Kids??? Brilliant!!!

[bobleponge]

Just phoned my eldest daughter for a quick chat and the youngest granddaughter answered the phone. 30 seconds then passed onto the eldest one. Quick chat with her, then asked if I could speak to mummy.
"No granddad you cant, she's in the shower. With daddy. Both at the same time. I dont know why they are both in there together, you should have a shower one at a time. Have to go now because I'm just starting a new game on the Wii. Bye. Love you."

I fear mummy may be a bit embarrased when I phone back in a short while.

[SarzWix]

Poor mummy... You can't get away with anything once they get past a certain age, until they hit puberty when everything is pointedly ignored because it's 'disgusting'

[Seahorse]

It doesn't get any better. My seven year old recently burst into my room, interrogated my boyfriend on his state of undress under the bedclothes, then asked in the most stern of tones, 'have you been having s*x with my Mum?!'

I was sure I was going to get grounded

[FionaH]

Priceless! My kids have only just realised that my then boyfriend, now husband used to "pop in" for breakfast quite a bit

[bluemoon]

When pregnant with daughter number 2 I fell and quite badly injured my back to the point where I needed help dressing. Number one daughter didn't comment unti I was much better and we were at a bus-stop - y'know, the one at half nine in the morning that all the pensioners catch - then she said 'Why does my Daddy take your knickers off?' I still blush to think of it.

[Burgerboy]

Don't worry, my four year old daughter asked "do you like sex nanny?" to my mum, and in the same week asked the vicar at the church fete why his dog had a "tail hole?". I laughed while the wife slowly died! lol

[bubblewrap]

And Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week - Benny Hill.

[Bren In Pots]

I took our 4 year old grandson for his swimming lesson because DD had a dentist emergency, so I thought I might as well go swimming at the same time. Was getting changed when a loud voice said Nana 'you've got boobies just like my mummy' I've never seen so many people trying not to laugh.

[tootles]

No.1 son knows everything now, He saw me taking my (the) pill the other night and asked me what it was for so I explained that I didn't want to have any more babies and that the pill made sure of that. He looked at me and said "If you don't want to have any more babies you should just stop making sex with daddy"
Erm.................

After his first sex education lesson at school he came home with a rather traumatised look on his face and (hand across brow) said "I'm 9 years old for goodness sake I just don't need to know this stuff"

[veggielover]

My son was playing a game on the pc with my brother called smack the monkey...... when he come home he come out with " i was spanking the monkey at nans house today mum" that was it the tears were falling from my eyes...... still cracks me up thinking about it

[NOG]

The boy Sam would form about 4 open the door or answer the phone and tell the caller "we were doing sex" no matter who it was, or what ever we were really doing.

[julesapple]

After sex education at school, my youngest came out with;

'Mummy, you've had sex four times, but Daddy has only had sex two times' (because I have four children, but OH & I have two children together) 'And, Mummy, Uncle K and Aunt S have never had sex' (because my brother & SinL don't have kids) 'and Nanny & G/dad have had sex four times, but it was so long ago they've probably forgotten'

Jules

[Glutton4...]

ROFMPSL - several more perfectly good reasons for NOT having kids!!!

[Waffler]

You've gotta love 'em! As an infant teacher you do hear all sorts. Makes me think I'd be ever so careful about what I did and said if I had kids (but I guess that's easier said than done!)

[SlugLobber]

And Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week - Benny Hill.

Got his greatest hits. I might have to play that on the way home, now. Along with 'Gather in the Mushrooms', tee hee hee!

Don't have kids of my own, but I do remember my sister's little boy running into our house with those sex balls you get from I've-no-idea-where! I didn't twig what they were until she went beetroot red and snatched them from him.