the wind and frost) I have so many plants given to me by my mother, brother and sister in law and close friends, and I must also add others on this Vine, that I can truly call it a memories garden. I do alot of scrapbooking, creating memories from old photographs, but I realise that I also have this in my garden too - a gardening scrapbook!

Hope this doesn't sound too sentimental (not meant to) but it is really nice to look out each summer on a garden of friends and loved ones!

[dexterdoglancashire]

Jennie that sounds lovely. My mother gave me some snowdrops that my gran had grown when we lived in Yorkshire - guess who didnt bring them back to Lancashire with me? I've regretted it ever since. DDL

[rustylady]

I agree wholeheartedly about memories living on in plants.

Have loads of plants given by friends and relatives (some many years ago, and things like pinks are not the original plants but have been kept going by cuttings) and they're all known by the giver's name instead of the variety name.

They really do help you to remember

[Nicos]

I have my grandmother's Xmas rose in my garden. She died in 1978 and before that used to present a bowl of these flowers on Xmas morning. Still remember her Xmas Day.

[dexterdoglancashire]

On a slightly different note, I tried to get a new yellow rose named after my parents in law for their wedding anniversary, but unfortunately they had all been named.
What a lovely idea to name a rose after someone you love - whether they are still with you or not.
I'm sorry, I cant remember the name of the company but I could try and find out if anyone is interested.
DDL

[bramble]

Jennie, it does sound sentimental but in a lovely way. My father planted some roses for me when we moved into our house a long time ago and i still have them. They remind me of him so much especially now he has passed on. I also have primula from my godmothers garden and always remember her in the spring when they blossom after the long winter which she hated because she lived alone. She always felt the winter was over when she saw them budding.
Yes, flowers are a real living reminder of those people we loved who are no longer with us.

[Alice]

You're so right Jennie. I love to walk round my garden and think of all the people we got different plants from. We have a beautiful rose we call Aunt Marion. It originated from my mother in laws Aunt Marion. Recently I gave my great nieces trees as Christening gifts. I wanted them to have something from me that would grow with them and they could always enjoy and know they got from me.