advice on parenting.......

[MrsC]

The schools give these titles then when you ask for a statement they back off.

Schools don't statement children, same as they don't prescribe Ritalin, that's done by others!

[Hazel at the Hill]

Our younger son (13) has mild Tourette's (facial twiching and strange sounds sometimes) along with very mild spinibifida (excuse my spelling please). No form of bad manners is permitted - full stop. If you are firm, fair and always keep the 'line' in the same place, they do eventually get the message. I often feel that Sam possibly has ADHD as I never feel he, as Fiona puts it, appreciates the consequences of his behaviour. My sister in law calls me the Victorian mum and threatens her kids with a visit to me if they don't behave. I am strict, I confess that, but I am constant with it and I think that might be the most important thing. My mum had a tendency to tolerate something one day and not tolerate the same thing the next day which leaves a child wondering where they stand.

Having met your sons, I must say that they are both a credit to you and Madmax.

[veggielover]

None of my kids get fizzy, even us adults don't get fizzy, its banned!!! squash is diluted pretty well and sweets are given as treats ( unless they get stolen of course!!! ) so can't say its those making situations worse.

[tricky]

There is an alternative to ritalin ,that is methylphenidate , my sons been on them for a long while.He allso use to have a top up ,just afer leaving school , but we have stopped that one know as we keep him very busy.
I know exactly what your going through and it is hard.
My son use to bounce everywhere and still does first thing and last.
It is hard getting him to sleep , it was 11.30 last night.
Every sympathy for you all Tricky

[jackie j]

My daughter was at primary school with a boy who has learning problems and was diagnosed with something ( cant remember what ) he could be the most loving child if someone was upset but a monster as well, most of the other parents would look at the mum with disgust as if it was her fault he was so naughty. Problem with other parents was that they didnt know about his problem and thought he was just a naughty boy. She told me about him after he kicked out towards my daughter, missing her, I have every respect for any parent who has a child that has any medical problem. To be able to cope with children like this you all deserve a medal. I am so thankful everyday that my children dont have anything wrong with them be it illness or behavour or whatever.
Hugs to all of you. ( Hope I havent offended anyone )

[ckfe]

There is an alternative to ritalin ,that is methylphenidate , my sons been on them for a long while.He allso use to have a top up ,just afer leaving school , but we have stopped that one know as we keep him very busy.
I know exactly what your going through and it is hard.
My son use to bounce everywhere and still does first thing and last.
It is hard getting him to sleep , it was 11.30 last night.
Every sympathy for you all Tricky

methylphenidate is the other name for ritalin isn't it? it say methylphenidate on my daughters tablets but her doctor at the hospital says it's ritalin

[veggielover]

My son is on Equasym xl which is methylphenidate and equasym 5mg tabs, the xl is a long release that he has monday to friday ( school hours ) then he is "topped up" with the 5mg after school and weekends he takes 6 of the 5mg throughout the day.

Tricky........ ask your specialist about melatonin. My boy has 2.5 mg 3 nights a week i can assure you they work. He has them sunday, tuesday, thursday nights half hour before bed.

[Incy]

My boy doesn't produce melatonin naturally so he has them every night.
It took 2 years of no sleep to diagnose but what a godsend!
I would definitely recommend them

[petal]

Can I ask, does he have any pets? He ought not to be exposed to computer games as they will make him worse but you might (or might not) consider a dog that is his responsibility or pony riding lessons. Animals are great healers and teachers and reach children in ways us adults just cannot.

[veggielover]

we have lots of pets!! lol..... i even gave him some seeds to plant and grow himself, but his patience wore off as soon as the seeds were in!!

Computer is limited to 1 hour per day IF he behaves at school....... i find the computer has helped more than hindered though as it has encouraged his reading and spelling, improved his concentration level, and co ordination.

[lizzylemon]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me 'pitching in' but I just wondered if you've asked him about why he's stealing the biscuits?

Everything aside, do you think he might be doing for attention, or is it just because he wants more? I stole and told lies as a child - money from the old fashioned 50p leccy metre, a hamster from the Pet Shop my Grandma worked in and told my school I had a pet Elephant that I fed buns to name a few (I know these because my mum loves to remind me......)

I wanted sweets because we couldn't afford them. I wanted the hamster because I wasn't allowed it. I lied because I was a child with an active imagination and I was also a latch key kid (a rare novelty in those day) so I could have had a whole plethora of reasons for how I was. But looking back I think (know) it was about making my self feel better and so perhaps your son feels bad, down, different and eating the stolen treats make him feel good........a horrible catch 22 I know as the snacks actually make him act worse and get into even more trouble and so keep the whole circle going.

Don't give up though, it took time but I don't do those things any more and having worked with adults with severe learning difficulties, I know that you son will learn not to do these things (if my trainees can, ANY one can) and I have every faith he will eventually turn into a lovely young man you will be very proud of, it might just a few more years than you thought.

[veggielover]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me 'pitching in' but I just wondered if you've asked him about why he's stealing the biscuits?

His reply was i dunno...... then cos i wanted it!!

[di]

In his mind do you think he considers it as stealing?If I forget to hide them,my kiddies are incredibly quick to devour a whole packet of choccie biccies between the two of them.Even though they've been told off about it before,I don't think they,nor actually I,percieve it as stealing?

[FionaH]

His reply was i dunno...... then cos i wanted it!!

Sorry but that made me smile, had that particular conversation so many times.
A really nice thing about this thread is that i have been talking about it with my youngest. He's 16 now and outgrowing a lot of the more "challenging" behaviours. He vividly remembers being over sensitive to noise and doing stuff just cos he wanted to with no thought for consequence. He actually said he was grateful we didnt make allowances for him as a little one!

ps not sure he will still think like this the next time he and I lock horns

[ckfe]

His reply was i dunno...... then cos i wanted it!!

my daughters reply when we asked her why she'd done something used to be "because the naughty mouse told me to do it".. when we made her get rid of the imaginery naughty mouse she then changed her excuse to "because the leprechauns in my head told me to do it"